You can't have a hamburger without a side of fries. Heck, French fries are sometimes a meal unto themselves, but either way there's no getting around the fact that they're unhealthy. Here's a ranking of the worst offenders in America.

The Daily Beast visited 36 "popular" restaurant chains (even though I had never heard of some of them), and came up with the 30 most deadly French fry dishes in the country. The winner was Chili's Texas Cheese Fries with Chili and Jalapeno, which has 2,070 calories and 64 grams of fat. (A healthy adult is only supposed to eat 2,000 calories in a day!) The second-place dish wasn't even close. Friendly's Loaded Waffle Fries only have 1,650 calories, and the third place "winner"—the Garlic Fries Appetizer at Old Spaghetti Factory—has a mere 1,410 calories. Wait, that's only the "appetizer?" What are you supposed to have for dinner? A stick of lard with ranch dressing sauce and a side of sauteed beef fat and bacon crumbles?

Those foodies over at the Beast analyzed each dish based on calories, saturated fat, carbs, and sodium content, and most of the things on the list are fried potatoes that have been smothered in radioactive orange fake cheese, chili, and other condiments. The normal, everyday fries you'd typically order don't seem to be that bad for you, at least in comparison. The first regular item on the list is also the last entry, Burger King's unadorned "large fries" with 540 calories. McDonald's fries, the gold standard of fast food frites, ranked "well under the top 30." Compared to these others, they're practically health food!

[Image via Andrey Armyagov/Shutterstock]