· You make the call: Is this studio trying to "test film release standards" by releasing National Lampoon's Blackball on DVD four days after its US theatrical release, or just dumping a year-and-a-half-old piece of crap into theaters because the still-hot Vince Vaughn is in the movie? [via Movie Marketing Blog]
· Ryan Seacrest can't get any respect from headline writers. C'mon, CNN, he swears he's straight!
· MILFs are so totally red hot right now.
· The NY Observer presents the lost Paris Hilton sketch that was scrapped when Hilton supposedly refused to be on stage with low-class legend Joey Buttofuoco.
· Is Lindsay Lohan hooking up with Johnny Knoxville in between Hurricane chugging contests in New Orleans?

If you look really closely, you can pretend that you see Marcia Cross's tongue hungrily probing Felicity Huffman's ear. And where's her other hand?

When we posted the casting call for Brett Ratner's video shoot for Mariah Carey yesterday, we didn't expect that anyone would attempt to apply through Defamer. But, of course, someone did enlist us to help them make their connection with the type of fame that only a frame or two in a Ratner-directed video can provide:

Hollywood PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are sent in by our readers. Send yours to tips@defamer.com and let the world know that Kate and Orlando's hiking habits presaged their eventual break-up.

At the New York screening of the Brian Grazer-produced Brian Grazer Presents: Inside Deep Throat, A Brian Grazer Production, Gigi Grazer (Brian's wife, stay with us) explains a surefire way to land yourself a high-powered Hollywood producer:

A reader alerted us to this photo after clicking around in the gallery that yielded yesterday's Super Bowl nipple slip post. Despite the sleepier-than-usual eyes and the array of beverages in front of him, Owen Wilson obviously wasn't too drunk to fulfill his duties as the self-appointed Hollywood Playmate Inspector (he's probably got that title on his business card)—all of the nipples on his beat stayed securely covered by bikinis.

While the Gawker Worldwide Blogging Concern's server were taking their tri-monthly crack holiday early yesterday evening, Marcia Cross' publicist was busy denying the rumors that the Desperate Housewife prefers the sexual apparatus of women to that of men to Entertainment Tonight. According to the flack, the whispers are "completely untrue," but Marcia is "very supportive of the gay and lesbian community." Apparently, the truth is worse than we thought. If Cross finally lands on the cover of the Advocate, she'll probably reveal that she's been living in a polyamorous Sapphic paradise in the Hills with three generations of television lesbian life-partners, with Andy Dick as her part-time rent-boy.

· The geniuses (we aren't using that term flippantly) who brought us Lohan Freestyle make a triumphant return with another certain hit, Jolie Homewrecker.
· Franklin Avenue's (and Variety's) Michael Schneider ponders the implications of Joel Stein's pilot for ABC: "What will happen to Stein's column if the show is picked up? It's just a once-a-week gig, so I suppose he could continue... but would that be just too much conflict of interest? Would you want a entertainment columnist who is working closely with divisions of News Corp. and Disney?" We're going to toss and turn thinking about this one tonight. [via LA Observed]
· When we saw Burt Reynolds' Super Bowl commercial, we asked the same question.
· The Malis in Wonderland blog bets a million bucks on The Wedding Date.
· My Blog Is Poop marinates in Swanklash, wondering how her movies might've been better if the real Karate Kid had done them.
· Trey Parker tells the Aristocrats joke, and it's absolutely filthy.

A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity has presented itself, as curiously hacky director Brett Ratner takes a short break from his blockbuster feature career to once again ply his trade on the small screen. You, the SAG-card- wielding Hollywood hopeful, can work with a visionary in the medium that most fully exploits his cinematic gifts—that is, if your headshot passes the grueling "Ratner test":

It's not exactly Paul McCartney whipping it out in the middle of "Hey Jude," but it looks like Fox Sports did indeed get their nipple slip. Having it happen to a Playboy bunny almost disqualifies it...almost. Click here to see the uncensored pic, at least until someone at the Fox site takes it down.

