Lake Bell, ijustine, and Dave Days join Ashton Kutcher in this realistic TMZ spoof. In the video below, the crew harasses Harvey Levin and other the other people on the show that consistently films, harasses, and makes fun of celebrities.

You didn't think it possibly could be, but they've begun casting and there is some bad news. Also today: Get ready for a Coastguard adventure, a Nicole Richie wonderment, and a bachelorette party show that's sure to stun.

Aguilera was a sexy cop for Halloween. Paris Hilton and Rachel Zoe were sexy Native Americans. Fearing his client's impending death, Charlie Sheen's manager makes a home visit. Portia de Rossi once weighed 82 lbs. Monday's gossip roundup needs candy.

It just is. Deal with it. Also today: Yet another show ripped from the Twitter headlines, Kate Beckinsale continues her odd career, Johnny Galecki is moving into the big time, and Darren Aronofsky is moving out of it.

Ashton Kutcher on wife Demi: "A lot of times my wife and I sit across from each other and tweet… it's the same reason you send roses to a woman at work. Sometimes people like to be adored in public."

The recording industry's Chosen One questions the machine that created him. Ashton and Demi "share love" in Israel. George Michael gets out of prison. Crystal Bowersox weds in a hemp dress decorated with seashells. Monday gossip has doubts.

There's a rumor that "Justin Bieber", a Smith performance art major's well-received senior thesis, will host a rebooted version of MTV's hidden-camera series Punk'd. So he'll be the new Ashton Kutcher. Meaning he'll marry the new Demi Moore, Demi Moore.

Paris Hilton settles a lawsuit and makes history. Lindsay Lohan volunteers at a homeless shelter. Mariah Carey falls onstage at a concert. Lady Gaga dons a black leotard of mourning. Monday gossip is ready for its close-up.

Twitter god Ashton Kutcher might not be as influential online as you think, according to a new study by scientists from Northwestern University. Wait, we need scientists to tell us that Ashton Kutcher is a moron? Thanks, science!

Lindsay Lohan: Free again. How much does it cost to have the Situation hang out with you? Oksana and Mel exchange dueling extortion claims. But, seriously, guys. Lindsay Lohan's out of jail! Saturday Gossip Roundup can't believe it either.

Denied entry from Japan for being a cokehead, Paris Hilton tweets ominously. Nicole Richie has a bachelorette party in Mexico. Lindsay Lohan might be denied bail after her latest probation violation. Wednesday gossip terrorizes innocent women, children, and men.

Entertainment Tonight takes its reporting seriously—but hopefully no one else does! The producers pulled from Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore's past tweets, twitpics, facebook quotes, and personal messages to build their story. Watch the silly reporting inside.

This is schadenfreude at its finest! Check out this video of Demi Moore "dancing" on stage with Snoop Dogg and husband Ashton Kutcher, during a recent Las Vegas concert. If Moore had a day job, she should stick to it.

Have you heard about @whoisthebaldguy? He's this bald guy making a career out of getting celebrities to follow him on Twitter. Unfortunately, all he ever tweets about is getting celebrities to follow him, which makes following him really annoying.

Pop singer Britney Spears has surpassed actor Ashton Kutcher to become the most-followed user on Twitter. Both will likely surpass five million followers. For a fun challenge, call your grandparents and try to explain this news item to them. [Mashable]

Some say she was, others say she did herself in. What's the truth? Also today: James Franco heads to a comedy, a popular teen book from yesteryear becomes a movie, a new Daily Show?, and Ashton Kutcher.

[Day two of Kutcher Watch: The actor still films "Friends with Benefits" in LA; image via Bauer-Griffin]

[NatPo and AshKu film "Friends with Benefits" in LA; image via Bauer-Griffin]

Lindsay Lohan might go to jail for going to Cannes. Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp are either fighting or screwing. A fight rages for twitter domination. Peaces Geldof exposes herself again. Saturday Gossip Roundup is not making this up.

Within hours of confirmation of their relationships, the seeds of discontent were sown—or fertilized, in Kristen's womb. Sean Penn gets probation. Kendra sex tape screenshots. Heidi Montag held captive in her own home. Here's your Thursday gossip.