I shamelessly swiped this post, but it is perfect and deserves recognition. The image comes to us from Thailand's Tiffany Show, which is billed as "the original transvestite show."

Implant cancer! Brain melting! Autism vaccines! Big tumor! Drug users! Chimera monkeys! Face transplants! Yoga danger! And the future of your baby, made clear! It's your Friday Health Watch, where we watch your health—but not for long!

Anyone who knows anything about anything knows that birds, of all animals, are not to be trusted. Have you seen a bird, recently, doing its little bird things (pecking?), acting as though its brain is the size of a Sno-Cap? Well, guess what: birds can do math. Higher math.

Chimp research! Bird safety! Nemo extinction! Raptor claws! Rat acid! Alkali oceans! Lemur meat! Dolphin jetpack! And real talk words of wisdom about our current chemistry debates! It's your Thursday Science Watch, where we watch science—with compassion!

Let us thank the Obama campaign's senior strategist David Axelrod for this sterling metaphor today, regarding Newt Gingrich's anus — something we'll see more of as the primary season lingers on.

Marian Thompson, the widow of an exotic pet enthusiast who unleashed 56 dangerous animals into Zanesville, Ohio before committing suicide, wants her leopards back.

Cholesterol diabeetus! Docto procto! Death surgery! Concussion athletes! Cantaloupe killers! Cell harvest! Cialis excuses! Man breasts! And you monkeys won't get away with this, after all! It's your Friday Health Watch, where we watch your health—on the real!

Today we learned that some sort of virtual monkey project will soon complete the works of Shakespeare, as has long been theorized. Amazing, right? Hm, not so amazing, explains one commenter.

A computer programmer testing the "Infinite Monkey Theorem"—that, with enough time, a monkey randomly mashing a typewriter would eventually type the complete works of Shakespeare—says his virtual monkeys will soon complete the works, way ahead of their infinity deadline!

Cops in Berwyn, Ill. responded to a report of an unresponsive 14-year-old boy on Thursday night. They apparently found him—dying—outside the home. Investigating inside they discovered more than 200 animals in the 1,100-square foot home.

Bonni Marcus and Jack Zinzi dined in Park Slope on Sunday with their "closest companion," a monkey doll named Bongo. They are now offering a $500 cash reward to anyone who finds the orphaned simulation of a primate. Jack explained the predicament to The Brooklyn Paper:

Nice baboons! Dead trees! Spiral galaxies! Ipad apps! Macaque alarms! Time machines! Rainbow toads! Eyeball pictures! And the latest news about the fishes and their watery friends! It's your Friday Science Watch, where we watch science—faster than you thought!

After a three-day adventure in the wilds of New Jersey, officials were able to tranquilize and capture a baboon that had escaped from Six Flags Great Adventure. The monkey seems to have had a grand adventure, traveling across backyards, down highways, and over a golf course on a general course east, possibly toward Manasquan, which has one of the nicer beaches on the shore. Thus far Great Adventure is unable to confirm, officially, that the baboon is a resident of its safari park, but spokeswoman Kristin B. Siebeneicher said it "seems likely that it is one of the Safari's baboons." We should hope! [ABC6; Newark Star-Ledger]

We've always said, when drunk, that monkeys are the great untapped demographic of the 21st century. Well! Someone has finally listened: Advertising firm Proton has created the first campaign directed entirely at monkeys.

Police in Gothenberg, Sweden are looking for a furry who committed armed robbery and fired a few shots at a local bank. Their first challenge: Figuring out whether the robber was a monkey or a bear.

Here's the first teaser trailer for the followup to the 2009 mega-hit comedy The Hangover. The three hapless amigos are back, though they've swapped Las Vegas for Thailand and a menacing tiger for a cute little monkey. And a funny hat!

Once again, monkeys prove themselves to be the biggest pranksters of the animal kingdom, this time pulling the spandex shorts right off this old, pale-cheeked sunbather. [NSFW]

This restaurant is all monkey business. And also, this server won't stop monkeying around at this restaurant in Japan. Whichever the monkey joke you prefer, this mask-wearing waitress is a monkey.

Earlier on Today, all of the hosts gathered around for a segment about monogamy and animals. As the animals climb all over Al, Meredith, Matt, and Ann — the anchor's collective faces of discomfort are worth 1000 words.

Because it's Saturday, here is a guy getting swarmed by monkeys. We have no further information on the monkey swarm, except that it looks really fun. Maybe this will be the hot new toy this Christmas: A monkey swarm?