• This month's installment of blogger reading series What You See Is What You Get is titled "Summer Camp Stories," wherein bloggers likely spin tales of being sociopathic inverts who sniff glue during arts and crafts hour instead of making out in bunk beds and playing kickball like all the normal kids. Sure to be a hoot. 7:30pm at P.S. 122. [flavorpill]
• Entertainment Weekly recently named Augusten Burroughs the 15th Funniest Person in America, which, depending on your opinion of EW, is either a positive or a negative. Make up your mind for sure at Cooper Union's Great Hall tonight, where the former alcoholic ad exec turned writer peforms his new autobiographical show. [Upcoming]
• Elvis Costello returns to Central Park SummerStage for the third time in his career, joined by Emmylou Harris. It's 60 bucks, but what better way to pay tribute to the guy whose glasses you're probably wearing? [Summerstage]

• Apparently, a few Dartmouth kids decided not to be i-bankers and consultants like 98% of their classmates and actually did something, like, creative. The end result: Critically acclaimed dance/performance collective Pilobus, performs at The Joyce Theater tonight. [flavorpill]
• To appease the brothers Weinstein on the occasion of Miramax's 25th anniversary, MoMA presents a 50-film Miramax retrospective. Tonight's offerings: poverty/drug flick City of God (6:00pm), counterculture drug flick Trainspotting (8:45pm), and numerous carafes filled with the spilled blood of recalcitrant assistants. [MoMA]
• The Daily Show's Rob Corddry, Best Week Ever's Brian Huskey, and Conan O'Brien's Seth Morris comprise improv group the Naked Babies. They attempt to make you laugh at the Abingdon Theatre tonight. [UCB]

Friday:
• Insound, the music vendor for people who still actually buy CDs, throws a Pre-Siren Fest party with the Ponys, Chin Up Chin Up, Be Your Own PET, and Rahim. Because you know you want to hang out with sweaty dirty people in a club before you do it again at Coney Island. [flavorpill]
• Did your kid ask you to camp out to pick up the latest Harry Potter installment at midnight tonight because he just haaad to have it first thing in the morning? Were you too spineless to tell the little fucker no? At least do it drunk and on a full stomach: the kind souls at Mcnally Robinson Booksellers are offering free food and booze from 10pm-12:30am (along with Tarot card readings and a DJ set) to help pass the time. 52 Prince st, between Lafayette and Mulberry.
Saturday:
• Every Chuck Taylor-rockin indie kid channeling their inner Seth Cohen descends upon the dirtiest beach in Brooklyn for the Village Voice's Siren Fest. Spoon, Mates of State, and Q and Not U vs. triple digit temperatures and the resulting body odor. One way or another, you'll be getting high. [flavorpill]
• Prefer to watch Johnny Depp channel his inner Michael Jackson or see Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson channel every single character they've ever played? Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Wedding Crashers are now out in a desperate bid to revive Hollywood's box office performance. [Fandango]
Sunday:
• The Groovedeck at Bed NY plays host to another rooftop party, as illustriously chronicled in last week's Sunday Styles. Here's to hoping for another West Side building collapse. Oh no we didn't. [Upcoming]

We'd like to thank the Daily News for making the effort to plan some budget-friendly evenings for lovebirds looking for a cheap night on the town, but we're ultimately dismayed by the total lack of accuracy in their reporting. Unfortunately, not a single date idea for under $20 is realistic. Here's their budget for a romantic night at the free movies in Bryant Park:

• Catch the only New York appearance of Dinosaur Jr. at Summerstage tonight before the trio returns to the greener pastures of aging rock icon-dom. With rotating Canadian carousel Broken Social Scene, Radio 4, and the spelling-impaired Magik Markers. [Summerstage]
• Get your daily dose of superfluous, nonsensical, over-the-top environmentalism at the Solar-Powered Arts Festival's "Solar Power Film Series," which is "the first film festival in New York City to use the power of the sun and a metal parking garage to construct an outdoor 'ecotheater'...creating the city's 'greenest' motion picture showcase." Tonight's screening is "Road," about some government photographer of environmental disaster areas with relationship problems or something. Like you're even reading at this point. [flavorpill]
• The Roots play a free "secret" show at 7pm at Pier 54 tonight as part of the Fusion Flash concert series. So much for the whole secrecy thing. [FF]

