Last week, a rumor made the rounds in the Alaskan blogosphere: Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston were getting back together. They would announce their engagement, then they would wait a couple weeks—and then announce a reality show.

To celebrate, the starcrossed lovers of Wasilla are dressed like Jehovah's Witness proselytizers on the cover of Us. Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem got married in secret. Are Rihanna and Chris reuniting? Wednesday gossip has wedding fever.

Levi Johnston's campaign to get back into the Palins' good graces has taken a surprising turn: Following little sister Mercede's claim that Bristol Palin's pregnancy "was NOT an accident!" Levi apparently threatened to disown Mercede if she didn't shut up.

Our favorite non-pecker-showing Alaskan babydaddy Levi Johnston tells People that some of his claims about the Palin family last year were lies. "I publicly said things about the Palins that were not completely true," he says. What are those things?

I said Bristol Palin was bad when I posted the teaser for her The Secret Life of the American Teenager acting debut, but the full scene is even more excruciating. Palin is like a malfunctioning robot FROM HELL. Video inside.

Oh LAWD is this bad. Fresh off the press, here's Bristol Palin, making her acting debut on Secret Life of an American Teenager. Palin plays—shocker!—a teen mom, so you'd think she'd be convincing, right? Uh, nope. Video inside.

Levi Johnston has successfully marketed his "brand" after impregnating Bristol Palin. But what of his sister, Mercede, who impregnated no one? When will somebody pay her for being tangentially news-related? Soon, probably, now that she has a funny blog.

We were skeptical at first, but now Bristol Palin told Good Morning America "Levi and I are turning a new page here as co-parents...and putting aside the past." That's not an admission they're shacking up again, but it sounds close!

Our favorite almost-nude-posing babydaddy Levi Johnston and our least favorite teenage mom turned abstinence advocate Bristol Palin are supposedly a couple again. We're a little dubious, mostly because we want so much more for our beloved Levi. [Us, photo]

Bristol Palin spent time with Harper's Bazaar, telling the magazine she's a non-stop work machine. Or at least she is when not clubbing it up in New York, charging $30,000 for a speech, or posing for Harper's Bazaar.

Looking to add a little celebrity star power to your upcoming teen abstinence conference? Why settle for some preacher dork when you could have famous teen ma Bristol Palin as your headline speaker? For a modest fee.

It's how she celebrated the National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. Charlie Sheen's wife owns a sex swing. Kristen Stewart says she's not sulky. Meet LiLo's new best friend: Her 300-lb bodyguard. TGIFriday gossip.

Wintour goes nuclear on the dancefloor. Halle Berry calls her soon-to-be ex a "loser." Charlie Sheen hands over custody. Ke$ha ruins a bat mitzvah. Tiger Woods' butt sweats. Wednesday's gossip roundup likes to party.

The guy who hacked Sarah Palin's email is in court and could be in some pretty deep shit. Daughter Bristol took the stand yesterday to talk about Fox News and crazy Alaska boys and losing her cellphone. It's a tear-jerker.

Upset that Wisconsin high schools are teaching comprehensive sex ed to students, Juneau County District Attorney Scott Southworth says he will prosecute anyone who follows a state law that requires schools to teach students about contraception. Progressivism is destroying America!

America's most famous teenage mother has a new commercial denouncing pre-marital sex. The message of the spot is basically, "If Sarah Palin is not your mother, don't have a baby as a teen." There's also a Levi Johnston guest spot!

Sources say the star has made up her mind. Lindsay Lohan nonsensically addresses her white powder accident. Mischa Barton barfs. Levi Johnston is back for more. Michael Jackson wasn't dead at the hospital. Tuesday's gossip is alive. It's alive!

Fresh from shopping a TV show with Mark Burnett and flossing her star quality on Leno, Palin took her family to loot Hollywood's pre-Oscars gifting suites "like locusts," according to one traumatized witness.

Because all the slots for MTV's Teen Mom were taken, Levi Johnston's babymama Bristol Palin will act for the first time on ABC Family's pubescents and placentas drama The Secret Life of the American Teenager. Not type casting at all.

Remember when Sarah Palin went on Oprah and scoffed at Levi Johnston for getting paid for "pornography?" Well now she wants a piece of the action. The Palins have subpoenaed Playgirl for Levi's check stub.