Another day of Lindsay Lohan reckoning is nigh. Kim Kardashian's birthday cake will be encrusted in diamonds. The Sister Wives polygamists are actually kinda incestuous. Like, more than we realized the first time around. TGIFriday gossip.

Taylor Swift writes an angry song about an older man named John. Anne Hathaway "cried everyday" filming sex scenes with Jake Gyllenhaal. Christina Aguilera's inevitable lesbian divorce rumors arrive. Tuesday gossip sings for its supper.

Christina Aguilera liked to hook up with women while married to Jordan Bratman. Jon Gosselin wants his kids off TV. And exclusive Dina Lohan interview can be yours for just thousands of dollars. Saturday Gossip Roundup is a bottled genie.

A surprisingly detailed (but possibly fake) story about Kate marrying her rockstar boyfriend. Snooki plans her Halloween costume: A pickle. Christina Aguilera files for divorce. Jesse James and Kat Von D are on the rocks. TGIFriday gossip.

The "coke" was coca-cola, the goal was a vending machine, and she failed. Christina Aguilera confirms splitting with her husband. Rachel Zoe is pregnant. Joan Collins ridicules ugly starlets. Wednesday gossip would sell its first child for a soda.

This week's plague of celebrity break-ups continues with an Us Weekly report that Christina Aguilera and husband Jordan Bratman "have been separated for a few months." (Was this photograph staged, then?) The couple met in 2002 and married in 2005.

Paris Hilton settles a lawsuit and makes history. Lindsay Lohan volunteers at a homeless shelter. Mariah Carey falls onstage at a concert. Lady Gaga dons a black leotard of mourning. Monday gossip is ready for its close-up.

Denied entry from Japan for being a cokehead, Paris Hilton tweets ominously. Nicole Richie has a bachelorette party in Mexico. Lindsay Lohan might be denied bail after her latest probation violation. Wednesday gossip terrorizes innocent women, children, and men.

[Christina Aguilera and husband Jordan Bratman go for a cruise in their Ferrari in Beverly Hills. Image via INF.]

Kanye West's Twitter apology shocks a nation on vacation. Chelsea Clinton: smooching. Sam and Ronnie: Also smooching. Justin Bieber: dancing with Will Smith's son. Sunday Gossip Round up is like a flower petal caught in a wild stallion's mane.

Here's a trailer for Burlesque, the Christina Aguilera/Cher girl-with-big-city-and-bright-lights dreams movie that, to some, seemed like the advent of a new gay Christmas. Well, Christmas is canceled this year, kids.

After thirteen days of incarceration, Lindsay Lohan has been released. Justin Bieber is writing an "illustrated memoir." T.I. tied the knot, and so did James Van Der Beek. Monday gossip is free at last.

Christina Aguilera is the poor man's Lady Gaga. Jennifer Aniston was spotted with a mystery guy. The Situation gets a sweet deal. Now that their sport is cool, soccer stars are finally getting some. Sunday's Gossip roundup is no troll.

Ticket sales for all the concerts in the country combined has dropped to a new low, and many big-name acts are under-performing. How could this happen? Maybe because all the bands are old and no one wants to see them.

Christina Aguilera and Kim Kardashian are now friends. Lady Gaga loves Taylor Swift. Bam Margera battered by bat-bearing broad. Snooki: Small government advocate. Sunday's Gossip roundup is all about friendship and helping each other through difficult times.

January Jones' version of her strange car crash doesn't add up. Neither does Jodie Foster's version of her boy-hitting episode. Who's Tiger Woods' new blonde? Lady Gaga Sparks Mets Apology to Jerry Seinfeld. Saturday Gossip Roundup is an amateur detective.

[Christina Aguilera filmed a scene for her new Lifetime movie The Abduction of Chrissy A. in New York today. She was also on CBS' The Early Show. Image via INF]

[Christina Aguilera makes like a superhero with shiny underpants on the outside, at a performance for NBC's Today Show. Image via Splash.]

If you're a female celebrity and you haven't gone girl-on-girl before a crowd of roaring, adoring males, you're probably gay. Last night, Sandra kissed Scarlett as revenge on Jesse. How did lesbian kisses become the ultimate mainstream display of hetero-desirability?

Sandy surprised the men of Spike TV with her leather-clad presence last night. Christina Aguilera saves Robert Pattinson from a pack of feral paparazzi. Amy Winehouse's new boyfriend may already be cheating—with a stripper! Sunday gossip is saucy.