J.Lo was getting dirty in public with her new 20-something boytoy. Oscar de la Hoya likes it in the butt. Bethenny Frankel's cocktail may not be as pure as she thinks. Robert Wagner thought Natalie Wood was messing around the night she died. Monday's gossip lost its virginity a long time ago.

Kristin Cavallari feuds with the Kardashians. (Fingers crossed for mutual destruction.) Beyonce debuts her 2008 wedding dress. George Clooney's 11-year-old co-star calls him out. Thursday gossip throws the gauntlet.

Come join James Franco for a James Dean-themed sex-doll orgy-slash-art-project! Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are married... or are they?! And Justin Timberlake has a crush. Saturday gossip is a rebel, Saturday gossip is a rebel, Saturday gossip is a rebel.

Nicki Minaj curses out a maid, and the end result is a battery charge. Kim Kardashian says her newlywed life is "not ideal." Alexa Ray Joel opens up about HPV. Usher gets in a fight over a parking space. TGIFriday gossip.

Lindsay's 17-year-old sister has seen her "boobs, ass, and vag." Kim Kardashian's reality show literally tried to cast her husband. Jason Sudeikis is dating an Olsen, but which one? Thursday gossip is sisterly.

Creepy psycho circus clown Michael Lohan has been arrested for the second time in three days—this time for allegedly trying to contact his girlfriend Kate Major, which he wasn't supposed to do because he just allegedly threatened to throw her off a fourth-floor balcony and The Law told him to leave the lady alone.

LiLo will disrobe for close to $1 million. Demi visits Ashton at work. Christina Hendricks craves things that are "smooth on the tongue." Gisele Bundchen pulls a Gwyneth. Tuesday gossip shakes its moneymaker.

Christina Aguilera says she fell prey to a nefarious computer hacker. Blake Lively and Ryan Gosling seem to be dating. Michael Lohan makes a video of himself getting Botox, because, why not? Thursday gossip has a complicated relationship with fame.

Ben Harper and Laura Dern: Splitsville, USA. Population: Them. Justin Bieber's new line of nail polish! Mariah Carey throws a birthday bash. Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart spotted doing normal couple things. Sunday Gossip Roundup! It's here.

A source tells us that Michael Lohan—who's been accused of domestic assault by three ex-girlfriends—is attempting to sell nude photos of Kate Major, his ex-fiancee who accused Lohan earlier this week of attacking her and threatening her life.

Lindsay's family gets special permission to visit on a week day. A photograph of Mel Gibson's possibly abused baby surfaces. Britney Spears is possibly on Team Mel. Katy Perry floats in a cloud of cotton candy. Thursday gossip is tentative.

You know journalism's in trouble when a reporter describes her job as "like a call girl without the sex." Meet "club girls," women paid to go out every night and party with celebrities, then report their findings to tabloid magazines.

Michael Lohan says he took cops to Lindsay's house on Thursday to check on Ali. Dina Lohan says Michael didn't even recognize Ali. Lindsay Lohan says her father is "the devil's advocate," whatever that means. Who do we believe?

Ed Westwick dumps Jessica Szohr over a dramatic jetsetting affair. Lindsay Lohan's new stepmother used to be her assistant, and even Dina thinks it's "incestuous." Whitney Houston wasn't snorting coke, she has allergies. XOXO, Thursday Gossip Roundup.

Once upon a time, Kate Major was a celebrity journalist who "crossed the line" to bang Jon Gosselin. Now that she's engaged to Michael Lohan, we emailed to ask if she's repeating her "mistake." Her pissed-off email response below!

Without lip gloss, will we even recognize her? Tiger Woods consults Buddhist prayers on his Blackberry. Michael Lohan pops the question to Kate Major. Whoopi Goldberg is on Team Jesse James. Wednesday's gossip roundup has seen a ghost.

A "rock solid source" says B is knocked up. Jesse James' fourth mistress comes forward. Remember when Sandra said, if he cheated, she'd beat him with a baseball bat? Heidi Montag works on a screenplay about 3-D boobs. TGIFriday gossip.

Mrs. Pratt's bikini top overfloweth and the paparazzi goes wild. What caused the Winslet-Mendes divorce? Ashley Dupre sets her hair on fire while posing naked. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt dares to wear pants. Wednesday gossip is full of risks.

Lindsay Lohan's new (alleged) lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, is of course a crazy fameball who likes to have her picture taken with her horrible clients, like Michael Lohan. Here are some Facebook photos to that effect.

• Have Madonna and Jesus Luz gone their separate ways? That's what report today indicates, suggesting it was the couple's "overall lack of mutual interests" that caused the split and it was Luz who called things off. [CST]
• Rip Torn appeared in court yesterday and was formally charged with trespassing, burglary, and possessing a firearm following his arrest over the weekend for breaking into a bank because he thought it was his own house. In all fairness, though, Torn was in rural Connecticut and the "bank" is located in a two-story colonial, so this could have been a mistake that anyone could have made, no? Maybe not. Either way, Torn is now headed to rehab upstate. [NYP, NYDN, TMZ]
• Charlize Theron recently split up with her longtime partner, Stuart Townsend, but she may already have a new man in her life: Theron was spotted in LA last week on what appeared to be a date. [P6]
• Haven't the people of Haiti suffered enough? Hot on the heels of John Travolta's trip to the devastated nation to spread Scientology to the masses and now Michael Lohan and Kate Major say they, too, are planning to head to Haiti to "help" quake victims. [Radar]