Aguilera was a sexy cop for Halloween. Paris Hilton and Rachel Zoe were sexy Native Americans. Fearing his client's impending death, Charlie Sheen's manager makes a home visit. Portia de Rossi once weighed 82 lbs. Monday's gossip roundup needs candy.

  • Christina Aguilera's post-divorce rumspringa continues: She went to the Pandora's Halloween party as a sexy police officer, and was uncharacteristically friendly to the paparazzi, blowing boozy kisses through the window. (Or maybe she was gulping for air, like a fish?) Paris Hilton, meanwhile, went as a half-naked Native American, probably as commentary on colonialist rape of the Americas back in the fifteenth century, I hear Paris is a New World history buff. Paris hosts a party every year, which she promptly ditches when the party at the Playboy Mansion heats up. She, sister Nicky (sexy superwoman), and mother Kathy (sexy cop) went together. Brandon Davis wore an orange jumpsuit labeled "Psych Ward" (Another Lindsay Lohan joke?) and Paris had a wardrobe malfunction. [X17Online, Popeater, images via Pacific Coast News]

Meanwhile, at Kate Hudson's party, Amanda Seyfried violated the laws of hot chicks on Halloween and wore a giant shaggy dog costume. Steve Tyler wore devil horns and Gwen Stefani had a mask. Rachel Zoe wore warpaint, a headband, peacock feathers, and a tomahawk (We told you not to do that!) and Nicole Richie was Margot Tenenbaum. [JJ, image via Pacific Coast News]

  • Heidi Montag went as Heidi Montag for Halloween. "I designed my own dress," she cooed. She also designed her own face, boobs, and plastic body. Asked about the state of her body dysmorphia, Montag replied, "Ups and downs! […] I'm just trying to focus on other things, not focus so much on my body," said the lady in a skin-tight lace teddy with a plunging neckline and a hem that falls no further than half an inch below her cooch. It's all very sad, actually. [Us]

Kim Kardashian went as Little Red Riding Hood, thereby ending the Slutty Sophie's Choice that plagued her all of Sunday. (She couldn't decide between Red Riding Hood and Sexy Pirate.) And Heidi Klum and Seal were a terrifying pair of killer robots, or something. [DailyMail, Styleite, image via Getty]

  • After promising to reunite with estranged oversharing husband David Arquette to take their daughter trick-or-treating, Courteney Cox gave an interview about her marriage: "This is not like we're getting divorced. This is a separation and I think that takes a lot of courage." [People]
  • Lily Allen had a second miscarriage this weekend. After opening up about her first devastating miscarriage, Lily announced her second pregnancy mere weeks ago. The baby would have been due in January. [People]
  • Charlie Sheen's manager denies the rumor that his cocaine-and-hookers rampaging client is going to "die this week." He wrote this email to Sheen's publicist:

  • Stan,

  • I went over to Charlies house earlier today because I was worried after reading Radaronline. Complete bullshit fabricated lies!!! Charlie was alone watching Brett Farve getting beat up by New England. He looked at me like I was nuts for coming into his house. "Dude, you could have knocked" he said. Charlie is fine and will be at work on tuesday ... Happy Halloween.

  • Mark

  • Revelations: (1.) Charlie Sheen's manager gets his Charlie Sheen news from the tabloids, just like us; (2.) Until he witnesses the contrary, Charlie Sheen's manager believes the Charlie Sheen news he reads in the tabloids, just like us; (3.) Someone in Charlie Sheen's camp cared enough to leak this email; (4.) Nobody can spell "Favre." [Popeater]
  • Jessica Simpson isn't pregnant, y'all. [Popeater]
  • O.G. 90210 star Ian Ziering's wife Erin, however, is. Mazel tov! [People]
  • Portia DeGeneres (née de Rossi) taped an interview for today's Oprah show where she opens up about her Ally McBeal-era anorexia: "I definitely had some pretty amazing willpower to get down to 82 pounds. And that's what I was holding onto. I didn't think about anything else." Crikey. At one point, she consumed no more than 300 calories a day. Now she's written about memoir about it, Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain. I can't believe nobody's used that title for their anorexia memoirs before. [Popeater]

  • Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore had a romance of the tacos: "They had a few rounds of tacos, guacamole and orange agua frescas. Ashton's arm was around Demi a lot of the time." Great, now I'm hungry. For love? [P6]

Project Runway villain-turned-winner Gretchen Whatever-Her-Last-Name-Is was Amelia Earhart for Halloween. Grrr! Gretchen! Go get lost in the Bermuda Triangle, your triumph was stolen and your clothes are ugly. #TeamMondo [Starcasm, image via Getty]