George Clooney says you shouldn't listen to those disgruntled waitresses; Courtney Cox isn't listening to the Brad Pitt haters and David Hasselhoff doesn't want anyone listening to his daughter and ex-wife.
• Madonna's adoption appeal was "adjourned indefinitely" by the chief justice of Malawi's Supreme Court yesterday. Fair enough. After all, would you let a woman dressed like this adopt your child? [Reuters]
• Gisele Bundchen was seen leaving an OB/GYN's office yesterday with Tom Brady, which may mean she's pregnant, or may mean nothing at all. [P6]
• Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard tied the knot in front of 40 guests in Italy on Saturday. [Us]
• Bebe Neuwirth is married, too. She married Destino vineyard founder Chris Calkins in a Buddhist/Christian ceremony at The Players Club on Gramercy Park. [P6]
• Rihanna has cancelled her comeback concert in the United Arab Emirates. The reason? "Poor timing," she says. [Sun]
• It wouldn't be fashion's biggest night without a bit of drama thrown in to spice things up. Naomi Campbell, Linda Evangelista, and Christy Turlington are reportedly skipping the Costume Institute gala this evening, possibly because Kate Moss was chosen to co-chair the event; meanwhile, Karl Lagerfeld, Azzedine Alaia, and Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana are all staying home, perhaps because Marc Jacobs has "commandeered the event" by buying two tables and dressing Moss, Madonna, and Kerry Washington. [P6]
• The Chelsea Clinton wedding rumors continue: The Boston Globe reports the former first daughter and Marc Mezvinsky may get hitched at Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen's home on Martha's Vineyard in August, which is when the Obamas will be in town, too. [BG, NYDN]
• Kelly Killoren Bensimon says picking on her has become "the new recession vocation." Sounds about right. [R&M]
Now that her messy, messy divorce from Knight Rider/Baywatch star David Hasselhoff is finally over, Pamela Bach is freely dishing about the poor man's troubles. And, really, it behooves us to read every last detail. In 2002, for example, Hasselhoff called Bach from a hotel one dark night. "I'm drunk and I think I'm dying," he said. Then the line went dead. Berlin's most beloved singer went into rehab after that, but it didn't stick. "'I called the clinic and discovered he had checked out. I knew I had to go to him. I chartered a private plane and flew from LA to Palm Springs.’ Pamela learned that David had been taken to a local hospital, but didn’t know which one. ‘I got into a taxi and went to every hospital until I found him.’ "She discovered later that he’d drunk the entire contents of the minibar and had been found by a maid, semi-conscious and half-naked on the floor. The police had been called. This sordid episode, like so many before, was covered up by Pamela and a team of minders." And, says Bach, don't buy it if the Hoff seems to have gotten his act together lately: "To the woman who recently divorced him... Hasselhoff’s image as a self-aware, post-modern celebrity is a sham. ‘David is a falling-down drunk and I covered up for him for years. Alcoholism destroys you whether you are a regular Joe or the biggest star on the planet.’" Dayum, lady. Get a blog! [Daily Mail]
America, let's face it: KITT from Knight Rider is kind of a bitch. Though he's a car designed for adventuring, KITT is also a big scold, always crying, "Do this!" "Do that!" "Miiiichael, the risk factor is too high!" It remains to be seen whether the Val Kilmer-voiced vehicle in tonight's Knight Rider reboot will prove less neurotic over time, but until then, we thought we'd take a trip down memory lane and give props to the "smart" cars we'd prefer to take a ride in. With the help of Molly McAleer, we've created this loving tribute to five of the best onscreen autos to ever rev their engines. Sorry, Herbie — better luck next time? [NBC]
· On America's Got Talent last night, David Hasselhoff was refreshingly candid about the stirrings in his loins elicited by Drag Britney. [AGT] · Step! Two, Three, Ball, Step, Ball, Reverse, Change! Watch out stars—Lance means business! [Mollygood] · In this new promotional shot from Land of the Lost, Will Ferrell stands next to the kind of Sleestak you might imagine posing for pictures at Disneyland. [First Showing] · Mmmm...Hannah Montana Sweet & Sour Gummi Cocks. [BWE.tv] · And last but not least, it's Paul Reubens's birthday today. In his honor, enjoy the entire Pee-wee's Playhouse Christmas Special. Happy birthday, Pee-wee! Mm...Birthday cakey. [YouTube, YouTube, YouTube, YouTube]
Celebrity power blogger David Hasselhoff could barely step away from his laptop at breakfast this morning. In between bites of strawberries and toast, Hasselhoff said, "Nobody takes a minute off on the internet. You have to be there every minute of the day looking and hunting for the next big story. So, you have to make it work for you and here I am with my laptop and my wireless card looking to break more stories before I finish my breakfast than Perez does in a week." The Hoff appeared to be unconcerned about the syrup he spilled on his laptop since it's still under warranty at the Apple store.