• Pop-culture critic Chuck Klosterman (feel free to throw any of the following adjectives in front of "pop" to modify that otherwise benign descriptor: trite, annoying, cloying, obnoxious, tedious) participates in a taping of Air America's "Liberal Arts" show with Katherine Lanpher at the Housing Works Used Book Cafe. There's a $10 suggested donation, which you will obviously not pay. Doors open at 7:30. [Housing Works]
• Grime star and Spice Girl lookalike Lady Sovereign makes her inaugural New York City appearance at the Knitting Factory with Kanye West's DJ A-Trak and Nick Catchdubs. [flavorpill]
• Real Brits The Dead 60s open for fake Brits The Bravery at Webster Hall tonight. [Upcoming]

• How did an Indo-Englishman with an all-American name become synonymous with Brazilian music?, asks Flavorpill of Joe Davis. Beats us. But he DJs at APT tonight, with free vodka between 9 and 10pm to boot. [flavorpill]
• Steven Berlin Johnson, author of Everything Bad is Good for You: How Today's Pop Culture is Actually Making Us Smarter (also known as How We Justify Watching Desperate Housewives Reruns This Summer Even Though We Saw The Same Episodes The First Time Around), speaks at the National Museum of the American Indian on "how the design of social spaces in interactive environments is based on the translation of metropolitan values, or the 'value of sidewalks,' building on the intelligence of great cities and neighborhoods." We'd probably have to watch some more TV if we want to figure out what the fuck this means. [Upcoming]
• Victor Navasky and David Levine of The Nation partake in a discussion at the Strand Bookstore regarding the ethical issues entailed in political cartooning. Now you know where to go to get your questions answered on the decency of the latest Ben Sargent quip. [Strand]

• Cintra Wilson, the fame-hating, catty quasi-celebrity prone to unapologetic snark (yes, we used these exact same words to describe her last year, but nothing's changed and we're lazy) solicits the help of Jonathan Ames, Mike Albo, and others to read from her new book, "Colors Insulting to Nature," at Joe's Pub tonight. [flavorpill]
• Longtime New Yorker staff writer Mark Singer's new book Character Studies is (you guessed it!) a collection of profiles he's written. He reads from said collection at Half King tonight. [Half King]
• The Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers dance-number vehicle The Gay Divorcee screens at the Bryant Park Film Festival. We haven't seen it, but we're pretty sure they don't mean "gay" in the literal sense. Shame. [Bryant Park]

Friday:
• Express your love or hate of Pitchfork (applause if the former; stoic, Pitchfork-style gazes of condescending disapproval if the latter) at Mercury Lounge tonight, where former staff writer Matt Lemay plays a show with his Get Him Eat Him; Oxford Collapse and the Constantines to cover his ass if he blows. [flavorpill]
• Call the quadriplegic rugby players from Sundance hit Murderball "special" and they'll beat the piss out of you. We can't even do the shit they do with four fully-functioning limbs, so show some respect and see the flick. [Fandango]
Saturday:
• A Gathering of Tribes, much to our chagrin, isn't some Jewish aggregate hell-bent on world domination — it's some artsy-pants non-profit organization. Check out Rummage, their art yard sale, on 285 E. 3rd Street today. [Tribes]
• Shake your ass to the Brazilian sights and sounds of Busquelo Productions, which throws its annual Tropic of Cancer party at Supreme Trading in Brooklyn. This year's event is thrown in conjunction with the Small Planet Fund, which supports grassroots movements dedicated to fighting world poverty and social injustice. Just like Live 8, but without all the bad music! [flavorpill]
Sunday:
• There's one cure for your hangover, and it's more booze before you head to the Hudson River Park for their first Sunday night Moondance. Turn off your Swing Kids DVD and take advantage of free dance lessons starting at 6:30 PM; David Berger & the Sultans of Swing hitting the stage at 7:00 PM. [HRP]

