Who would have thought two pop divas wouldn't be instant BFF?

Professor Scott Fahlman, a Carnegie Mellon computer scientist widely credited with creating the smiley emoticon, has spoken out against the graphic rendition of his beloved invention, calling it "ugly," and unimaginative.

Dee Snider of legendary heavy metal outfit Twisted Sister released a statement yesterday telling Paul Ryan's campaign to cease their use of his band's hit single "We're Not Gonna Take It."

In response to a recent declaration by hip hop artist Lil Wayne that he doesn't like New York, Malcolm Smith, a Democratic state Senator representing Queens, appeared before reporters in Times Square today to demand an apology.

Pop superstar Rihanna is curled up on a sundrenched yacht licking her wounds today after a weird German robot lashed out at her because he doesn't understand sexy things.

Everyone's childhood is currently going up in flames, as Raffi, the iconic Canadian ancestor of the modern-day Wiggle, is sort of losing it on Twitter.

Conservative fundraisers the Koch brothers don't make an appearance in political satire The Campaign, but the "Motch brothers" do.

After six months of an uneasy ceasefire, Sir Elton John last night fired shots at longtime scratching post Madonna during an interview on Australian television.

Justin Bieber, Zooey Deschanel, Kristen Stewart, James Van Der Beek, Snooki, and other celebs recite fairly nasty tweets about their lack of talent and/or unattractive appearance for a Jimmy Kimmel Live segment that should really be the whole show.

"Keep your life in a positive perspective. We are not defined by our pasts," socialite Kim Kardashian told her 15 million Twitter followers yesterday.

In a feature on Joseph Gordon-Levitt that appears in the latest issue of GQ (which the actor also covers), writer Amy Wallace ascribed the 2010 death of his older brother, fire spinner Burning Dan, to "an alleged drug overdose."

Much-loved Viacom shows such as The Daily Show, The Colbert Report, SpongeBob Squarepants, iCarly, and Jersey Shore can no longer be viewed online due to the company's ongoing dispute with DirecTV over carriage fees.

Sort of like the geriatric's version Chris Brown-Drake fight, but with less violence and no Tony Parker, Bob Dylan is beefing with historians at PBS over the whereabouts of the electric guitar he used at the 1965 Newport Folk Festival, where Dylan famously went "electric." Dylan claims he's still in possession of the Fender Stratocaster he used, but Dawn Peterson, the daughter of Victor Quinto, Dylan's pilot from the 1960s, says otherwise.

26 Viacom properties including Comedy Central, MTV, Nickelodeon, CMT, Logo, and BET, have gone dark for DirecTV's 20 million subscribers after both sides failed to reach an agreement over carriage fees.

Last week, after nearly a month of steadily intensifying drama, troll lawyer Charles Carreon withdrew his lawsuit against The Oatmeal creator Matthew Inman and retreated to his bridge, declaring victory as he slunk.

SoHo club Greenhouse has been closed since the June 14 bottle-throwing fight in its basement lounge, W.i.P. Brown. You know, the brawl Drake or Chris Brown or someone else entirely might have started.

On Saturday, Gawker writer Louis Peitzman haphazardly insinuated that a tweet from KTLA newsreader Sam Rubin was a bad practical joke, but it turned out that he was actually hacked, according to Rubin. He sent this email to Louis on Saturday night:

It's unclear what could have possessed KTLA Morning News entertainment reporter Sam Rubin to tweet "fake ass nigga" at rapper-producer Yung Berg. The offending tweet has been removed — although it stayed up for several hours before that — and Rubin is claiming he was hacked, but this story still doesn't make a lot of sense.

Just because there are no bottles flying in the air doesn't mean the fight between Chris Brown and Drake has settled down. Instead of a bar brawl, however, it's become a war of the words. (Looks like that boxing match is off the table.)

Celebrity Boxing promoter Damon Feldman — the self-proclaimed "WWE of boxing" — wants to see Chris Brown and Drake finish what they allegedly started at a New York nightclub two weeks ago with three minute-long rounds of prize fighting.