Everyone is speculating wildly: The Post asks if Tom Cruise gave his wives cold sores; Hollywood reporters accuse their boss of naughty flights and Madonna thinks a new baby can maybe fix everything.

Jeremy Piven can't make any more curtain calls because he was poisoned with (ahem) "mercury," people are assualting Bernie Madoff's broker now and tender meat reuintes J.Lo and Mark Anthony.

It's winter, and Anderson Cooper has a European friend to help stock his closet. Britney Spears turned to her ex-husband for warmth, and Alec Baldwin's rising blood pressure warmed an entire Westin ballroom.

It's reconciliation day: Letterman invited Leno, Madonna offered to visit Guy Ritchie and even Marc Jacobs dropped the drama. Tom Cruise is still kind of a bastard, though.

• Tina Fey agreed to be Lorne Michaels' awkward circus monkey at gathering of Albany lawmakers discussing TV production tax credits. "She seemed incredibly uncomfortable... Someone said, ‘Do a Sarah Palin!' and she did a Sarah Palin." Cringe. [NYM]

A day of new beginnings: Gwyneth Paltrow SOMEHOW restored her breasts to teenage perkiness, Paula Abdul is maybe leaving American Idol and Tommy Hilfiger uncanceled his wedding.

• Jennifer Aniston posed naked on the cover of GQ and inside said boyfriend John Mayer is "extraordinary" with his instrument, but couldn't name his big hit song: "Did not know much about him before I met him. I'd heard ... you know, uh 'Your Body' – that song."

• Someone in Toronto has Tom Cruise's BlackBerry. The Church of Scientology will disavow any knowledge of the actions needed to get it back in the event an agent is caught or killed. [P6]

• Kate Moss and her boyfriend may be welcoming a child into their continuous boxing match/family.

• Fran Drescher announced a run for Hillary Clinton's senate seat, on the basis of being "authentic and honest" and "getting a bill passed in Washington." Presumably having Anderson Cooper in the tank is a plus, too. Pray she's joking. [NYM]

• Alex Rodriguez said he isn't shagging Madonna. Sure. He's just hanging in Miami, Mexico City and Brazil with her, platonically, and maybe buying an apartment with her, platonically, and meeting secretly with her in restaurants, as friends. He also denied riding on a private jet with Madonna, so I guess this is supposed to be someone else who was photographed with her?

• First Britney Spears' guests whispered behind her back about how she looked "vacant" and "out of it" at her big birthday party. Then the singer's ex Kevin Federline told People that Spears' craziness had him "concerned with my children," whose well-being he felt compelled to fight for via custody battle when Spears "went behind my back" and filed for divorce, leaving him "completely blindsided." Finally, her first husband was thrown in jail.

• Despite showing off her cleavage, Britney Spears managed to attract only the likes of Lance Bass and Ciara to her big 27th birthday party at Tejune. But that's still a better guest list than she'd have been allowed at either of the mental hospitals she visited this year. And she's finally the center of America's attention!

• Bryan Adams is so famous entire families are stalking him. It's nice when parents want their children to follow in their professional footsteps! [Sun]

• Christopher Buckley is writing a tell-all book about his parents William F. and Pat Buckley. "This book is going to land hard in some quarters," he said. Not unlike endorsing Barack Obama. [P6]

• Though they've broken up, social something-or-other Paris Hilton would still like to marry her rock n' roller friend Benji Madden. [Showbiz Spy]

• Alex's Rodriguez's people did their best to spread word he wasn't going to ditch his kids and ex-wife at Thanksgiving to see Madonna in New York, as had been previously rumored. After everyone duly printed the Yankees slugger would be in Miami with his family instead, it emerged Madonna would accompany Rodriguez to Miami, via private jet. Should make for interesting dinner conversation!

• Ann Coulter's mouth was literally wired shut. Though the "leggy reactionary" can't talk, it's safe to assume she'd blame liberals. [P6]

• Anna Wintour's daughter Bee Shaffer, the aspiring journalist, is graduating from Columbia in May and is "really nervous about the fact nobody's hiring right now." If she gets desperate she could take one of those awful personal assistant jobs working for a magazine editor. (She won't get desperate.) [NYM]

• Michael Jackson is a secret Muslim who is actually called Mikaeel, meaning angel of Allah, after the pop star rejected the name "Mustafa," which means chosen one. In a few days Jackson will appear in London court, where an Arab sheikh is suing him for seriously breaching a multi-million-dollar contract. Related? Who knows. The headline? "The Way You Mecca Me Feel." [Sun]