We saw these new Apple ads on TV the other night. They're cute, and they've got that irritating/charming dorky kid who used to be on Ed, which is nice. They also have John Hodgman, which we suppose is nice, too. But we're trying to figure out: So the guy's a TV actor now, too? Huh.

• "His ability to remain totally upright when sprinting, as if carrying an invisible egg and spoon—what are these, if not the techniques of an alien life force who has just graduated summa cum laude in advanced human behavior?" Tom Cruise, watch out — the New Yorker is onto you, and Sy Hersh might be looking for a new beat. [NYer]
• Apple v. Apple, resolved: the Beatles' record label loses to Apple computers, meaning that we can all download the boys on iTunes with reckless, 99-cent abandon. [Variety]
• Glamour EIC Cindi Leive has been named the new prez of the American Society of Magazine Editors. Just another damn responsibility for her assistant. [FishbowlNY]
• 60 Minutes may get Anderson Cooper, but they only get him 5 times per year. He'll be filling Christine Amanpour's part-time position — what we lose in classy accents, we make up for in piercing pools of blue. [AP]
• Kaavya Viswanathan may have fucked up, but she's no James Frey. Give the girl a crackpipe, though, and anything's possible. [USA Today]
• New Jersey's new tourism slogan, "Come See For Yourself," is wisely abandoned. As it turns out, West Virginia is already using the catchphrase, along with the Dakotas and any other states no one would willingly see for themselves. [Adfreak]
• Behold the unimpressive aesthetics of the Art Rock show at Rockefeller Center. Glance now and save yourself the effort of going to the real thing. [Animal]
• Elle creative director Gilles Bensimon loses a 14-year-old beauty to a 17-year-old amateur. So, who's the young waif in question? And why is Gilles such a dirty old man? [Breakfast]

• Yahoo gets an NYT section cover story for, um, improving its ad program. Thrilling. [NYT]

You don't "sell out" to Apple; you "make art." John Hodgman (McSweeney's writer, Daily Show cast member and hobo namer) played the PC in those new "Get a Mac" ads. Thanks to everyone who wrote in saying "You mean you don't recognize him?"

• The new "Get a Mac" ads (pictured) starring a dorky office guy as a PC and a generic-Tobey-Maguire as a Mac? Pretty cute. So is that "new camera from Japan," anyone got her number? [Apple]

Round 2 of Snacky or Flacky, the week-long PR hottie face-off, (tourney brackets here) pits Apple's Tiffany Frye against NetApp's Jaime "Jinks" Le. Voting on this Ready! Set! Snack!

• Board-member-about-town Esther Dyson reminds you — personally — how much cooler her life is than yours. [EDyson on Flickr]

Three months after San Fran's Mac World Expo, there's finally evidence that women did attend. Codesignal.com interviewed them on camera. Amazingly, most of them weren't booth babes.

Steve Jobs slyly building up to his point, you've seen before. Applause and a grinning audience, you've seen that too. But the Apple CEO standing around, making awkward small talk with the Cupertino City Council like it's the end of an ill-advised one-night stand? That's new.

• Apple buys land for more offices in Cupertino (having outgrown the ones pictured). I really really hope there's a giant cube involved. [Reuters]

An Apple insider reports a cruel game of musical chairs at the iPod group. From now on, everyone gets just one rolling chair. The decision's retroactive — that's right, people are losing their office chairs to save Apple a buck (or satisfy some administrator's lust for power).

A reader sends in a purported e-mail exchange between Tony Brummel, head of indie label Victory Records, and Steve Jobs, God of iTunes. In these mails from last week, Tony (who a month back ripped iTunes apart) wants Steve to give Victory special treatment.

• You can't nab a two-, three-, or four-letter web domain. You can't register your first name. And everything sexy is taken. But if your company's named H43Qmxy, you're golden. [Domain name stats]

Steve Jobs promised to write the foreword for Steve Wozniak's autobiography. But Steve 1 welshed, telling his Apple co-founder he wouldn't write it after reading some of Steve 2's excerpts. What did Steve 1 read? Was Steve 2 too honest about the Steves' past interactions?

Apple has set an example for the tech world by apologizing to a nine-year-old girl.

Steve Wozniak reveals the brilliant insight that co-founder Steve Jobs brought to Apple:

BusinessWeek gives another thousand words to anyone who will preach the Gospel of Apple — this time in yet another "present the way Steve Jobs presents!" puff piece. Corporate presentation coach Carmine Gallo treads where so many have tread before, with five points from Sales 101:

¬ The Software 2006 Conference got all Web 2.0, with VC Ray Lane telling companies to go viral. An attendee puts it like this:

Apple's CEO doesn't need his own iPhoto scrapbook. The "Steve Jobs on Magazine Covers" page does well enough chronicling his life; after all, what minor event in Steve's life didn't merit another photo shoot for Fortune?

Wired News again goes for the quasisexual lead: