This past-her-prime star is desperate enough to let a fellow actor walk all over her. And this reality star wants more marriages than Elizabeth Taylor. Oh, I wonder who that could be? It's so (sarcastically) hard!

This TV star is trying to get back into acting by making connections as a drug dealer. This media mogul married a lesbian, and this funny man is a terror on set. Well, at least he can peddle coke if he gets fired.

This actor and his wife are obsessed with naked ice-skating. This macho actor has a thing for women's panties. And this actor is sleeping with two of his "sisters." It's chilly today—perfect nude ice-skating weather.

This actor missed being in the delivery room so he could bang a coworker. These reality show husbands are cheating. This tween is doing coke in the bathroom. And this actress is broke. Maybe she should star in a sitcom about an actor cheating on his wife with a coworker?

Creepy psycho circus clown Michael Lohan has been arrested for the second time in three days—this time for allegedly trying to contact his girlfriend Kate Major, which he wasn't supposed to do because he just allegedly threatened to throw her off a fourth-floor balcony and The Law told him to leave the lady alone.

This actress thinks a baby bump will get her back in the tabloids. But who will be the father? This actress helps out a stranger, and this famous couple is having trouble on the set. Maybe a baby will help?

This Hollywood figure is begging all her friends to set her up with men. This reality star has a dark secret. And Giada De Laurentiis' blind item reputation finally catches up with her. Good thing she's already married.

This young actress couldn't hold her liquor and left it on the carpet the hard way. Good thing her older boyfriend was there to care for her. This actor is loving fatherhood but also loves his mistress. And this boy toy is taking care of his body for his sugar daddy. Those older boyfriends are a lot of work!

Hollywood child bride Courtney Stodden and her 51-year-old husband Doug Hutchison stopped by their local pumpkin patch over the weekend to purchase a pumpkin that they could carve into something scarier than their May-Spooktember relationship, if that's even possible (no). But some miserable jealous shoppers who have never known true love spotted them behaving "inappropriately" amidst the gourds and complained to a pumpkin patch patrol unit, who kicked the couple right on outta there. Seems the hateful Halloween horde also didn't like Stodden's outfit of frightfully immodest Daisy Dukes, a plaid shirt tied Daisy Duke-ily in the front, and knee-high white go-go boots—even though it's what she (probably) wore to church. (Women's fashion tip: when running agriculture-related errands, wear flats instead of stripper shoes so that your heels don't get stuck in the dirt.)

This former TV star went on a week-long coke binge after the co-star he was sleeping with bedded two other co-stars. An entirely different former sitcom actor hooked up with the actor who played his brother. But just once. He's not, you know, gay or anything.

This actress cruises the free website looking for decorating bargains. This celeb cheated on her famous husband with her famous ex. And this star used to claim she was molested by the man who is now her husband. You can't even find something that creepy on Craigslist.

This kids of this actress got an eyeful when they visited mommy on set. This actress is cheating on her man, this actor is allowed to have sex with all the prostitutes he wants, and this actor will spend Halloween with a slew of streetwalkers. This year, the treats are the tricks!

This former child star's father thought it was time that her body got more, um, womanly. This actor doesn't like to be called by his character's name, this Glee star likes to set up castmates, and this director and actress have been having an affair for 20 years, ever since they were young—and without fake boobs.

This actor's marriage is on the rocks because he got an old girlfriend knocked up. This rapper is having unprotected sex with fans and this actress is paying for her sister's medical bills. Are they for prenatal care?

This chanteuse has a thing for guys that are taken. This actress thinks she's too good for Dancing with the Stars but that it's perfect for her brother. Oh, and there's something about pregnancy that is just totally silly.

This TV gabber employs hookers around the world. This Hollywood husband is cheating (who isn't?). And this famous wife was investigating her husband because she thought he was January Jones' babydaddy. He may not be, but she found even more secrets.

This actor has been cheating on his wife for awhile and she may expose his sex tape during divorce proceedings. This actress is extremely ungrateful. And this aging rocker finally came out to his wife. She's supportive though, so she won't be airing any dirty laundry—or sex tapes.

This Oscar-winning auteur popped the question to a Real Housewife, even though they're both already married. This singer is trying to start a scandal. And another musician is such a drunk she sleeps with a baby monitor so she won't die in her sleep. Sounds like a story a great director could turn into a movie.

This actor made an advance on his costar by barging into a trailer in the buff. These two famous gentlemen are into the booger sugar and this television set is full of drama. Let's just hope they have locks on the trailer doors.

In his coked-up past, this actor used to have very crazy sex with a famous actress, a relationship he's detailed in his book. This couple is helping people with low-interest loans and this other couple is having a messy divorce. We can't wait for their tell-alls.