Having learned what happens when giant babies are elected to govern the United States, Americans are very disgusted with their government. They like the Medicare and Medicaid and Social Security and Obamacare and Prescription Drug Benefits, but they don't like democracy, which is a pretty weird way to run a country.
The government shutdown has already caused thousands of federal workers to be furloughed. Now, a tipster tells us, a rumor is going around among Washington, DC city workers that they could be furloughed as early as Monday. If you know more, leave it in the discussion section below. (Update: The DC mayor's office denies this possibility.)
A small plane smashed through the roof of an apartment building in Northern Virginia just after midnight on Friday. Amazingly, only one of the six people sleeping in the apartment was hurt.
If you're a fun girl of drinking age who lives in the D.C. area, why not go to a stranger's wedding with a guy off Craigslist? He seems "all right," what with his picture of him riding a lion that is riding a horse, and his degree and good career. He actually kind of sounds like a "catch," plus this wedding is Open Bar.
Chicago and Minneapolis are bracing themselves for over 10 inches of snow as a major winter storm—the season's last, let's hope—gears up to blanket the Midwest and Mid-Atlantic, and possibly even hit New York and Boston. The storm, currently hovering around the Great Lakes, has already started snowing over Minnesota, and will dump nearly a foot on Midwestern cities over the course of Tuesday and Tuesday night, before heading southeast toward West Virginia, Virginia and D.C., where six to 15 inches of wet, heavy snow could knock out power. From there, meteorologists believe it could swing back up northwards instead of on out to sea, leaving New York City with six inches and Boston with as many as 12. Snowplows were deployed in Chicago early this morning. Cancellations at O'Hare are likely. In D.C. they're calling it "Snowquester"; on the Weather Channel they're calling it "Saturn." We will be calling it neither of those things. [Chicago Tribune | AccuWeather | Weather.com | Boston Globe]
The Washington Post has a long and proud journalistic tradition of owning the DC Hipness beat—continuously breaking news on the young, hip vibe of our nation's capital, where conservative and liberal nerds alike can come together to act, apallingly, like children. This eagle-eyed coverage of The Hip is something of which DC—and its hip residents—can be proud. Along with the city's great selection of tapas.
Any hip motherfucker worth his titanium hip knows that our nation's capital, Washington, DC, is also our nation's hipness capital, thanks to the young, hip vibe that permeates the city's air like the stench of a half-eaten half-smoke resting in the gutter outside of an upscale Half-Smoke Lounge that harkens back to DC's "gritty" old days, with $18 half-smokes.
Tomorrow evening, the cream of our nation’s mainstream media celebrities, political celebrities, and celebrity celebrities will put on tuxedos and evening gowns and gather in a ballroom in Washington, DC to mutually give one another handjobs, in a mostly metaphorical sense. This is because the most powerful elements of our nation’s DC press corps are all “on the same team” as the people they cover (politicians) and the people they idolize (celebrities). This is called the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner, and it is the single most revolting annual gathering of pseudojournalistic cocksuckery in all the land.
In Washington the District of Columbia, hipness is not just something you put on and take off every day like a "wacky" tie showing a photo of Richard Nixon meeting Elvis Presley; it is a way of life. And DC's young, hip vibe is not just limited to young nerds—old nerds are getting in on the act as well.
Fearless Washington, DC TV reporter Andrea McCarren is fearless enough to take on that most taboo of subjects: kids these days. With the drinking, and the boozing. These teenagers and their drunkenness. But lo: a bunch of drunk teens were too much even for fearless reporter Andrea McCarren.