Here's something to keep in mind when you're not quite ready for your Saturday night to end this weekend. The New York City triathlon will start swimming down the Hudson at about 6 a.m. So as you're reaching the end of your own pizza-beer-coke threefer, you can head uptown to watch a bunch of overaggressive and overambitious i-banker types start their swim-bike-run.

• IGNITE!, Gen Art's annual multimedia extravaganza at the Puck Building Ballroom, features 12 artists, 30 short films, live burlesque, a fortune teller, a snake charmer, and an open bar. Because nothing goes together like excessive alcohol consumption and excessively poisonous snakes. [flavorpill]
• In keeping with the Hollywood trend of fucking up a good thing, the powers that be at NBC prematurely cancelled the totally awesome Freaks and Geeks. In bucking the Hollywood trend of fucking up a good thing, the powers that be at Fox actually decided to give the totally awesome Arrested Development another go. Paul Feig, the man integral to both shows (creater of the first, director of the second), reads from his new book, Superstud: Or How I Became a 24-Year-Old Virgin, at the E.17 St. Barnes and Noble tonight. Don't act like you can't relate to the title.
• The Wrens frontman Charles Bissell puts on a solo show at Pete's Candy Store in Williamsburg. Expect pretty little Jersey-inspired pop ballads anyhow. [Upcoming]

• Rachid Taha rocks Algerian punk so hard even Brian Eno and the Rolling Stones are all up on his shit. If he's good enough for Eno and the Stones, he's good enough for you. Bowery Ballroom, 8pm. [flavorpill]
• The Devon Sawa/Jason Schwartzman powerhouse film Slackers (not to be confused with the actually respectable Slacker) is a utter crap. That, however, seems to be the point of this year's Hudson River Park's River Flicks series, which also features such celluloid accomplishments as Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and Cheech and Chong's Up in Smoke. Like you wanted to see Citizen Kane anyway. 8:30 at Pier 54. [HRP]
• Former Lemonheads frontman Evan Dando gets a turn on the decks at tonight's Cheeky Bastard party at Hiro. We really like the memo the party organizers wrote to all the 17-year old girls trying to take home 40-year old i-bankers: "Sorry to everyone who couldn't get in (last week) — please remember to bring your I.D. this week." Obviously! [Upcoming]

• Nothing like a good old-fashioned monolouge slam to get rid of your post-4th of July malaise. Try Bowery Poetry Bar's aptly-titled Manhattan Monolouge Slam at 8:00 PM. [flavorpill]
• Literary do-gooders Sarah Vowell, Joyce Carol Oates, Akhil Sharma, and others participate in a reading hosted by David Sedaris at Cooper Union in support of 826NYC, the writing center founded up literary do-gooder numero uno, David Eggers. [826NYC]
• We couldn't find a third to-do listing that held up to our usual scrutiny (we ran out of drugs and can't concentrate), so we're picking one at random from our friends at upcoming.org. Oh My! Levy is playing at Rothko tonight. Go forth and multiply, downtown trash. [Upcoming]

Even the most hardened of New Yorkers know that watching the city's fireworks is a special experience. For just 40 minutes, we try to forget our Blue State sensibilities and celebrate the spirit of our nation with warm, patriotic fuzzies from our jaded hipster hearts. To wit, a brief list of the sentiments overheard during a crowded fireworks celebration on a downtown rooftop:

