ladies

How to Get Some Guy to Marry You

Hamilton Nolan · 03/22/12 01:22PM

A new government report says that 38% of American women aged 15-44 have never ever been married, not even once. What is wrong with them? Something. Nobody likes them? Apparently. Anyhow. They're not as hopeless as everyone thinks!

One Lady Brave Enough to Tell Other Ladies Their Blogs Suck

Hamilton Nolan · 02/01/12 02:16PM

The last time overeducated lit mag n+1 wrote a big think piece about a blog, they chased all the smart people away from this here website forever. Now, n+1 is back with yet another in their peerless "How to Overthink Things on the Internet That, In Actuality, Have Little if Any Overarching Theme or Philosophy." This one's for the ladiesssssssss!

Molly Fischer has thoughts about several popular internet "ladyblogs." Like what?

Your Pretty Hair Is Making You Fat

Hamilton Nolan · 08/31/11 09:14AM

We well-meaning men have been trying to tell you this for years, ladies: your fancy hairdo is dumb. And it sucks up time that could be better spent on other things like, I don't know, just to pick an example out of thin air... doing some exercise to get yourself in shape, for once.

Urine Leaking Into Your Pants Is No Reason to Feel Unsexy

Hamilton Nolan · 08/18/11 09:11AM

Here's a thing that the genius multibillion-dollar marketing industry did, probably at a cost of millions upon millions of dollars: instead of saying "incontinence," now we say "light bladder leakage," because that term is "less stigmatizing." See how much better it sounds? "Light bladder leakage." It's not all medical-y. It's just very plain and upfront to let people know, yes, urine is leaking from my bladder, lightly, and hey, I'm still human.

Report: 40 Year-Old Ladies Like to Party

Hamilton Nolan · 07/25/11 10:37AM

Although USA Today dedicates the bulk of its reporting resources to angels and infographic porn, the paper is also committed to being America's primary source of news about What Ladies Are Doing. The answer? Partying&mdashif you know what we mean.

Now You Have to Worry About Your Ugly Underarms

Hamilton Nolan · 03/30/11 10:08AM

Remember to include the Unilever corporation on your Christmas card list this year, ladies: without their groundbreaking research, you wouldn't know enough to be publicly concerned about the hideousness of your armpit region.

'Sexy Period Panties' Help You Menstruate on Yourself, Sexily

Maureen O'Connor · 02/15/11 06:10PM

Hey, ladies: Have you been longing for a diaper to sop up excess period blood? Not an ugly diaper, but a sleek sexy one? You're in luck: Here is a new product called Sexy Period™ panties. I am of two minds about it.

Crazy Girl Thinks She Can Repel Men

Hamilton Nolan · 12/16/10 03:35PM

What is the point of "fashion?" The point of fashion is to repel men. Oh. Okay. Darn. This topic admittedly surpasses my understanding. Does it work, this fashion thing?

Showtime Does Lady Pain Just Right

Richard Lawson · 11/16/10 02:31PM

Last night's season finales of The Big C and Weeds demonstrated what HBO's oft-wayward younger brother does best. They make compelling, if ridiculous, drama about middle class women in precarious tight spots.

Study: Ladies Spread Babies Like Rabies

Hamilton Nolan · 09/02/10 11:00AM

Ladies: Have you been "bitten" by the "baby bug?" If so, blame those bitches at your work, for messing with your mind. A new study says that women are helplessly influenced by that baby-having of their social betters.