• Madonna's trip to Israel is over. And it sounds like it was quite the party. Her entourage occupied a total of 11 suites and 25 hotel rooms; she brought her Italian chef with her as well as all her own exercise equipment aboard her private jet; and she received the sort of reception typically reserved for visiting presidents. Fun! [NYP]
• Michael Jackson's burial is finally scheduled to take placed today in Glendale, Calif. [MSNBC]
• DJ AM's burial took place in LA yesterday. Travis Barker, Scott Caan, DJ Jazzy Jeff, and members of Crazy Town turned up for the small service. In related news, although Goldstein didn't leave a will, he left behind about $1 million in assets. [Us, TMZ, People]
• The filming of the Sex and the City sequel has been getting a little chaotic, since fans have been turning up in droves at the locations. Fortunately, Sarah Jessica Parker and Chris Noth remain unarmed. And extra security has supposedly been hired. [NYDN]

Mad fans want a piece of Sarah Jessica Parker. Mad ladies want Jon Gosselin. And Ashley Dupre's mad at the haters. Rise and shine! Here's your Thursday morning Gossip Roundup!

Steven Spielberg walking in SoHo ... Sarah Jessica Parker leaving her West Village townhouse ... Alec Baldwin filming scenes for 30 Rock at Tao ... Michael Kors walking near Bryant Park ... Hugh Grant having dinner last night at the Standard Grill ... Rihanna eating lunch at Da Silvano with her assistant ... Taylor Momsen hailing a cab with her mom in the West Village ... Blake Lively and Chace Crawford filming scenes for Gossip Girl in the meatpacking district and Hilary Duff exiting her trailer nearby ... Kevin Federline leaving lunch at Cafe Metro with girlfriend Victoria Prince ... Jamie Spears walking in Midtown ... Nia Long talking on her phone outside her hotel ... America Ferrera shooting scenes for Ugly Betty in Times Square ... and Courtney Love shopping with a friend in SoHo.

And the trailer is really funny, but isn't that always the way. New Sensations' 30 Rock: A XXX Parody seems to get the comedy of our favorite sitcom, and the chick playing Tina Fey is pretty hot too!

Amy Sohn's new book sure does have some some hot dish: Sean Penn's bad in bed, Robert Downey Jr. cheats, and Kate Hudson is an evil bitch... in her mind. The celebs don't care, but the New York Post does!

• Alec Baldwin has put his longtime co-op in the Eldorado on Central Park West on the market for $8.9 million. He's reportedly thinking about trading it in for a four-bedroom apartment at the Dakota, which has been reduced from $24 million to $12.5 million over the past year. [NYP]
• Former GE CEO Jack Welch is in contract to buy a three-bedroom pad at One Beacon Court that's next door to the condo he already owns. The 2,669-square-foot space was most recently listed for $8.995 million. [NYP, BHS]
• New York Times columnist Paul Krugman and his wife, Robin Wells, have paid $1.7 million for former Times reporter Joseph B. Treaster's three-bedroom co-op at 110 Riverside Drive. Meanwhile, the couple is currently in contract to sell their former apartment, a one-bedroom at 304 West 89th Street that was most recently listed for $599,000. [NYO, Corcoran]

Hey remember a few months ago when Rush Limbaugh said he was moving out of the People's Republic of Manhattan because he was fed up with all the taxes and whatnot? Well, he's yet to leave our fair city!

Alessandra Ambrosio leaving Bar Pitti with daughter Anja Louise ... Penn Badgley talking on his cell phone in the Village ... Jessica Biel dropping off a package at a FedEx ... Beyonce leaving JFK ... Whitney Port eating lunch in the West Village ... Kathy Griffin leaving her hotel in Midtown ... Ashley Olsen walking downtown ... Heather Locklear arriving at JFK with boyfriend Jack Wagner ... Robert Pattinson getting in a taxi ... Kate Hudson leaving her West Village home with son Ryder ... Rihanna going to a Black Eyed Peas concert at The Griffin ... Alec Baldwin drinking coffee with a friend in Bridgehampton ... Sarah Jessica Parker eating breakfast at Morandi ... John Stamos wandering around ... Hugh Grant leaving a downtown restaurant with a "mystery woman" ... Jeff Goldblum and Rachel McAdams hanging out on the set of Morning Glory ... Gerard Butler walking around ... Nick Jonas arriving at LaGuardia ... and Jessica Simpson going to dinner at La Esquina.

