1. The NYC Olympic Bid Committee logo has been unveiled. Who says the gays don't run everything? Just looking at that is going to make guys start butt-humping each other on the streets. [via Gothamist]
2. Amanda Hesser redux: Cynthia Cotts analyzes the wreckage in the dining room.
3. A history of public relations and the star system. (Also known as: yet another article about Tom Cruise's firing of Pat Kingsley for which neither party will grant an interview.)

· J.Lo's mom reportedly won $2.4 mil at an Atlantic City casino last weekend. To put it politely: that seems somehow unfair. [NYDN]
· Helpful roundup of celebrity couplings: is Ryan Seacrest secretly engaged? And if so, can we get him castrated before he spawns? [NYP]
· Slash nearly gets in a drunken bar brawl whilst trying to prove his identity to dubious nightlifers. He should write his name in his tighty-whities. Or get his own name tattooed on his ass. [VV]
· In a victory for romantics everywhere, Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee may be tying the knot once more... the knot that holds up their famous "sex swing," we can hope. [NYDN]

Lloyd Grove has a cheery report of last night's celebrity-filled "Downtown Seder," but it seems like our correspondent was at a totally different event:

1. Antonio Sabato Jr. gets knocked down and pummeled backstage at LA fashion week. Incredible video. Apparently, the assailant is, for some reason, not Jack White.
2. According to the mugshot, Owen Wilson has evidently abducted a young girl in Wisconsin.
3. A very happy ninth birthday to the Drudge Report, the source from which the world gets its most accurate, manly, and least politically skewed gossip.

Special thanks to this week's advertisers, who helped me become the extremely loathesome person I am today. Would you like to advertise on Gawker as well?

One of those nice little people who live upstate (you know, where the cheddar comes from) has a big beef with the Queer Eyes. Bravo bought picture rights to a mockup of Frank Benicase's "Fab 5" license plate for Queer Eye, paying the guy his asking price of a hundred bucks. But now that he's seen the Queers raking in the money, he wants some of our juicy big city cash diverted upstate. Worse — everyone thinks he's a 'mo on the road.

Sightings are provided by readers: send yours to tips@gawker.com

Sightings are provided by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.

Last night, the Museum of Modern Art gave Sofia Coppola a lifetime achievement award for her decades of work in film. First, a conversation with NYT film critic Elvis Mitchell before a rapt audience, and then an oh-so-downtown nightclub party. God bless Sofia — all those movies she's made over the years have kept us entertained. Throughout her lengthy career, we've laughed, cried, and gone to the movies at least — I mean, at most — twice.

· Uma Thurman's brother retracts his death threats against Ethan Hawke. What a pussy. Also, ex-girlfriend Rosario Dawson on Colin Farrell's on-set affair with Angelina Jolie: "Because now, the whole six months [of filming] is only Rock on and who you fucked. And I really think he did so much more than just fuck Angelina." [NYO, last 2 items]
· Speaking of, Michael Musto says: "Meanwhile, I hear that the poster boy for sheer, scandalicious hedonism, Colin Farrell, does a full frontal shot in the upcoming 'A Home at the End of the World,' and it'll be the end of my world if it gets cut (the shot, that is)." [VV]
· Overpriced diner Table 50 launches tonight: on the tip sheet, Harvey Weinstein and, inevitably, party prop Candace Bushnell. [NYP]
· Jon Stewart to spawn. [NYDN]

· Liz Smith is concerned about celebraholism, the compulsive need for exposure to celebrities. But what about celebraphobia — the sudden need to vomit in the presence of really dreadful famous people? [NYP]
· Vincent Gallo fails to recognize woman with whom he had an affair: she produces photograph evidence. Who carries around pictures of the night you fucked Vincent Gallo? [NYP]
· Britney Spears: skankbot. [NYDN (3rd item) and [ToGawp]
· Vivica Fox wishes she were still with 50 Cent. Evidently she didn't get her chance to shoot him yet. [NYDN]

We're not sure if these photos were taken while Star Jones and her fiance Al Reynolds were at the famous straight-couples-only Negril resort in Jamaica back in January. Perhaps not, because the couple reportedly only visited Negril to take advantage of the nude beaches, and at least they're wearing a little something in these photos of unknown origin.

