The Situation's yearbook photo (sent in by a reader) is even more hysterical than the laughably bad pictures of him in his male stripper days. We may get better, nakeder pictures of one of his castmates mighty soon. Guess who...

After this week's insane acceptance speech doubleheader, reflection on Mariah Carey's history of public zaniness is in order. Throughout her career, Mariah has had several instances of questionable behavior—thankfully, the camera has always been there to catch her.

The guidos of coastal New Jersey can't really be called a peace-loving tribe, but when battle is done, it is usually for good reason and because one party is provoked. Sometimes it's just cause they're drunk. Either way—fascinating.

It's always nerve-wracking having company over. Is the house clean enough? Will we have enough food? When will they get here? Will they show at all? Like a good party, it's going to be a blast watching Jersey Shore together.

Despite its brief run, How's Your News? was a well-received television experiment, in which newscasters with varying developmental disabilities interviewed entertainers and politicians. Here, they ask Bill Hader the hard-hitting questions, and still find time for hugs.

The 111th Congress of the United States of America outlines these proposed rules concerning the sleeping arrangements and sexual encounters of seven strangers picked to live in a house at 2000 S St., NW in Washington D.C. It is decreed:

When Tila Tequila first popped onto the scene, she was the harmless, if ugly, face of fame's grim seduction. In the wake of "fiancée" Casey Johnson's death, she now represents everything wrong with our modern era.

The first season of a reality show is the only "pure" season. Now that the eight cast members have achieved fame, the most important sociological experiment of our time is ruined. Of course we'll still watch, but wearing black.

Currently, the White House is considering either Jan. 26th or Feb. 2nd for Obama's first State of the Union Address. Do you know anything else that is on Feb. 2nd? Yep: The 'Lost' premier. Obama is definitely a communist.

That's right, you won't have to go to Seaside Heights to talk to two of the famous guidos, because we're bringing them right to you to talk about the latest episode as it happens. Who will it be?

Everyone is fed up on Teen Mom. Mothers are fed up being mothers, babies are fed up with their fathers, and couples are fed up being apart. Who isn't fed up? The viewers lucky enough to watch this amazing show.

Michael Cera is filming some MTV special with the Jersey Shore kids. Sorry, Mikey, but DJ Paulie Dope's hairdo isn't going to get people to go see your new movie. Still, kinda cute.

Before Jersey Shore on MTV, there were the Dog Brothers on MTV's Sex in the 90's.

This weekend, the New York Times tried to find redeeming value in MTV's Jersey Shore, the most important sociological artifact of our time. Sorry, but trying to find any good in this show is missing the point entirely.

Hooking up and getting drunk aren't the only things the guidos and guidettes of the Jersey Shore have to do for fun. Don't forget about the fights! Let's look at how they handle conflict and retribution in their fiefdom.

It was only a matter of time before we got Jersey Whores, but now that it's here, our brain is about to explode. What is the result of a parody of a self-parody? Implosion? Destruction? Beauty? We're boggled!

The eight-guidos-in-a-house reality show is MTV's biggest hit in years, but this year Christmas and New Year's Eves land on the show's Thursday night slot. Should they air a show no one will watch or risk further cast overexposure?

Oy. The rollercoaster of a train wreck of a nuclear meltdown that is Teen Mom continues to slowly crush our souls. This week: more fighting, more advice, and a whole lot of regret.

• You know that New York's crime rate is at an all-time low (or it's just a really slow news week) when NYPD commissioner Ray Kelly injects himself into any investigation involving Jon Gosselin that doesn't include the reality TV trainwreck's murder. Kelly says the NYPD has yet to determine whether someone really ransacked Jon Gosselin's Upper West Side apartment last weekend, or if it was just a big publicity stunt carried out by Gosselin and/or girlfriend Hailey Glassman. But the investigation continues, he says, so rest assured a few more of your tax dollars will be spent getting to the bottom of things. [NYDN]
• The call that Charlie Sheen's wife, Brooke Mueller, made to 911 on Christmas Day has been released. According to a one report, the couple's argument—in which Sheen allegedly pulled out a knife and said he'd kill her, thus landing him in the clink—was all over a Christmas present. [People, Us, E!]
• You knew Michael Lohan wasn't the world's best father or ex-husband. But he sounds like a pretty horrific fiancé, too. In newly filed court documents, Michael Lohan's ex, Erin Muller, says Lindsay Lohan's dad repeatedly abused her during their relationship, once beat her up for having a male friend on Facebook, and even kicked her "in the vagina" on one occasion. [TMZ]

MTV has rolled out the commercials for Wednesday's big premiere of The Real World: DC. However, after Snooki's punch to the face on Jersey Shore, can anyone actually be excited about an "intense fight about religion among the roomates?"