Perez Hilton would have something to do with Justin Bieber's improbable rise to stardom. Hilton all but claimed he fashioned Bieber out of tween clay in an interview to MTV.com: "I make things happen." Justin Bieber = A thing. [MTV]

The Real World: New Orleans is currently in production. This week the police had to be called when a cast member "fell ill" after using a toothbrush that his housemate had urinated on. Really.

Lori broke up with her boyfriend, Corey, and it was quite the story at the Montessori. But this allegory ends a bit whorey, as she got pregnant. That's where the problems begin.

MTV is having all their top moneymakers examined. Kate Gosselin hates the dancing stars in her galaxy. Corey Feldman is banned from Corey Haim's funeral. Martha Stewart can't get laid. Monday's gossip got up an hour late.

CNN reported today that MTV has decided to ban the airing of the music video for Lady Gaga and Beyoncé's "Telephone" on its network. The most shocking thing about this is that MTV still believes its decision matters. Video inside.

Disco suffers an undeservedly bad rap considering it's one of the most honestly blissful genres of music. Last night, ABDC's best crews burned up the floor with their own disco infernos, transforming kitschy 70s fare into hip hop.

This report, fictionally filed by NPR correspondent Nina Totenberg, shows that the female residents of a house at 2000 S St., NW in Washington, D.C. are not only influenced by negative media portrayals of their gender, but also perpetuate them.

If a teen ever wants to go on 16 and Pregnant, there are three things MTV demands: Be 16, be pregnant, and have an emotionally abusive boyfriend. The only difference is the boy's hobby. Last night: hunting!

The struggle between family and identity defined the lives of the three twentysomethings profiled on last night's True Life. All from disparate Amish communities, the three were united in their quest to balance antiquated upbringings and their "real world" dreams.

Seaside Realty in Seaside, NJ would like to remind you that the house from Jersey Shore is still available for nightly rentals. But you better hurry because every prom party in Jersey is headed there this spring!

ABDC's stage was full of haphazard hair bows and fashion failures for the Lady Gaga challenge. Canada's Blueprint Cru had the best costumes and moves, triumphing as the judges' favorite; the only group to approximate the icon's style and choreography.

The eight residents of a house at 2000 S St., NW, in Washington, D.C. were selected to be the subject of a study about alcohol abuse and violence. These are the sad, horrible, appalling, bloody findings.

Why is it so hard to get through to teenagers? If it's not coming home after curfew, it's that they're always getting pregnant. Valerie is no different, only this time the babydaddy actually has something to offer: mad beatboxing skillzzz.

Last night's 16 and Pregnant was called "Nikkole"—because it was about Nikkole's pregnancy. Except it wasn't. It was about her boyfriend Josh. The worst baby-daddy this—or any—teen pregnancy show has ever seen. He was a monster.

Jersey Shore is already so incredibly obvious that the jokes about it are just too easy and often unfunny. How does the porn movie based on the show measure up? It is both terrible and amazing. Safe(ish) for work!

What happens when a friend of Gawker.TV makes an appearance on MTV? We post it immediately. Diana Levine and her boyfriend Matt Workman shot Justin Combs for his sweet sixteen party—but not without some theatrics, first.

Anyone who compares Snooki's legs to a piano is a friend of mine. This real-life Jersey grandma is not only disgusted with the Jersey Shore cast's antics, she's also concerned they're going to get AIDs from the hot tub.

Now that ABDC's real competition is underway, two of the best groups are ones readily accused of cheesy gimmicks. The husky Heavy Impact boys and jump ropers Saltare performed so well that they transcended their quirks. At least this week....

In news that isn't news, TMZ found un-aired footage of Ronnie Magro spewing some not-so-friendly homophobic epithets, taunting the guy he's about to throw down with before his first (but not last) fight. I guess they worked, because fisticuffs ensued.

Just when we think we're out, MTV pulls us back in. Hot on the heels of the Teen Mom finale, we are blessed with our own little bundle of joy: a new season of 16 and Pregnant. Baby mama drama!