When the Michael Jackson Trial of the Century kicked off last week, we had the creeping feeling that we'd soon be hearing stories about boozy, Jesus Juice-fueled nights by the llama pen from former child actor pals. Now it seems that the first inappropriately-wandering glove tale will come courtesy of Corey Feldman, a frequent Neverland guest during the rollicking 80s. ABC News teases our naughty places with a Feldman quote from this Friday's 20/20 episode:

In a letter in the current issue of The New Yorker, Owen Wilson defends on- and off-screen buddy Ben Stiller from getting pushed around by movie critic/big bully David Denby. (Click on the picture of the pals to see a scan of the letter or read the transcription below.) Unsurprisingly, Wilson's is a much more eloquent (and funny) response than the full-page attack ad that Rob Schneider unleashed on the LAT's Patrick Goldstein last week. Note especially Wilson's subtle invocation of the threat of violence, and contrast with Schneider's near-promise of bloodshed. In any case, we're witnessing a hot new trend being born in Hollywood—we're sure dozens of actors are learning how to write so they can publicly dress down unkind critics.

· Not content to merely sit through the Super Sanitized Bowl, TVGasm recaps the proceedings in painstaking detail. Masochists.
· "If Michael Bay is a Ferrari, and McG is a Ford Mustang, Brett Ratner is a broken down Pinto with flat tires." So sayeth the IMDb message board for one Brett Ratner, although they're being incredibly generous to Bay and McG. We guess the analogy would've fallen apart if they used three Pintos.
· Hold on a minute...when did Half Pint get so gosh darn juggsy? And we don't care what anyone says, we studied the photo for hours and can't detect any kind of nipple slip. [via ToGawp/Fleshbot]
· Slate rates the Super Bowl ads. For the record, our favorite was the one where Burt Reynolds got racked by a guy in a cheap bear suit. Why stop with the balls, Smokey? Go for the kill next time.

We received so many e-mails about this picture that our resolve has been broken and we're finally posting it, letting the question of whether or not it's a clever Photoshop creation hang in the air. Tsk, tsk, Hilary. We never would've caught Lindsay Lohan running around with a Trojan in her bag before she turned 18—but that's because Fez always struck as a bareback kind of guy.

A year after the destruction of the celebrity entity known as "Bennifer," Jennifer Lopez's engagement ring has made it back to jeweler Harry Winston's, where it's currently up for resale to "serious buyers." There's no word on exactly how the jeweler "reacquired" the ring, but Ben Affleck can't be happy that it's back in circulation. He thought the thing was gone for good after he spent his downtime last year crossing Mordor so that he could toss the ring into a volcano and dispel the evil curse on his career. Now it looks like somebody fished the cursed thing out of the molten lava and he'll once again be consigned to a life of Paychecks and Surviving Christmases.

When we read Rob Schneider's attack ad nuking the LAT's Patrick Goldstein for a Deuce Bigalow joke the reporter made last week, we shouldn't have assumed that Schneider's research was thorough. (We imagine it involved googling "Patrick Goldstein journalism awards.") A reader informs us that Goldstein was the recipient of an award from the publicists guild last year, as noted in Variety last February:

We received so many e-mails about Rob "Deuce Bigalow" Schneider's full-page attack ad that ran in the trades today that we actually left the house to purchase a copy of Variety and transcribed it for your reading pleasure. Journalists, you've been put on notice: make an easy joke about The Hot Chick in print and you may find yourself beaten within an inch of your life with a Cable Ace Award.

We put out the call for your blind item guesses, and, as usual, you flooded our inbox with the names of suspicious celebrities. Take quick stroll with One Drive-By Blind Vice Has It* *Or One Do-Me Blind Vice Has It (Take Your Best Schtup!) before moving on to your responses:

Our legal background consists entirely of helping Pakistani cabdrivers in the Washington, DC area obtain green cards (it's a long story, trust us), so we're not exactly sure what to make of the threats by Lindsay Lohan's lawyers to sue anyone in the media if they so much as think about recent accusations made by her estranged dad. Shit, we totally thought about it when we typed that sentence! Is that the doorbell ringing? Is a process server hiding in the bushes, waiting to waylay us on our afternoon trip to Starbucks? We're covering the house in tinfoil and never answering the phone again.

Britney Spears may have finally learned her lesson about wearing shoes in public bathrooms, but she's still deliciously slow on the uptake when it comes to realizing that paparazzi cameras are constantly trained on her balcony. Now that these pictures are circulating over the internets, she might finally cancel her weekly "Naked Jazzercise" session.