Friday:
• Throw on some beat-up Chuck Taylors and your favorite Dashiki — Afro-Punk weekend kicks off tonight with a screening of James Spooner's documentary at BAM, and culminates on Sunday at an all-day Brooklyn block party. [flavorpill]
• Everyone loves the nostalgia associated with fireworks. Everyone loves the nostalgia associated with Coney Island. Put 'em together and you have, well, a nostalgia-filled evening of fireworks at Coney Island. [Paper]
Saturday:
• Everyone too poor to be drinking beer and eating burgers in the Hamptons will probably be doing so at P.S.1 out in Long Island City, where Warm Up 2005 kicks out with beats from DJ Harvey, Groove Collective, and Projections' Simon James. Sounds like more fun than the Star Room anyhow. [flavorpill]
• Just cause it's the 4th of July weekend doesn't mean you have to spend the entire time inebriated, drunky. Go get historically edumacated at the Cathedral of St. John Divine, starting point for the tour "Power, Presidents, and Peace: A Spotlight on American History." [ToNY]
Sunday:
• If you're not out of town by now, stop reading immediately and leave. LEAVE!

When it's a been a long night, and you're too drunk and too high, and you realize you spent much too much money, and the fucking F train isn't coming, and you realize you forgot to even grab a free paper so you'd have something to read while you're waiting, and you start to have one of those 4 a.m. existential crises about why you're living that way, and why you're living here, and whether you'll ever accomplish anything or meet anyone or make your life have any worth or value, the only way to maybe ward off your incipient depression is to whip out cell phone and play one of the stupid little phone videogames as a way to distract yourself.

• Find out what David Cross thinks is funny Iirony! Sarcasm! racial slurs written on steamed-up LES bar windows!) during "Inside Joke," Carl Arnheiter's exploration into the craft of comedy at the UCB Theater tonight. [UCB]
• New York indie rock manual The Deli celebrates the release of their third issue with performances by Nicole Atkins and Sylvie Lewis, among others, at Tonic. And yes, pretending to have heard of these performers ups your indie cred by at least 20% or 3 cans of Pabst. [flavorpill]
• Scott Blakeman (the Jew) and Dean Obeidallah (the Palestinian) perform "The Two-Comedian Solution to Middle East Peace," their critically acclaimed stand-up show, at Makor tonight. Evidently, the whole "Bombs Away!" solution isn't working out so hot. [92Y]

Early yesterday, we mentioned Tricia Romano's report that Norman Siegal and Paul Chevigny had filed suit on behalf of several plaintiffs regarding the cabaret laws. As a former head of the NY Civil Liberties Union, Siegal's involvement with the case comes as no surprise, but what of NYU law professor Paul Chevigny? According to a reader, Chevigny's interest in arguing the cabaret crackdown is a bit more personal:

• Check out David Byrne in all his big-suited glory at Washington Square Park tonight, where Jonathan Demme's 1984 classic, "Stop Making Sense," screens. It's free, too, so you only have to spend your dollars on the prerequisite weed. [WSPC]
• Check out David Byrne in all his quirky on-stage glory at Central Park's Summerstage tonight, where he performs with the Tosca Strings. Unlike the above version, though, this one will set you back 40 big ones. [CP]
• Looking for your do-gooder action of the day? Head on over to the Virgin Megastore in Union Square, where Billy Corgan and Mark Knopfler (tentatively) and the Swedes, the Heavenly States, and Head Automatica (definitely) perform to bring awarness to world poverty. Attendees can even buy $1 wristbands and sign a "personal commitment declaration," because both of those will totally bring the kiddos in Darfur Big Macs and chocolate shakes. [Paper]

According to Voice pixie Tricia Romano, NYU law prof Paul Chevigny and former NY Civil Liberties Union head Normal Siegal spent last Thursday being unquestionably awesome, having filed suit on behalf of a gaggle of plaintiffs regarding our city's highly retarded cabaret laws. Eager to bring the jitterbug room back to Applebee's, the two attorneys have served papers to the Department of Consumer Affairs; the Department of Buildings; the City Planning Commission, responsible for enforcing zoning restrictions; and the City of New York.