The American League of Lobbyists is changing its name. Seems that the word "lobbyist" has some negative connotations, in the minds of ignorant flyover state troglodytes and opportunistic media vultures. What shall we call lobbyists, in the future?

We will offer you a spoiler by revealing to you that yesterday, the American League of Lobbyists did in fact select its new name: the Association of Government Relations Professionals. You do not need a professional blogger to point out to you that that name sucks humongous balls. The title "Government Relations Professional" hardly encompasses the fast-paced and dynamic activities of a DC lobbyist. Please, help these beleaguered professionals find something better!

New words for "lobbyists"

-Lobbypersons

-Corporate tax code change interventionists

-"Daddy" (to be used by members of Congress only)

-"Look, I Lobby For The Sierra Club, Okay? I Fucking Save Rivers And Shit. We're Not All Scumbags, You Know?" Guys

-Scumbags

Further suggestions go in the discussion section below... for a moderate donation.

[Photo of American League of Lobbyists President Monte Ward: Shutterstock]