• Rupert Murdoch's Centre Island estate is back on the market. The 11-bedroom Rosehearty mansion, which Murdoch and wife Wendi Deng pulled off the market last October, has been re-listed with Dolly Lenz for $12.8 million. The five-acre estate isn't sitting empty while the couple wait for a buyer, though: As Newsday first reported back in April—and as this week's New York confirms—Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are renting it for more than $100,000 a month. [NYM, PDE]
• Norman Reedus—the actor, model, and father of Helena Christensen's son Mingus—has paid $1.75 million for a two-bedroom loft in the Machinery Exchange building at 136 Baxter St. [Cityfile]
• Julia Roberts is renting two apartments at 1 Morton Square this summer while she's in NYC to film Eat, Pray, Love. She's reportedly paying a combined $50,000-a-month for the two pads, one of which is for her nanny and staff. [P6]

• Presumably this is what happens when you spend time hanging out with John Mayer: Dick Parsons (right), the former chairman and CEO of Time Warner and currently the chairman of the board of Citigroup, not only cheated on his wife of three decades with a "model-philanthropist" 29 years his junior, he fathered a child with her, too. [NYDN]
• Sean Penn and wife Robin Wright Penn may not be getting divorced after all. Weeks after filing for legal separation, Penn has withdrawn the motion, either because he only did it in a fit of anger, or because he got jealous after seeing Robin flirting with a handful of men at the Cannes Film Festival. [NYDN, P6]
• The "Real Housewives of New York" have all reportedly signed on for a third season and are expected to make upwards of $30,000 per episode. [MSNBC]

• Last week Bette Midler was handing out dating tips to Jennifer Aniston. This week she's rolling with 50 Cent. Not only have the two become "unlikely best friends," but Bette says 50 has "really made my life worth living," and has been by her side "through thick and thin." She'd even like to sing backup on one of his new songs, too. Also? She's totally lost it, clearly. [NYDN]
• Speaking of Aniston, she's supposedly taking a little break right now due to "exhaustion." [Sun]
• The woman accused of having an affair with Bruce Springsteen says her ex made the whole thing up so he'd get "big money" from the singer to stay quiet. [People]
• Hilary Rhoda is reportedly dating Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez. [P6]
• Amy Winehouse was reportedly hospitalized for the third time in as many months on Tuesday, although she's since been released. [Mirror]

• Alex Rodriguez has a new, more age-appropriate celeb to spend his lonely nights with. The Yankee was spotted with Kate Hudson at a UES restaurant and outside 15 Central Park West, the apartment building where he rents. And they seem happy, too, which may be because she doesn't force him to wake up early on Saturday mornings to attend Kabbalah classes. [P6]
• Scarlett Johansson and Gwyneth Paltrow are reportedly butting heads on the set of Iron Man 2. Gwynnie is supposedly mad that Scarlett's been "hogging the limelight" and demanding too much attention from the crew. [Sun]
• It looks like Mel Gibson's new girlfriend is pregnant, after all. [MSNBC, P6]
• Estée Lauder CEO William Lauder and his wife Karen have split up. [P6]
• Penelope Cruz missed a scheduled appearance with Harvey Weinstein in Cannes this week because of food poisoning, although Harvey says she's expected to recover in time for the premiere of their new movie tonight. [Us]

The Society of Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center hosted its second annual Spring Ball at the Plaza on Tuesday night. More than 350 people turned out for the NBC Universal-sponsored event, including NBC Universal president Jeff Zucker and his wife Caryn (left), Mort Zuckerman, Robert De Niro and Grace Hightower, Julia and David Koch, Tory Burch and Lyor Cohen, Hilary Geary and Wilbur Ross, Jonathan and Somers White Farkas, Shoshanna Lonstein Gruss, Peter and Jamee Gregory, Ginny and Tiki Barber, Sherman and Chris Meloni, Frank and Kathie Lee Gifford, Hoda Kotb, Peggy Siegal, Natalie Morales, Valesca Guerrand Hermes, Jennifer Creel, Renee Rockefeller, Alexandra Lebenthal and Jay Diamond, Danielle Ganek, Kimberly Kravis, Muffie Potter Aston, Hilary Gumbel, Dr. Harold Varmus, Dennis Basso, Heather Mnuchin, Anne Grauso, Sylvester and Gillian Miniter, Gigi Mortimer, Sara Ayres, Shafi Roepers, Leslie Jones, and LL Cool J. [PMc, Wireimage, NYSD]

