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• Lindsay Lohan says she feels "scared" and "violated" after the break-in at her LA home last weekend. (We're guessing that's the same way Sam Ronson feels when she comes home to find LiLo waiting for her in the bushes, but what do we know?) In related news, though, Lohan's neighbors are now hoping she'll pick a new neighborhood to terrorize. [Sun, NYDN]
• Things don't always go Anna Wintour's way. When she headed to dinner after her David Letterman taping the other night, the poor editrix had to wait 20 minutes for her boyfriend, Shelby Bryan, to show up. And then the restaurant had the nerve to try and seat them at a non-private table. The indignity! [P6]
• Chelsea Handler has dumped her boyfriend, Ted Harbert. Making matters a little awkward: Harbert runs E!, which means her ex is still her boss. [NYDN]
• Cindy Crawford is coming clean about a deep, dark secret. She says that although you might have thought she had a perfect body, she really does have a bit of cellulite. Guess you'll have to focus on her inner beauty instead. [Star]

• A judge sentenced Chris Brown to five years of probation, 180 days of community labor and a year of mandatory domestic violence counseling for beating up Rihanna back in February. [TMZ, NYDN]
• Danielle Staub of the Real Housewives of New Jersey needs a photographer to take her photo for her forthcoming memoir. Do not assume, however, that she is willing to pay for his service, okay? [NYDN]
• Speaking of Real Housewives, Kelly Bensimon has a new collection of ugly jewelry to sell you, if you're interested. [People]
• Sean Stewart has fallen off the wagon. The three people who watched his short-lived reality show on A&E last year must be devastated. [P6]
• That voice you hear telling you to turn left may soon be Bob Dylan's. He says he may lend his voice to a satellite navigation system in the future. [NYT]
• The Quest 400, that totally irrelevant register of high society, has dropped Walter Noel this year. But daughter Marisa Noel has survived. [P6]
• Ed Westwick gets kissy-kissy with another guy on the new season of Gossip Girl, for your information. [NYDN]
• Martina Navratilova's new girlfriend has an, um, interesting past. [P6]
• Rosemary Port, the blogger who called lawsuit-happy ex-model Liskula Cohen a "skank," is sorry. But she has no plans to say it publicly. [NYDN]
• Kate Gosselin is "lonely." Keep it in mind, gentlemen. [People]