Malepocalypse Now: If Women Wear Axe, Is Everyone Gay?
The American Man has, in recent history, been beset on all side by feminizing influences: Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Spanx for Men, fancy shampoo... where does it end?
It ends, as the world will, in a fiery pool of Axe Body Spray, the official scent of the Malepocalypse. How bad has The Axe Problem gotten? So bad that it's now going to infest your girlfriend, too. The NYT reports that the nasty spraycan smell company is launching "Anarchy," a scent for women. This is a step towards equality, according to some ad agency dude who expects you to believe this shit: "Before, an Axe commercial was always about a guy spraying himself and a girl being attracted, and Axe giving him an edge in the mating game, whereas now women also have something to spray on themselves, and consequently there's more of an equilibrium between the sexes."
I always thought that the advantage that Axe provided to women was to clearly mark off men who were guaranteed to be bad in bed. In this newly Chadded-out world in which even the fairer sex is expected to smell like the afterparty of a Mountain Dew commercial, everything is not so simple any longer.
As if women need some special smell to make dudes want to bone them. Give me a break brother. What is next, Weight Watchers... for men? AND, SCENE.
