Donald Trump’s rapid descent into madness this week has apparently alarmed his senior aides so much that they’re reportedly planning an intervention to beg Trump to be a different person, at least until the election is over.

Michael Scheuer has long been a grenade-tosser, from his days as a CIA officer to his anonymous 2004 broadside against the war on terror, "Imperial Hubris." Now, the Georgetown instructor has fine-tuned his argument: Barack Obama and U.K. Prime Minister David Cameron are legitimate targets for assassination.

There are interventions, and then there's setting up an elaborate prank to convince your buddy he's been in a coma for ten years in an last-ditch effort to save his life

President Obama says he hasn't yet made a decision about intervening in the Syrian civil war as a response to last week's devastating chemical-weapons attack. And if he hasn't, why would you have, especially since it's Labor Day weekend and you're trying to figure out how to grill scallops, exactly, like, just throw them on there, or what? Well: We're here to help. Here are four opinions you can have about the U.S. options:

A&E's Intervention, the reality show about addiction-cum-vehicle for some of the most extreme human behavior ever shown on television, ended with last night's episode. It was its 194th. A&E announced the cancelation in May, and while the network didn't specific exactly why, it's clear that the 8-year-old show has been eclipsed in ratings by newer A&E franchises. Last week's new Intervention episode nabbed 1.35 million viewers, while a Duck Dynasty rerun that aired Wednesday night did 1.56 million viewers.

It wouldn't be a new year without some media-escalated moral panic over a new and potentially dangerous intoxicant. Except 2012's hazard, a synthetic and cheap legal chemical sold as "bath salts"—varying compositions of mephedrone, methylenedioxypyrovalerone (MDPV), and methylone—did have some fairly harrowing consequences. Users who'd ingested too much recounted super-human strength, feelings of demonic possession, vibrantly nightmarish hallucinations; police reports featuring assailants suspected to be under the influence of bath salts documented rabid-animal behaviors like biting, kicking, and primal viciousness.

Jersey Shore brawler Ronnie Ortiz-Magro had his day in court in New Jersey today for the fight that he was in during season one of the show. No, not that fight when he was on the boardwalk with Sammy, the other fight where he knocked a guy out outside of Karma. So confusing!

Today's episode of Dr. Phil brought the conclusion of the incredibly hyped, two-day Ted Williams familiy trouble/rehab saga. During it, Dr. Phil held a one-on-one intervention of sorts and asked a reluctant and scared Williams to go straight into treatment.

On last night's Intervention, 23-year-old Jason did not seem too keen on recovering. He always felt neglected by his mother. Once she finally professed her love, he made the decision to turn his life around and is doing well.

Last night's Intervention featured Dionicio, a heroin addict. As is common with most users, he came from a horribly abusive childhood, but something in his eyes and the way he reminisced made his story exceptionally heartbreaking.

The addicts who appear on A&E's Intervention have a 71 percent recovery rate, which is astonishingly high. Of the 161 addicts profiled on the show, 130 are allegedly still sober. See? Reality television isn't entirely bad after all.

In his interview with GQ, Zach Galifianakis said "if they put a laugh track on Intervention, it would be funny." The TV-lovers over at Warming Glow requested by the magic of the internet that someone create it, and they did.

When you and your mom are best friends and drinking buddies, you might have problems. When you're acting as a look out for your mom as she panhandles for beer money, you definitely have problems.

Tonight's South Park parodied A&E's Intervention with everyone's favorite pot smoking towel. It seems the little blue rascal has opened the gateway to harder drugs like crystal-meth and heroin. Oh Towelie, why won't you listen to those that love you?

You may be familiar with this, the latest and greatest video storming the web. From A&E's Intervention, it features a dude with a strangely haunting, yet comical, wail. But our ever industrious internet wants more! Bring on the mash-ups.

Today at Gawker.TV,we learned a lot from The Sing-Off, the best Tiger Woods parody video we've seen, a local news anchor laughs about murder, another Intervention episode for the record books, and Barbara gets the skinny from Snoop Dogg.

Each episode of A&E's Intervention follows a pattern: the addict's tragic past is explored, his/her horrifying effect on friends and family is exposed, and the intervention is staged. Character is what distinguishes each episode. Tonight's Jennifer was an instant classic.

• Addiction sells: now in its fifth season, Intervention is A&E's highest rated show. [NYT]

It's been less than a week since Allison—Intervention's computer-cleaner-inhaling breakout sensation—first huffed her way into our hearts, but you can already feel the profound effect she's had on the social landscape: Wander into a Staples, for example, you'll quickly notice laser-printed signs at the register warning customers "FALCON DUST-OFF NOT FOR RECREATIONAL USE." Why, right here at Defamer HQ, we've been delighting in the cortex-smoothing, color-enhancing effects of the affordable aerosol stimulant sitting under our noses all along. (We apologize for any recent deterioration in the quality of the posts, however, and promise you that gurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr dooooooodle dooooooodle doooooooooo....MAN that's good stuff!) Anyway, because the only thing better than an old fashioned YouTube huffer meme are the inevitable remixes that follow, we're thrilled to present this uplifting, toe-tapping take on Allison's memorable peaking catchphrase—"I feel like I'm walking on sunshine!"—which she delivers with all the head-swiveling pizzazz of The Facts of Life's Cousin Geri.

· We've never really been giant fans of A&E's borderline exploitative documentary series about the throes of addiction, Intervention. While it's great that the show helps families and addicts attempt to deal with their significant problems, we always end up feeling icky on the rare occasions that we see the show. This week's episode, about a woman hooked on huffing computer duster, was no exception. [Videogum] · Former NYT film critic Elvis Mitchell was recently stopped crossing the U.S. border with $12,000 in cash hidden in a shoebox, along with a stash of 15 Cuban cigars. His explanation? He's afraid of banks. That might make sense if he was driving his own vehicle, but he was actually riding in a taxi at the time. [NY Post] · While the Two Coreys had no trouble cashing a paycheck to appear in Lost Boys 2: The Tribe, Kiefer Sutherland decided to take a pass. "Lost Boys was a massive part of my life, it still is. You can’t crap on that." Smart move. [/Film] · In the biggest wedding news since Jay-Z and Beyonce tied the knot earlier this year, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia De Rossi are reportedly tying the knot this weekend in California. Should be De-Lovely! [US Magazine] · Greg Johnson, one of our favorite up-and-coming comedians, just ran across the United States. Naked. [Buzzfeed]