The new Ashton Kutcher-produced game show Opportunity Knocks is designed to quiz family members on just how much they know about each other, rewarding kin who can accurately answer the question, "How many vodka gimlets did Grandma down before NCIS came on tonight?" Kutcher's own family is a notoriously blended one, as his wife is Hollywood cougar queen Demi Moore, whose marriage with Bruce Willis bequeathed to Kutcher three daughters: Rumer, Scout, and...uh, the other one. In fact, it's that last, elusive Willis daughter who got Kutcher into trouble with the New York Times when he was quizzed about how well he knew his own family:

Cougarfornication. Well, this should go well: "David Duchovny, Demi Moore and Amber Heard will form the perfect family in 'The Joneses,' a social commentary with comedic elements." We'd suggest Ashton Kutcher will be a permanent presence on the set, but let's face it—Demi's too old for Duchovny. Which leaves Maxim Hot 100 #21 Heard most at risk. Also a possibility: Kutcher himself. He'd be the alcoholic's equivalent of chugging mouthwash—not ideal, but scratches the itch when there's no real hooch available. [THR]

Free to Good Home: IMDb yesterday uncorked about 6,000 movie and TV titles available for free viewing via Hulu, including recent episodes of The Office, 24 and Battlestar Galactica; site officials also noted that new episodes of some series — 30 Rock among them — will be available in advance of their airdates this fall. Not so with the site's full-length features, however, which, beyond classics like The Night of the Hunter and Some Like it Hot, include Dude, Where's My Car?, Liar Liar and The Scorpion King, finally testing the critical consensus that their makers can't give these films away. We shall see! [IMDb via NYT]

In a short interview for Yahoo, giggly Tech Ticker reporter Sarah Lacy gave model-turned-actor-turned-investor Ashton Kutcher a chance to let everyone know that he's not just a pretty face as a company founder, but "isn't getting much sleep" while managing every facet of his new startup, Blahgirls. This week he's been at the TechCrunch50 conference in San Francisco promoting his new celebrity gossip and humor site, where cheeky, animated teenage girls keep a blog and appear in two short videos a week — in the first batch, we meet the character Stewart, a fey online gossip who, purely coincidentally, has a pink fauxhawk. Full interview after the jump.

Ashton Kutcher is a tech entrepreneur now, have you heard? He's launched BlahGirls, an "animated celebrity gossip series." But he's not the only one! Other big-timersgetting in on the action include Damon Wayans and MC Hammer, who started DanceJam.com, the "largest dance floor on the planet." [BusinessWeek, NewTeeVee]

I thought Ashton Kutcher at TechCrunch50 was just some elaborate year-long Punk'd episode. Ooma? Blah Blah Girls? But it turns out it's actually just Michael Arrington's publicity bait! Well today's featured commenter, Rachel Marsden, shares with us a glimpse of her ass-kicking notoriety:

Ashton Kutcher, celebrated comic genius and grave robber, has his own celebrity gossip site now called Blahgirls (do you get it?). And it hurts one's face even more than A Lot Like Love. [Blah via Portfolio]

The New York Times and Los Angeles Times don't normally write about tech conferences. But if the host of MTV's Punk'd shows up to launch a cartoon site, so does the MSM. In a Q&A for the LA Times with former San Francisco Chronicle reporter Jessica Guynn, Kutcher explains his ties to Silicon Valley: "We have offices in L.A. and New York." (Photo by Andrew Mager)

Just how isolated are tech pundits like Robert Scoble from the real world? In a telling moment at a "VIP" party for TechCrunch50, Michael Arrington's startup conference taking place this week in San Francisco, an attendee tried to explain Scoble's notoriety to fading film star Demi Moore. Moore was on hand to promote her hubby Ashton Kutcher's new Web show Blah Girls. The actress, like most of America, had never heard of the ruddy, flaxen-haired Fast Company videoblogger. More surprising was Scoble's confession that he hadn't recognized Moore, either. Which makes me think of a new motto for the 250, Valleywag's term for the Valley's self-appointed, self-obsessed inside crowd: "You don't know us, and we don't know you." (Photos by AP/Evan Agostini and Shannon Clark)

• Katie Holmes got a visit from concerned ex-boyfriend and former Dawson's Creek co-star Joshua Jackson at rehearsals for her Broadway play, a British magazine reported. Jackson had this crazy idea that Holmes has been sucked into an isolating Scientology vortex, but Holmes was still thrilled to see and de-Thetanize him. [Showbiz Spy]

• More on NBC's decision to drop Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews from covering the election on MSNBC: Olbermann got a raise out of the deal, Matthews didn't, and NBC chief Jeff Immelt may or may not have be behind the move. [P6]

