Hey, how about a totally unsubstantiated crazytown story, from the internet? It's about an advertising executive's penis! Oh, now you're interested. Well then, fine.

Uh-oh! Dilemma in Iraq: What should be done about the artifacts left behind by Saddam Hussein's regime? Such as, oh, I don't know, say, the 605-page Qur'an written in Saddam Hussein's blood?

Gay media watchdog GLAAD released its annual report about the number of gay characters on television. It turns out they're all on True Blood, which has the most 'mos of any show. Where else are the gays?

HBO has released a video of every single character that's been killed off of their show. From what I hear, this might be all of the best parts of True Blood in one video!

Rolling Stone has a cover story about HBO's vampire-sex show True Blood, and for the photo... well, they got stars Anna Paquin, Alexander Skarsgard and Stephen Moyer naked, and then... uh, they seem to have sprayed them with fake blood.

Colorado Rep. Jared Polis is a violent madman. Why is this demented photo of him smiling in the car with a bloody face on his Twitter?

Crazy ladies fear AIDS! Vuvuzela dangers! Tuberculosis rampant! Cell phone radiation! Skinny blood! Skinny sex! Sexy diets! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—while smearing ourselves with disinfectant!

A rainy spring in the northeast was "the perfect storm for mosquitoes," who breed in standing water left after rainstorms. Can't wait! To avoid painful mosquito bites, we recommend not having any blood in your body. [Fox]

In 1983, to keep HIV out of the blood supply, the Food and Drug Administration banned any man who had sex with another man after 1977 from donating blood. Next month they might finally strike the discriminatory law.

If one were to rank the most hardcore, insane sports in the world: Hunting humans would finish second, followed by extreme curling in a close third. Number one? Number one, with a bullet, is grenade ping-pong.

Yale art major Aliza Shvarts induced many throwups amongst people who read about her induced-abortion art project last year. But she also induced, uh, Yale not letting somebody have a blood drive, for art? Something something, "meaning." Yale!

A tipster pointed out that the scribe of today NY Post's puff piece on Stephen Moyers failed to disclose that she and the True Blood star have a child together. How does our tipster get this juicy info?

Hipster farmers are pussies. Yuppie foodies are embarrassing half-men. But butchers—so fucking hot, OMG. All the blood. All the meat. All the editing in the world can't conceal NYT reporter Kim Severson's butcher lust: