The inevitable nude Snooki pics have finally made their way online and they are shockingly safe for work. The masterminds behind NakedSnooki.com promise more.

Survivor has returned for its TWENTIETH season. It hasn't quite jumped the shark yet, because the first 15 minutes had me laughing maniacally. But as far as the show itself, Survivor is pretty much copying MTV at this point.

On The Real World last night, the tension between Erika and Ashley came to a head. Thankfully, the results were hilarious, and they solidified the fact that Erika is AWESOME. Using footage from yesterday's episode, here are three reasons why.

Several people sent us a Craigslist casting notice claiming they're casting new guidos for season two. We called the number and, guess what, it's faker than that rack JWOWW is sporting.

Of all the peace accords in all the world, the most inane was made between two warring factions in a house at 2000 S St, NW. Here is transcript from their negotiations as arbitrated by Secretary of State Hilary Clinton.

• The New York Times Co. actually turned a profit in 2009. Glory be! [NYT]
• Did you read (or hear about) Playboy's new interview with John Mayer, the one in which he managed to make himself look like even more of an idiot? Mayer's been busy today apologizing for his comments, not surprisingly.
• American Idol's ratings were up big last night. It's the Ellen effect. [TVG]
• Get ready to see ads on magazine covers; it's so happening. [AdAge]
• Another symptom of the times: While Gourmet didn't survive the great magazine meltdown, Food Network Magazine continues to be a big hit. [NYP]
• Since MTV no longer has any connection to music whatsoever, it's changed its logo. The "music television" bit is gone. And the logo has put on weight. [BC]
• The next Spider Man installment—coming July 3, 2012, just in case you happen to have your calendar in front of you—will be in 3D. Naturally. [THR]
• Speaking of things in the far-off future, Tom Cruise has signed on to star in Mission Impossible IV (coming May '11!). And in what will undoubtedly come as the best news you'll hear all week, Celine Dion returns to Las Vegas in '11.

MTV will milk this Teen Mom gravy train for all its worth. And we will watch Every. Damn. Minute. The special mostly showed non-baby related issues like life-threatening illness, divorce, and baby-scares. Nothing ever goes right on this show.

Mission: Impossible 4 will star Tom: Cruise. New evidence suggests Howard Stern will not be on American Idol. Julia Roberts and Tom Hanks get picked up by Universal. Snowpocalypse 2010 got you down? The Trade Roundup has powerfully heated seats!

Movieline has the great scoop that round two for the greatest sociological experiment of our time will take place in South Beach, Miami. MTV has already rented a house and is installing the duck phone right now!

America's Best Dance Crew (ABDC is you're not lame) held it's Northeast regionals last night. And it was the danciest, crewiest, northeastiest hour of television evarrrr. But is it possible a gaggle of Canadians can win an American dance competition?

MTV has a poll up with some rather horrible suggestions for where they should film the ill-fated second season of the most important sociological experiment of our time. Sorry, but these just won't do. We have some better ideas.

Oh, Snooki, you should stick to your day job—whatever that may be. Because professional rockstar interviewer just isn't your calling. While interviewing Phoenix, she runs out of material after question one: "Have you heard of Jersey Shore?"

Teen Mom will never end, and who are we to complain? The moms got together to explain what their lives have been like after the cameras stopped rolling, and Dr. Drew was there to berate them offer sound advice

Meredith Vieira tried her damnedest to understand the Jersey Shore this morning. She can't. The problem is that she tried to in the first place, and about a month behind schedule. When will the olds learn?

Gender roles reversed last night after Ty drunkenly told Emily that he loved her and she was simply "not that into it." Considering how the relationship began, we can't say we're that surprised. Some bitches just can't be tied down.

Teen Mom, one of the best series MTV has ever aired, came to a close last night. And while the teens have matured significantly throughout the show's run, the end doesn't signify that their problems have been solved.

Some sample lyrics:

The stars of Jersey Shore know how to haggle. NBC buys a show from Conan O'Brien. Everyone loves Clint Eastwood, Martha Stewart pulls an Oprah and a pharmaceutical company-backed obesity documentary raises eyebrows. Are you ready for trade roundup time?

The Jersey Shore cast is currently demanding lots of cash to return for season two. However, by playing renegotiation hardball, the guidos and guidettes have given MTV the perfect opportunity to bring back the best and boot the rest.

Jenni Farley of Jersey Shore is a busy, busy girl. In addition to her role as "MTV's newest sensation of reality TV," J-Woww's the founder of a clothing line, graphic design company, and "Long Island's top promotional company," and she recently introduced "an Insane Liquid formula that will gaurantee [sic] weight loss," too. All this has made her a very popular person, as you can probably imagine. But she doesn't want to see any of her devoted fans getting injured when they show up to her "homecoming celebration" later this week, a point she'll undoubtedly be stressing when she addresses her "security issues" at a press conference tomorrow: