Following in the footsteps of Lindsay Lohan, Paul Johnson-Calderon has reportedly filched someone else's stuff at a nightclub, only to be photographed in the act.

At fashion shows the world over, buyers and journalists are sending their regrets. There are fewer million- and billion-aire customers to invite. Time to pack the house with freeloaders and other undesirables!

Well, things sure came together for Nadya Suleman today: Octo-Mom suddenly has a big house for her 14 kids, around-the-clock child care valued at $135,000-per-month and she gets to keep her reality show.

Something is seriously wrong in the Nadya Suleman camp. Other than the income-less, second-parent-less and technically house-less 14 babies, we mean: Octo-Mom somehow just lost her second publicist in one month.

Sure the economic collapse is hurting jobless poors or whatever but you know what's really tragic? That celebrities no longer get offered quality swag, so they have to steal it. Take Kristian Laliberte.

First the New York Times and Wall Street Journal published the phone number for Obama hottie Jon Favreau. Now Extra fails to redact Chris Brown and Rihanna's phone numbers from a search warrant.

Bulgarian publication Стандарт — and who doesn't trust Стандарт? — ran this picture of Jean-Claude Van Damme at a "night party" in Sofia. Funny. A drunk Van Damme was once a terrifying prospect:

It's not that we don't sympathize with Ryan Seacrest. The Oscar red carpet is a relentless stream of thin-skinned celebrities. But the celebrity interviewer seemed especially cringe-inducing this year.

Kate Moss is not happy: Do Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, fashion nobodies, know how many fashion gods they pissed off by cutting the line at a fashion ball?

Because the Jackson Family's collective behavior apparently isn't bizarre enough on its own, Marlon Jackson is backing a slavery theme park and resort in Nigeria. Doesn't this sound fun:

Wow, Nadya Suleman really is radioactive: Yet another agency has distanced itself from the mother of 14. How is she going to sell her story now?

People like Nadya Suleman, the IVF junkie mother of 14, and Alfie Patten, the 13-year-old father from England, are getting famous just for reproducing. It's a pretty gross trend.

Oh look, Peaches Geldof just happened to bathe topless and to hold various awkward poses while a photographer snapped very clear pictures of her tattoos. The trainwreck hipster heiress must need money.

Lindsay Lohan's Valentine's Day got off to an awesome start at 1 AM Saturday: A fight on the streets of Nolita, trailed by paparazzi and a reporter for the New York Post.

More awful details about Chris Brown's alleged attack on Rihanna: Rihanna reportedly told police her boyfriend and fellow R&B star threatened her life, then choked her to unconsciousness.

This morning's report of the whole old guard Rob Shuter's return to OK! was wrong (though maybe just premature). He hasn't been hired back. Read on for where things stand now.

It's weird, isn't it, that the Obamas are still on celebrity mag covers? On this week's Us, there's Michelle and the kids, next to a little sidebar with "fat" Jessica Simpson and lonely Jennifer Aniston.

General manager Kent Brownridge is following editor Susan Toepfer out the door at celebrity magazine OK!. The publication's overlords are bringing back the old guard — including former celebrity flack Rob Shuter.

One of the nice thing about having a glamorous First Family is that it can provide cheap escapist entertainment amid a bleak economy and partisan political rancor.

It's no wonder this unreleased "Speedfit" workout video was banned from YouTube: It's as embarrassing as rumored and contains an incriminating recording of her business manager to boot.