Just in case you get all your breaking national news from Gawker, former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee—preacher, used to be fat, from a town called Hope, nutty super-Christian—won the Iowa caucuses. How should you feel about this? Videographer Alex Goldberg secretly videotaped his liberal (and Jewish and gay) roommate's reaction to Huckabee's victory last night. Let it serve as a surrogate reaction for all of us.

Hillary flashing the crazy eyes remains marginally more important than rapidly spreading violent unrest in Pakistan, as has been the case since early this morning. Also: it is snowy in Chicago, there are a lot of immigrants, and a huge fucking tiger killed a guy! [Drudge]

Don't expect any pokes from Rupert Murdoch. The News Corp. chief says that "as long as they keep talking about $10 billion-$15 billion" for Facebook, he's not interested. [Times Online]

Being either too aggressive or too compliant can be disasterous when negotiating with Apple so News Corp's president Peter Chernin opts for the safety of being obvious. On upcoming music negotiations with the computer maker: "I assume it will be prickly and dicey and contentious like all negotiations are and like all negotiations should be." [Reuters]

I'd assume this is a joke, except it's not April 1, and also it's not funny: Yahoo plans to introduce a singing newsreader by the end of the quarter. Video clips of the vocalist will "have you tapping your feet," according to Yahoo news/information head Scott Moore. Rumor claims the unnamed singer is "not an unknown and has experience as a reporter and musician." If you know who it is, reveal your knowledge. Or just guess.

As if we needed any more signs that New York has become pretty irrelevant on the hip hop map, Brooklyn rapper Fabolous attempted to generate publicity for his upcoming album, but fell short of full martyrdom and was arrested for his troubles, according to WCBS. He remains in less than fab, but stabulous condition.

We just want to wish NPR commentator and former Murrow man, Daniel Schorr, a belated happy birthday. May your stentorian delivery of the week's news with just the tiniest sheen of analysis that always seems to result in "it will be interesting to see" continue for another billion years.

We nicknamed our throbbing carotid artery "the autosomatic pleasure pump."

God damn it. You go to the trouble of actually doing your research, you say all the right things, and you still can't get put in jail for pedophilia. It's like, what do you have to do, actually fuck kids?

• Realizing that the industry has little potential for growth and pays poorly, men are getting out of the TV news game. Why would you stay if you had penis and all? [WP]
• Fox's new Internet strategy involves sticking the word "My" on every single property they own. [B&C]
• Ya know those Steven and Emily billboards? Turns out they were actually advertising. We know, we're are shocked as you are. [NYT]

About two hours ago, a cement truck overturned and slid off a road in the Hollywood Hills (map here, just because maps are fun), where it now dangles, threatening to crush several homes. We now take you to the scene of the incident, where the Defamer Special Correspondent on Holy Shit, There's A Teetering Cement Truck In My Backyard gives us an update on how this might affect the real estate values and/or exercising patterns of local celebrities:

Bumperactive has created an innovative way to digest the nucleus of an entire New York Times news day in mere moments. Their Final Word NYT mashup eats the daily newsfeed, then excretes the headlines and last paragraph of top stories. No need to spend time on the tiresome ledes or middle sections — get right to the summation, be it thought-provoking sendoff quote or cymbal-crashing finale.

The emails trickling in suggest there's a feeling that we ought to say something about the guilty verdicts just handed down against Enron's Kenneth "Kenny Boy" Lay and Jeff Skilling. So, um: Yay?

• Dell disappoints. Well, "disappoints" implies someone had hopes for them. [NYT]

Keep in mind that there are two sides to every story as we all giggle at the jarring juxtaposition of "Yanni" and "domestic dispute": Yanni told the cops that his girlfriend kicked him and he may have injured his finger (we really wanted it to be "keyboard pinky," but there was no indication of such). How might you react if you thought you might lose a finger, thus leaving the future of New Age synthesizer music in the accursed hands of John Tesh? Yeah, we thought so.

Israeli PM Ariel Sharon in Grim Condition

CNN's current unscientific homepage poll:

Top Five Searches on msn.com at the moment:

Now that the burnt rubber smoke has dissipated and the runway rubble has been squared away, we are getting a clearer picture of just how star-studded the semi-doomed JetBlue Flight 292 actually was:

Little did we know, yesterday's averted JetBlue tragedy was very nearly an averted Hollywood tragedy as well: