Megan Fox reassures the world that she is neither robot nor android. Underlings must "turn their faces to a wall" when Madonna walks by. Jane Lynch started smoking at the age of 12. Demi Moore tweets a "topless" picture. Tuesday gossip is practicing human emotions.

  • Gone are the days when Megan Fox brashly discussed her "powerful, confident vagina" in interviews. Now, as the pneumatic Miss Fox chases the holy grail of career choices that "make me seem human," she becomes a self-doubting mess when tape recorders are present. "I just think the media, in general, I just don't really get portrayed as someone who has feelings or who is sympathetic. Or I sort of am portrayed as this—I feel—like a self-absorbed ice queen. Maybe…. But, you know, I care about people. I care about my life and I love people. I'm not this robot. I feel people think I'm almost like a robot—like an android." She wants to see Transformers, but is afraid people will see her at the theater and make fun of her. She wants to be in ensemble movies because they "feel safer." Even though Shia LaBeouf talked so much trash on her, "I love him unconditionally." She fears controversial topics because "I used to have a lot of fun in interviews—I'd be playful, I'd be sarcastic. But there's too much room for someone to take what I was saying and cut it up, rearrange it, and throw it on Extra. It's insane. You have to be really strong. You have to just shut yourself off to the criticism at some point." The sexbot has become self-aware. Flee, before it self destructs. [Moviefone, Image via Getty]
  • Speaking of which, here's an interview where a worried-looking Fox asks the reporter, "Are you one of the nice ones?" Her speaking voice is exactly the same as Kim Kardashian's. [THR]
  • Volunteers at the Toronto film festival are "asked to turn their faces to a wall" when Madonna walks by. [Globe&Mail]
  • At the age of 12, Jane Lynch snuck booze and half-smoked cigarettes from her parents. "My dad caught me lighting up outside… I overheard him proudly telling my mom in the kitchen, 'She's out there smoking like a pro.'" On her personal style: "I have a skinny neck and a little head and a big ass. It's hard to dress that." [Advocate]
  • Neon Indian musician Alan Palomo tried to bash Coldplay in an interview, but ended up choking on a piece of kale. Starting to think Gwyneth Paltrow really does have mystic power. [Vulture]
  • When Alec Baldwin's young-enough-to-be-his-daughter yoga instructor girlfriend met him, she had only seen "one episode of 30 Rock on my laptop, and I'd seen Working Girl." Best to never speak of the live-action Cat in the Hat. [Daily]

Paris Hilton was at the Miss Ukraine pageant when an activist ran up and disrobed. Revealing nipples to cameramen makes sense to Paris; having a purpose (FEMEN protests Miss Ukraine as a "meat market for oligarchs") is the confusing part. [AnimalNY]

  • Joan Collins is a massive bitch. On Carey Mulligan: "I can't believe she's playing Eliza Doolittle.' On Kate Winslet: "Oh, that's a dreadful dress. The worst dress. And ghastly shoes and an awful hairstyle." On Keira Knightley: "Well, she's thin." She thinks immigrants are causing all of England's woes, particularly the ones who are not Christian and have terroristic tendencies: "In Birmingham last Christmas, I said to my driver, ‘Why are there no decorations?' I had just come back from New York where every street is festooned with decorations. And he said, ‘Well, we have a lot of people here whom it offends on religious grounds.' But I'm not saying any more than that. I don't want petrol bombs being thrown through my window." Oh, Joan. If you'd left it at actress-bitching, we'd think you were a fabulous bitch. But then you got to the xenophobia, and everyone realized you're just a bitch-bitch. [Telegraph]
  • Kat Von D is so stressed, her hair is falling out in clumps and she has to wear wigs. Might be because of "all the treatments she does" to it, though. [Radar]
  • When Armie Hammer speaks to "firecracker of a wife," "Texas-born TV journalist Elizabeth Chambers," he greets her "Hi, sweet wife," and "Hi, perfect soulmate." [Details]

Demi Moore tweeted a "topless" picture, but not the boobs, just her back in a bathroom mirror. Most attention-seeking A-list 48-year-old ever. [P6]

  • A crazy stalker-type person self-published a book about Jessica Simpson called "The True Story of Jessica Ann Simpson's 22 month long attempt to seduce a married man- her very Active Super Secret Sex life: True Story Jessica Simpson Seduction of A Married Man (Volume 1)" He wrote it to "heal emotionally from the severe trauma and pain" of his unrequited love for Jessica. You can buy it for $29.99 on Amazon. [TMZ]