Today in his Huffington Post column, Alec Baldwin delivered an important lecture about how to practice good, proper journalism. First lesson: Don't mess with Alec Baldwin.

Alec Baldwin turns 51 today. Eddie Murphy is turning 48. Pop princess Leona Lewis is 24. Amanda Bynes is turning 23. 90210's Jennie Garth is 37. Mr. Las Vegas, Wayne Newton, is turning 67. Former ski champion Picabo Street is 38. Legendary actress Doris Day is turning 87. Actor David Hyde Pierce is 50. And Skid Row singer Sebastian Bach is 41. Weekend birthdays after the jump.

Judging from this emailed stalker sighting, Alec Baldwin is either not much of a fan of his movie Lymelife, or he really wanted to talk to Stylista winner Johhanna Cox about something:

Topshop hosted a private dinner at Balthazar last night to celebrate the opening of its new store in Soho. Attendees included Karolina Kurkova and Georgina Chapman (left), Harvey Weinstein, Jay-Z, Jimmy Fallon and Nancy Juvonen, Zach Braff, Amy Sacco, Mark Ronson, Ann Dexter-Jones, Annabelle Dexter-Jones, Andrew Saffir, Theodora Richards, Steve Stoute, Cathy Horyn, Stefano Tonchi, Sally Singer, Amy Astley, Eva Amurri, Greg K., Leigh Lezark, Jessica Joffe, Michelle Trachtenberg, Taylor Momsen, Le Call, Jonathan Saunders, Sue Stemp, Steven Kolb, Christopher Kane, Brent Bolthouse, Emily Mortimer, Emma Roberts, Cecilia Dean, Meredith Melling Burke, Nikolai Fraiture, Santigold, Steve Aoki, Benny Shabtai, Michelle Monaghan, and Topshop's very own Sir Philip Green, along with his wife Tina and daughter Chloe. [PMc, Wireimage, Getty, Paper]

Barry Diller riding his bike around town yesterday ... Rachel Weisz walking in the East Village ... Mario Batali hanging out with son Benno in the Village ... Dustin Hoffman and his daughter shopping in Soho ...Tobey Maguire pushing daughter Ruby in a stroller down Fifth Avenue ... Brad Pitt taking Pax and Maddox to lunch at Mars 2112 in Times Square ... Russell Brand shopping in SoHo ... Joshua Jackson and Diane Kruger walking downtown ... Hugh Jackman tossing around a ball in the Village ... Robert Redford and Sibylle Szaggars shopping on Madison Avenue ... Angelina Jolie shooting scenes for Salt outside St. Barth's Church on Park ... Fergie leaving a building in Midtown ... Taylor Momsen standing on the set of Gossip Girl ... Alec Baldwin leaving the Waverly Inn ... and Rihanna, Jay-Z, Beyonce and Brandy going to dinner at the Spotted Pig.

• If you're out shopping and you find yourself facing off against Kelly Killoren Bensimon for the last dress in your size, let her have it: The former model and Real Housewives star was arrested and charged with third-degree assault last week after punching her 30-year-old boyfriend in the face, leaving him with a "black eye and opening a blood-gushing gash on his left cheek." [NYP, NYDN]
• Poor Olivia Palermo says she's been misrepresented by MTV producers, since she's actually "a much nicer person in real life." Also? She's currently "vacationing in London with her model boyfriend," if you're interested. [People]
• How's this for a comeback: Rihanna and Chris Brown have reportedly been holed up in a studio working on a new track together for the past few days. [E!]

Why would Rihanna record a duet with her abusive boyfriend? Why would Marc Jacobs talk about his junk with Victoria Beckham? Did Quentin Tarantino just ask me for change? Tuesday is confusing.