Ashton Kutcher, Margaret Killer? Make what you will of the news that playwright/filmmaker Kenneth Lonergan is rewriting an Ashton Kutcher comedy — on one hand Lonergan has Oscar nominations for both script-doctoring Gangs of New York and guiding his fussy You Can Count on Me through the indie trenches, while on the other we hear he's been cooped up in an editing room, fighting off Fox Searchlight for nearly two years over his troubled Anna Paquin/Matt Damon (among many others) drama Margaret. We'd like to think his taste will light the way on Like Father, which will star Kutcher as a man whose animosity toward his father abates as they "coincidentally" raise infant sons and "are forced to go through the fatherhood experience together." And maybe it'll be great, but we trust our first impression here more than we necessarily trust Lonergan: With work like this holding him over, don't be surprised if his own baby Margaret never sees the light of day. [Variety]

Ashton Kutcher broke a land speed record on the weekend as he left a Los Angeles area Kabbalah center. According to witnesses on the scene, Kutcher looked like a streak of white lightning as he jaywalked jayran across the street. Kutcher was apparently in a rush to get a white party, but the onlookers thought the My Boss's Daughter star should use his skills elsewhere. One witness said, "With the way that guy was running, you'd think he's the Flash or something. Maybe he should stop the acting thing and fight crime or try out for the Olympics. USA could clean up with that kind of speed."

As we’ve noted in the past, Stinky master of predicting the future of love sounds Justin Timberlake isn’t quite on the level of Richard Pryor or Lenny Bruce when it comes to comedy routines. After failing to elicit laughs at the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame earlier this year, and trying out the rarely-cute attempt to evade relationship questions on Leno, Timberlake is evidently still fixated on proving he’s just bursting with comedic prowess. His latest stunt? Impersonating Jessica Simpson at the Timberlake-hosted ESPYs, airing this Sunday, by wearing a cheap blonde wig, standing in front of a cut-out of her daisy dukes, and making frightening facial expressions supposedly meant to resemble the time-traveling Tony Romo groupie. The good news? Despite these photos doing little to inspire even a smirk from us, we feel the need to point out Timberlake’s impressively hilarious impersonations of the past on Saturday Night Live, both as a tweaked out awesomer-than-thou Ashton Kutcher, and a far better Jessica Simpson impression years before:

[Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin]

· OK, we think we can officially say we're excited about a new fall show: That would be Opportunity Knocks on ABC, Ashton Kutcher's contribution to the, "Hey—let's throw a block party game show!" genre. So much to love here, from the kid-sister diary hunt, to the whack-a-pottery challenge, to the identify-your -infant-brother's -screams quiz round. And just think how awesome it will be when they pack up the show and move it to the ghetto! [TV Week]
· Why yes, we do think we've seen this halo-effect used to great success on previous comedy one-sheets. [/Film]
· Jessica Alba radiates the unmistakable, bird-flipping glow of a woman nearing childbirth. [celebslam]
· An anonymous bidder paid $15 million for Takashi Murakami's jizz-vortex manga sculpture: someone who sounded a whooooole lot like Kanye West affecting a matronly British accent. [Gawker]
· Want to kill a few hours? Thighs Wide Shut collected the mother of all Indy ephemera link dumps, including a listing of every person ever really named Indiana Jones. (They were all born in the 19th century.) [thighswideshut.org]
· Stumble along with the ANTM finalists as they attempt to plug CoverGirl's new Blashtlashtlashblahsshsblashssplash! (Congratulations, Whitney.) [B-Side Blog]

We've already made our case for why the Wachowskis' overstuffed Gran Turismo-on-Salvia fever dream and Kutcher and Diaz's feature-length sexual-health instructional film will likely limp their way across the box office finish line this Monday. But that still leaves filmgoers with a taxing dilemma: Which of the two movies would they rather see less? Clocking in nearly neck-and-neck in their bottom-of-the-class Tomatometer scores, it's anyone's race. Perhaps mainstream film critics—and the pun-loving headline writers who really sell the bile—can help you decide:

Welcome back to Defamer Attractions, your weekly source of tips, hints and handicapping for the latest in moviegoing. Today we catch up with projections for the not-so-mystifyingly buzz-less Speed Racer, gauge Iron Man's potential for a second straight week at No. 1, survey the landscape for our favorite underdog on the scene (hint: She shoots a mean game of pool), and browse the DVD stacks for noteworthy new titles. As always, our opinions are our own, but they're also right — Wachowskis be damned.

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

You know what they say about hemlines and recessions? Well look no further than What Happens In Vegas co-stars Cameron Diaz and Lake Bell for optimism. At last night's premiere of their comedy, the two actresses seemed to be playing a game of Anything You Can Wear I Can Wear Shorter, alongside somber co-star Ashton Kutcher, who seemed to be playing a game of You Were Right, Demi. Without You I'm Boring And Cannot Dress Myself. Between the grieving Diaz and the toothy Bell, see who revealed more gam and why we're happy they did, after the jump.