During the New Media Revolution, old-school journalism has learned one thing about bloggers: They're incoherent. Rough drafts and an insidery feel render blog posts nearly unreadable. (Take, for example, half the content on ZDNet's tech blogs. Or the first four months of Valleywag.)

• Oracle chief Larry Ellison will preach the security gospel to the choir at next year's RSA Conference. While some doubt Oracle's security expertise, everyone knows that Larry knows how to stay safe. [Silicon.com]

Remember how, in the aftermath of AOL releasing the records of 500,000 users, the New York Times found the one searcher who didn't look for filth?

The Journal:

Dell announced yesterday that not only did its profit drop by 51%, but it's under SEC investigation. Chairman Michael Dell promised to improve, but the New York Times wasted no time in chastising him:

The New York Times, fresh off of exploiting AOL's invasion of its users' privacy by hunting down an AOL user and profiling her, has rediscovered its passion for privacy. Since Saturday, the paper's tech section managed to print four stories about the concept of online privacy:

Somewhere deep in the New York Times stylebook is the rule that all shopping columnists must be "quirky." David Pogue, master gadget and software reviewer, is the William Safire of the genre, and he's even better on video. In his latest clip, Pogue pulls off the best cheesy joke telling in history — just like your dad did around your high-school friends.

The New York Times looked at the pile of supposedly private user records AOL had released over the weekend. There was a user obsessed with rape porn. A user researching how to kill his wife. A user searching for kiddie porn. The Times had a tough call — which user's identity was most newsworthy?

Honestly, what other company gets a story on the front of the New York Times tech section just for apologizing for a privacy violation?

Who commissions an op/ed about Net Neutrality from the inventor of the web from a man who inconveniently shares his name with the inventor of the web and makes him start with a railroad metaphor? The New York Times, which today published a piece by Tim Berners-Lee doing just that.

Another entry for the "New York Times tech headlines that read like subtle spam titles" collection:

Is it the New York Times' new M.O. to quote everyone discussing their weaknesses? Must be, what with lines like this:

The New York Times documents the backlash against AOL's new interactive edition of Netscape.com in a story of dubious worth. Sure, a little ribbing's fine, but is it really news that the relaunch led by Weblogs, Inc. king Jason Calacanis caused a petition signed by under 2000 members? Not really.

As if the poorly received launch of its new blog didn't already make this a bad publicity day for Dell, the New York Times decided to check in on the beleagured computer maker. The Times opens with:

Look, this is only marginally related to technology. But seriously:

• New York-based e-mail startup Daily Candy gets a sweet deal: an investment valuing the company at $130 mil, which lets the company take down its "For Sale" sign and get back to the important business of making urban women feel inadequately shoed. [Gawker, link being fixed]

While the New York Times may not always think the best of the soon-to-retire Bill Gates, it was cruel to remind him how he'll spend the rest of his life.

Forgive me for ragging on the New York Times for bringing back the classic Valleyspeak term "eyeballs." They didn't think up this article idea — they read it in the news.

New York Times, 28 May 2006, on saving the democratic medium of the Internet:

Hey, Valley journalists! Getting booted from the Wall Street Journal? Dropped from Wired News? A tipster hands in this internal New York Times memo. (How to tell it's really the NYT? The link's broken.)