Emmys Red Carpet: These People's Outfits Cost More Than Your House
Welcome to the Emmy Awards red carpet, where the stars of the small screen strut in clothes that cost more than your car does, and jewelry that costs more than your house. Let's see how they looked.
January Jones' dress comes from an episode of Project Runway where everyone makes outfits out of Dixie cups. Her designer ran out of time, so they skipped doing her hair.
Tina Fey's dress actually says "Fuck you" in hieroglyphics.
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Jimmy Fallon's wife Nancy Juvonen matches her dress to all the starlets' skin.
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Is Lea Michele's head actually bigger than her waist?
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As the herd of women descended, Jennifer Westfeldt tightened her grip on her much-desired boyfriend, Jon Hamm.
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Mindy Kaling's hair is still askew from riding in on a broomstick.
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If Elisabeth Moss gets tired, she can take a nap on the airplane pillow sewn into her dress.
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"Yeah, it's ridiculous, but you know what? I'm Joan fucking Holloway. Bow down."
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Anna Paquin will be so embarrassed when she realizes her skirt got tucked into her panties.
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Poor Toni Collette had to wade through a marsh to get here.
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Julie Bowen silently curses the outrageously sexy costar she is constantly forced to stand next to.
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Rita Wilson's dress is a catch-22 of fashion functionality: When she walks, the crystals on her shoes bangs against her toes, but sitting is no better, because she'll get stabbed in the butt.
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Glee's Naya Rivera will be shooting her stylist after the show.
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Naya's outfit is so ugly, it made Modern Family's Eric Stonestreet cry.
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Betty White takes fashion cues from rainbow sherbet.
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Jewel is no longer the most famous woman from Alaska. She's compensating by becoming its most ornately clothed one.
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Jealous of how much skin his wife is showing, Seal unbuttons his shirt.
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The "Elaine from Seinfeld" look is supposedly "in," but Julia Louis-Dreyfus is having none of it.
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"Old Hollywood, get it? Because this old lady is the whole reason I even have a Hollywood career."
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Neil Patrick Harris has a chest of piano keys.
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As the only Asian female in the cast of her Emmy-nominated TV show, Jenna Ushkowitz's contract specifies she must dress like a member of the Joy Luck Club at major events.
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Eva la Rue's dress was too small, so she greased herself up and slid right in. Then she cut holes in it for extra ventilation, because who wants to be greasy underneath something that doesn't breathe?
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Glenn Close is smuggling a handle of whiskey in her skirt.
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Claire Danes' dress weighs more than she does.
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Olivia Munn matches the drapes (of her dress) to the carpet.
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This is the most clothing Kim Kardashian has ever worn all at once. I almost didn't recognize her without her signature skin-tight look.
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I wonder if Tony Parker gets a crick in his neck after posing for pictures all night with wife Eva Longoria.
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Jayma Mays is Valley of the Dolls from the neck up, Ursula the Sexy Sea Witch from the neck down.
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Everyone says Jane Lynch is going to win tonight for Outstanding Accomplishment in Yelling at Teenage Girls in Short Skirts. She changed out of her track suit for the occasion.
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Emily Blunt was eating popcorn on the way over, and spilled half the bucket down the front of her dress.
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Modern Family's Sarah Hyland stopped by on her way to Princess Diana's wedding.
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Mariska Hargitay stopped by on her way to her own wedding.
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Lauren Graham is a slutty domino.
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Dianna Agron is a Goya painting come to life.
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Kristen Wiig came dressed as a terrible monster with the skin of a snake and the wings of a crow.
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Matching mommy-and-me outfits go out of style at the age of 5, then come back into style when you're a big star and everyone goes "Awww" when you're nice to your mom.
Holy crap, Kate Gosselin looks hot. Apocalypse starts now.
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Amy Poehler is frostier than Ryan Seacrest's hair.
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Wanda Sykes is the color of a fancy credit card.
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Before he played a chronic nerd on Glee, Kevin McHale was a boy bander with pierced ears and sexy moves. When it comes to typecasting, turns out eyeglasses override pierced ears.
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Emily Deschanel: Pretty purple jellyfish.
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Katrina Bowden concurs: Purple jellyfish are "in" for fall.
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Kyra Sedgwick accessorizes her purple jellyfish with a seabreeze-styled mane.
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Kelly Osbourne has finally ditched her little old lady hair, and is now doing the Marilyn.
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