nutrition
Just Drink Water
Hamilton Nolan · 03/11/15 11:18AMMilk to Get Worse
Dayna Evans · 03/05/15 11:50AMWhen you think of liquids that you'd like to guzzle, does milk make it into your top ten? How about top fifty? Would you like to strike gallons of milk from grocery store shelves and watch as they bleed out into oblivion? Sure you would. Skrrtt—but wait a sec. What if I told you milk could taste like marshmallow Peeps?
You're Getting New Nutrition Labels on Your Awful Gross Foods, America
Adam Weinstein · 02/25/14 09:39AMThe Basic Inescapability of Fast Food for Kids
Hamilton Nolan · 11/05/13 10:48AMKids of the Future Will Be Denied Sweet Taco Bell Memories
Hamilton Nolan · 07/23/13 08:37AMCan You Eat Your Own Poop?
Hamilton Nolan · 02/21/13 10:25AMHello, it is time for "Hey, Science," our nauseatingly scientific weekly feature in which we have your most provocative scientific questions answered by real live scientists (or related experts). No question is too smart for us to tackle, which will be our downfall. This week, medical experts answer the question: Can you eat your own poop?
The Choice of a Fast Food Restaurant Is a Very Meaningful Choice
Hamilton Nolan · 10/11/12 03:15PMFast food restaurants: do you think they're "all the same?" Sure, and I guess human beings are "all the same" too, right? That's what Hitler thought, as well. For the rest of you, who know better, America's fast food establishments beseech you to take into considerations all the important factors relevant to your choice of a casual dining establishment. Once you purchase that McGriddle, there's no going back for a Croissanwich. This choice is forever.
Michelle Obama's War on Cranberries
Louis Peitzman · 06/24/12 04:51PMWhat Kind of Crap Should Be in School Vending Machines?
Hamilton Nolan · 02/21/12 12:05PMAre school vending machines causing obesity amongst America's youth? Haha, haha, yeah right. Eating one dozen Cadbury "Creme" eggs in the closet at midnight while typing furiously on Twitter is causing obesity amongst America's youth. Still, every little calorie saved helps, when it comes to our corn-syrup-addicted children. The government is setting new guidelines for what can be in school vending machines. What (vending machine) food should be put on (the kids in) our families (in school)?
A Guide to Workout Supplements That Probably Won't Kill You
Hamilton Nolan · 02/03/12 03:41PMThe US Army has launched an investigation into workout supplements after two soldiers fell down and died from heart attacks after taking pre-workout boosters like Jack3d and OxyElite Pro, which contain DMAA, a no good very bad/ perfectly safe amphetamine that either gives you heart attacks or is totally innocuous, depending on who you ask.
Fear of Jogging Proves Greater than Love of Soda
Hamilton Nolan · 12/16/11 03:15PMFor years, nay, decades, public health scolds have tried and tried to politely inform the American people that drinking gallon upon gallon of Fanta cola in lieu of water could have negative health effects, including but not limited to the fact that we as a nation are now enormous. But! Now, public health advocates have learned to tap into that most primal fear of Americans: fear of exercise.
Lawyer Suing Spa For Substandard Breakfast Buffet Offerings
Seth Abramovitch · 11/10/11 03:35AMHere's What Happens When You Try to Get Out of Patti Stanger's Diet Scam
Seth Abramovitch · 10/13/11 09:37PMRomance-defiling reality hag Patti Stanger has been shilling hard for Sensa — "the weight-loss system" you "sprinkle on your food" (active ingredient: 100% horseshit) — on commercials that run during her Bravo reality show, Millionaire Matchmaker. Well, a reader who gave Sensa a shot wrote in to share her experiences with the miracle product, and we thought we would in turn share them with you.
Denmark's Fatty Foods Tax is in Effect
Seth Abramovitch · 10/04/11 01:48AMHow to Make Fried 'Bubblegum,' the Latest Texas Treat
Lauri Apple · 09/06/11 03:30AMImmature Carrot Peeling Contest
Christopher Han · 11/14/10 10:00PMTwo guys and a redhead girl have a bright idea for a video. It's a porn with carrots. Making cole slaw has never been this fun. Come on, guys, Grow up!