America's Got Talent judge David Hasselhoff got off to a rousing start of his second job, scaring tourists on London's South Bank. Hasseloff explained that he really isn't scaring the tourists as much as offering them a pleasant surprise and the opportunity to have their picture taken with a celebrity. Hasselhoff did admit that we were a rough patches in the beginning where he popped up from behind the embankment and there was nobody there. Hasselhoff felt a bit embarrassed, but he said that there's a learning curve with every new venture. Hasselhoff opened to have all the kinks worked out by lunch time on Thursday.
In another humble attempt at becoming the world's coolest dad, David Hasselhoff managed to get his daughters and friends backstage at night two of this past weekend's Coachella music festival. The Hoff attempted to be on his best behavior in front of his children, but once he caught a bit of M.I.A.'s set and saw Prince, it reminded him of the time he performed on top of the Berlin Wall, only without the accents. It was at this point that The Hoff decided to make it rain with stacks and stacks of personalized Knight Rider era headshots, reportedly screaming at the top of his lungs, "It's 1985 again and I'm fucking back!"
What would any Coachella festival be without stars of every letter-caste wandering the VIP sections, and perhaps getting mouthy with a security guard who "doesn't care if you're the Queen of England, Mr. Hasselhoff, you're not on Prince's backstage guest list!" A round-up of the celebrity goings on:
· We finally have an answer to the burning question of last week: Hey—what's Sean Penn doing on the Coachella bill? As it turns out, he was not there to shoot some low-budget crowd scenes for Milk, nor was he there, as he joked from the Main Stage yesterday, for an "a cappella cover act of Celine Dion." [Sound of polite audience laughter.] No, he was there for something called the Dirty Hands Caravan, a "biodiesel cross-country bus trip" starting from the concert site and ending in New Orleans on Sunday. The speech, in its entirety, is above—make sure to stick around for the YouTube documentarians' pithy assessment of Penn's oratorical skills. [YouTube, AP]
It seems that when you're a former heartthrob forced to maintain your celebrity status on the likes of Idol-wannabe reality shows, picking up women isn't as easy as flashing your veneers and saying hello. In the case of hamburger abuser David Hasselhoff, he might have been able to score by simply striding up to a group of giggly women and opening with "Hi, I'm The Hoff." But one pesky home video and one bitter divorce battle later, the NY Daily News reports that David's current moves aren't so slick:
Ohh gosh. Britney Spears, calamine-stained wig collector and sideways recording artist, has of late been spending some time with David Hasselhoff, well respected star of the television series Baywatch and the film Floor Hamburger for Algernon. The two were introduced to each other by Britney's father Jamie, which makes mother Lynne "incandescent with rage at Jamie's stupidity." After all, Hasselhoff (also a famous baloney salesman in Germany) has had some substance problems of his own and may not be the best pal for old Britney walnuts. Lynne thinks it's all a cheap publicity stunt so Jamie can get some buzz for a new business. But it's possible that Britney is getting something out of these meetings (which involve watching many episodes of Knightrider and practicing "primal scream therapy" in the back yard). A neighbor says of the rendezvous: "Britney turns up looking like she's carrying a big bag of bad on her back and the noise can get a bit much, but she always leaves with a smile on her face." Though, the "big bag of bad" is just the Hoff in a papoose, which they use for their secret morning constitutionals. [Showbiz Spy] After the jump, exclusive video of one of their get-togethers.
