You know why Mitt Romney will win the Republican nomination for president? Because he has the most money, the end.

Fairest Mittens raised over $18 millon for his campaign in the second quarter this year, putting him well beyond the other candidates. Romney supporters have also set up a Super PAC, the 2012 election cycle's equivalent of a girlfriend on the side, which raised an additional $12 million. Put those two figures together, and you'll find that Mitt Romney has a full $200 trillion to work with.

What about the other cartoon characters in this jumble, and their money?

  • Tim Pawlenty raised $4.2 million in the second quarter, a sad number for a sad person.
  • Jon Huntsman raised $4.1 million, a big chunk of which came from his personal bank account.
  • Newt Gingrich raised "approximately $2 million," we're guessing from coordinated joke donations designed to keep the funny alive for another month or so? His campaign has a meager $225,000 on hand and $1 million in debt.
  • Michele Bachmann has yet to disclose her Q2 haul, but she's probably somewhere between Romney and these other lunatics.

It seems like many of our rich Republican overlords are still sitting on their cash. There are just too many good candidates to pick from! Is it that, or something else?

[Image via AP]