Lady Gaga's "retarded" gaffe was "furiously unintentional." Jerry Seinfeld gets in a pissing match with Donald Trump. Lauren Bush wants to take fiance David Lauren's last name. Thursday gossip has regrets.

  • Lady Gaga has apologized calling those who call her a Madonna rip-off "retarded": "I consider it part of my life's work and music to push the boundaries of love and acceptance. My apologies for not speaking thoughtfully. To anyone that was hurt, please know that it was furiously unintentional. An honest mistake, requires honesty to make." Furiously unintentional! Madonna should steal that phrase. Barring that, Sarah Palin, if she were capable of feeling remorse. [Perez Hilton, image via Getty]
  • John Travolta was supposed to be a character witness at "gay Bernie Madoff" Lee Farkas' trial for defrauding clients of $1.9 billion. Travolta got out of it, though. Not the first time he's wriggled out of a gay mess. [Enquirer]
  • Donald Trump sent one of his signature rage letters to Jerry Seinfeld, who cancelled an appearance at Trump progeny Eric Trump's charity. "You should be ashamed of yourself," wrote a man whose political viability correlates directly with his willingness to pander to a viciously xenophobic myth. [P6]
  • When she marries Ralph Lauren's son, Lauren Bush thinks she'll change her name to Lauren Bush-Lauren, allowing her to join the elite Blue Bloods with Pornographic Names club. Bunny Mellon is the president; Plum Sykes is treasurer. The "American Princess" explains: "I think it's nice to have the same name as your husband. I am sort of old-fashioned in that way." [Bazaar]
  • Taylor Swift bought a "small, charming" house in Beverly Hills for an estimated $3 million or $4 million dollars. "Her main home will still be in Nashville," because do you any idea how much further $4M goes in that town? [P6]
  • Every time Emma Watson said something smart in class at Brown, someone would shout, "Three points for Gryffindor!" That must have gotten old fast. [NYDN]
  • Lynne Spears is a zit cream saleslady. Wasn't Britney a spokeswoman for Proactiv at some point? The Spears family coat of arms is an image of a zit, popping. [TMZ]
  • A celebrity sighting that tells you everything you need to know about that person: James Franco, "hot and homeless-looking," discussing his umpteenth educational pursuit (apparently at RISD?) in a "shoebox-size" eatery where everyone was forced to listen to him. [P6]
  • In rehab, Demi Lovato found out she is bipolar: "Looking back it makes sense. There were times when I was so manic, I was writing seven songs in one night and I'd be up until 5:30 in the morning." Maybe why she tweeted about Catherine Zeta-Jones the other day? [People, @DDLovato]
  • Anaheim police are investigating death threats on Rebecca Black. This is the perfect opportunity for Mariska Hargitay to recite, "Tomorrow is Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards" in her serious-sensitive Olivia Benson voice. [Radar]