That Cirque Lodge in Utah sure sounds like one helluva wonder drug. After spending several weeks there attending to what TMZ claimed was a"substance abuse" problem, Eva checked out on February 7th (the same day Kiki Dunst checked in!), but was recently seen joyriding through the weekend party circuit. (Lest you forget, Ms. Mendes was once a Campari model.) But Eva's not the only Cirque alum who hasn't quite kicked whatever habit they went in there with; illustrious fellow Cirque-ers include David Hasselhoff, Mary-Kate Olsen, Richie Sambora and our favorite topless "art" model, Lindsay Lohan. So how well did each of these stellar examples of tip top health fare after leaving the Lodge, sober certificate in hand? From hamburgers to hoovering powder on the beach, the verdict is in.
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you spotted Buster Bluth menacing the Grove Santa with his hook.
In a bravura performance sure to catch the attention of producers and casting directors dining nearby, television superstar David Hasselhoff demonstrated the well-honed acting chops he hopes will land him gigs more artistically demanding than passing judgment on people who can play the accordion with their feet on America's Got Talent: "Spies at the Polo Lounge in the Beverly Hills Hotel spotted Hasselhoff yelling and cursing at two companions at his lunch table Friday afternoon. One witness said Hasselhoff, after complaining about his career, stormed out as nearby patrons stared. Hasselhoff's publicist Judy Katz, who famously blamed his 2006 Heathrow meltdown on antibiotics, confirmed he had lunch there with his agent, but firmly denied that any unpleasantries were exchanged." [Page Six]
PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are the greatest single contribution you will make in this lifetime, so send them in often! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you spotted Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green not engaging in any manual foreplay in public.
Today, the creative dream team of American Idol host/tireless megaproducer Ryan Seacrest and America's Got Talent judge/off-key finale-stealer David Hasselhoff have announced their promising collaboration on Tales From the Hoff, a scripted E! series that should provide a much-needed respite from the celebrity-fellating network's nonstop countdown-related programming. If you've ever furrowed a brow at the actor's repeated attempts at sustaining a post-Baywatch show business career and thought to yourself, "This man's sad quest to remain relevant to a generation that's never even heard of Knight Rider would make a darkly funny television show," then this upcoming project will quickly find itself on your Season Pass list, according to Var:
During Tuesday's moving finale of the NBC hit (we're trying to make up for missing the event by slowly reconstructing it through YouTube clips), judge David Hasselhoff offered a brave performance of his Jekyll & Hyde: The Musical's "This is the Moment," knowing in his heart that the larynx-eroding effects of too many wild nights of drunken, camcorded floorburger parties might prevent him from delivering a single note in its intended key. Still, Hoff belted on, nearly collapsing from the exertion necessary to execute the song's lung-bursting finish. Fuck America, Hasselhoff's triumphant expression seems to declare as he sustains a final, strangled note, I've got all the talent you need right here.
But could anyone better sum up the competition's 60-seat-Vegas-showroom essence than last night's winner, ventriloquist-impressionist hybrid Terry Fator? We think not. Now $1 million richer, Fator's twenty, long years traveling the bumpy show business backroads have finally paid off. (If you're skeptical of his celebrated talents, we invite you to marvel at Winston the Turtle channeling Roy Orbison above.) America's ventriloquists, so long the bottom-feeders of the post-Vaudeville entertainment world, can finally hold their heads up high, just as soon as they're done cursing the fact that the best impression they can muster sounds something like Robin Williams doing Jack Nicholson eating a sandwich.