· Nobody wants them, but now they have their revenge: ironman Amanda Hesser sits in the NYT restaurant critic slot for now, but the number of candidates who don't want the job continues to grow. [NYP]
· Bijou Phillips eats floor at art gallery opening and flees in tears, to find her driver MIA. [NYP]
· Celebrity-burglar (that's burglar of celebrities, not celebrity who burgles) Blane Nordahl busted after run of dozens of home invasions, including Bruce Springsteen's and Ivana Trump's. No telling if he scored Ivana's original face. [NYP]
· Only room for Jean_Georges in the kitchen: Spice Market reps are unhappy with reviews mentioning the pre-opening involvement of Gray Kunz, former chef of Lespinasse. [NYDN]
· Tom Scott, juice mogul, wants to launch a local Hamptons TV channel in May. Exciting live TV coverage of such events as the installation of a dumpster at Red Horse Plaza! [NY mag]
· The most annoying man in the world, the recently retired host of "Inside the Actor's Studio," has "26 offers to do a book," he claims. Anything that keeps him off TV is good with us. [NYP]

I swear we don't pay people to follow reality show winners around, we're not actually that shallow and gross, but, here's more of Yoanna's day:

A recent traveler through JFK took this picture, and notes: "Perhaps this poster outta be removed at the AA ticketing counter at JFK??? Seems just a tad bit tacky, really. Not to mention the photo is blistered from being in sunlight for what looks like over a decade."

· Richard Simmons to face charges for slapping fellow passenger at Phoenix airport. Apparently the passenger picked one of the 25 most mockable things about Simmons, and Simmons gave him what he deserved. No word yet on the force of the bitchslapping — does the passenger have a permanent Richard Simmons handprint on his face? [AP]
· Fox gossip Roger Friedman claims that Martha Stewart has essentially hired an assistant at Danbury Correctional Institution, which is the most improbable bit of gossip we've heard in decades — particularly since there's no telling what prison Martha will end up in. Still, the idea of Martha as prison boss with a staff is kind of awesome. [Fox 411]
· The majority of tickets for Madonna's tour will cost between $175 and $300. For that kind of cash, you can get a three aging transexuals from Port Authority to sing "Borderline" while gyrating on your lap. [NYDN]

· The always family-focussed MATT DRUDGE!!!!! exploits the Simon Cowell story; apparently, the American Idol judge did some gesturing with his middle finger last night. CRUCIFY HIM! Remember when we were all exposed to JANET'S HOOTERS? A million children went blind that fateful night! We must be protected from this obscenity!
· While Whitney is just out of rehab, we hear a rumor that "Rich Girl" Ally Hilfiger has just checked in to Silver Hill Hospital in Connecticut. Very tasteful place — reportedly, Nick Nolte, Diana Ross, Mariah Carey, and Bill Joel are graduates.
· Video of Dennis Miller going off on Eric Alterman. (Caution: giant stretches of dullness.) [via Boing Boing]
· Please welcome Yoanna, America's next top supermodel overlord.
· How to write love letters to Sam Waksal.
· Lloyd Grove issues brutal take-down of Rex Reed. "Man, Grove doesn't care whose toes he steps on," says Cinetrix.
· Over-share of the day: Enrique Iglesias confesses to having world's smallest penis. [via HBD]

· Janice Dickinson — America's first supermodel, if she does say so herself — freaks out the odious Ryan Seacrest on his own show with a lapdance and some dirty talk. Apparently he booted her during the commercial break. [NYP]
· Whitney Houston checks out of rehab after five days. According to the Daily News, she's outside of Atlanta. (According to DJ Wendy Williams, she's in a rented mansion in California with a big staff.) There was no comment from Whitney's spiritual adviser, Prince Asiel Ben Israel, AKA Prince Superfreaky. [NYDN]
· Us Weekly is reporting that Britney Spears is spending secretive weekends at the Beverly Hills Hotel with Colin Farrell. Right, of course — because of all the privacy and lack of media scrutiny at the Hotel? [NYDN]
· The upcoming InnerCircle media-fest dinner will feature "Fox 5 anchor team John Roland and Rosanna Scotto - playing Federal Communications Chairman Michael Powell and Janet Jackson belting out 'The Breast Is Yet to Come.'" [NYDN]
· Carson Kressley, out and about and shopping for a quiet one-bedroom in Chelsea. [NYP]
· Apprentice contestants have all gone back to their sad daily lives until the live season finale on April 15 — except Omarosa, who circles the globe on her broom, threatening to run for political office and trigger the end times. [NYP]

Sightings are provided by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com

· Page Six unmasks Courtney's favorite teat-suckler: one Mr. Kofi Asare. Said Mr. Asare, "All I wanted was some chicken nuggets." (No, seriously.) [NYP]
· Madonna may push her better-selling back catalogue on her tour this year. (You mean the tour we told you about in January and you all doubted me until it was announced this week? Yeah, that one.) [NYDN]
· Page Six publishes a rumored winner of The Apprentice... which we won't print ourselves, because some things on this planet are sacred — like naked pictures of Courtney Love and the final episode of reality shows. [NYP]