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• The Letterman mess rolls on. The Late Show host issued another apology on his show last night, describing how the scandal has impacted his wife, Regina Lasko ("She's been horribly hurt by my behavior"), and kindly pointing out that he's not having sex with any of his current staffers. Meanwhile, Stephanie Birkitt, the woman at the center of the "scandal," supposedly wrote in her diary that she was dating alleged extortionist Robert "Joe" Halderman and sleeping with Letterman as recently as last fall, leading Halderman to flip out when he read her diary in December. [NYP, NYDN]
• So are Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem engaged? While Cruz's rep went with "no comment," Bardem's flack said, "I really don't know, but would not be able to say anything even if I did." That sounds like a "yes" to us! [People]
• Celebrity chef Todd English skipped out of his wedding at the last minute this past weekend. His jilted bride went ahead with the party anyway, while English headed to South Beach to hit the bars and clubs. Classy. [P6]
• Heidi Klum has filed documents to change her name to "Heidi Samuel," since that's Seal's last name. Please update your address book accordingly. [TMZ]

• Attention Lower East Siders: Lady Gaga is reportedly filming a scene for Gossip Girl on the Lower East Side today. [NYDN]
• Justin Timberlake is totally single, at least according to his grandmother and a British tabloid: "Jessica [Biel] was keen to marry, but Justin isn't ready... As far as we're concerned, he's always been single." But when was the last time you heard an American use the word "keen"? [Daily Mail]
• Beyoncé's father, Mathew Knowles, is facing a paternity lawsuit from an actress named Alexsandra Wright. She's six months pregnant; he's been married for 29 years. [TMZ, NYDN]
• The man accused of spying on ESPN's Erin Andrews was released from jail yesterday after posting $4,500 bail. He'll now be confined at home and have to do without the Internet for two weeks, the poor thing. [TMZ]
• A burlesque performer from The Box stirred up some drama at Simon Cowell's over-the-top birthday in London over the weekend. He went into the crowd, "grabbed Kate [Moss], picked her up and started twirling her around." Unfortunately, this didn't go over well with her boyfriend, Jamie Hince, who started shouting at her after it was over. Oh, the passion! [P6]
• First Jessica Simpson lost her maltipoo. Now the same thing has happened to Melrose Place's Brooke Burns. So clearly this has turned into an epidemic, hasn't it? [People]
• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are in Boston at the moment so that Tom can film the movie Wichita. And the locals are thrilled! "People are more interested in the Red Sox than Tom Cruise," says one local. [MSNBC]
• Backstreet Boy Brian Littrell reports he has the swine flu and the group will have to cancel a number of their appearances. Yes, it seems the Backstreet Boys are still performing, in case you weren't aware. [Us]
• Nicole Richie's car was rear-ended by a paparazzo in Beverly Hills yesterday. But don't panic. She wasn't seriously injured. [People]
• Levi Johnston, Bristol Palin's baby daddy, can now be seen in a commercial for Wonderful Pistachios. Other "high-profile" celebs taking part in the campaign include former America's Next Top Model's Adrianne Curry, Jackass' Wee-Man, and former Miss South Carolina Teen USA. [NYDN]
• Claudia Schiffer says she's retiring from the runway. But she plans to continue to modeling. Whatever that means. [The Sun]
• Greg Norman and Chris Evert—who left their longtime spouses to be together—are separating after just 15 months of marriage. In June 2008, Evert told People, "Both of us have lived long enough to know what we're doing." Apparently not. [P6]
• Jon Gosselin is talking. We're not listening. But feel free to click through to read about today's Gosselin-related drama anyway. [Us, People]