TMZ has just leaked audio from the call Lindsay Lohan made to her father, Michael, in the midst of the fight with her mom, Dina, that culminated in a small squadron of emergency vehicles descending upon Dina's Long Island home early this morning.

Have you called your mom and told her she's acting like a real bitch today?

The first trailer for the much-anticipated James Deen-Lindsay Lohan bangfest The Canyons is finally here. It's about what you'd expect: lots of violence, sex, and sleazy-looking LA action. The film, written by Paris Hilton-defender Bret Easton Ellis and directed by Taxi Driver scribe Paul Schrader, lacks both a release date and, judging from the trailer, dialogue.

Take everything Claus Hjelmbak says about his "good friend" Lindsay Lohan with a grain of salt.

Today's date is October 3rd. If you forget the date at any time today, please revisit this video to jog your memory.

Amanda Bynes' number one rival Lindsay Lohan is in the news again, although this time it appears the incident wasn't her fault. According to TMZ and the New York Post, Lohan was partying in a Manhattan hotel room with several friends and a few others when a man, who TMZ identifies as Christian LaBella, took a cell phone picture of her. Lindsay, being Lindsay, took umbrage and confronted LaBella, who then allegedly assaulted her. Says TMZ:

Yesterday, Gawker received a tip regarding a bizarre episode Amanda Bynes had Wednesday night in a New York bakery. It began, as many rips from sanity do, with a specialty cupcake. It ended with a firefighter threatening to break down a bathroom door.

Four for whoever leaked this behind-the-scenes look at a just-for-fun rap-through of math enthusiast / bad-ass MC Kevin Gnapoor's well-quoted Winter Talent Show rap from the 2004 cult film Mean Girls, attended by Amy Poehler, Lindsay Lohan, and screenwriter Tina Fey.

Modern-day Liz Taylor and Amanda Bynes enemy Lindsay Lohan was rushed to the hospital for a lung infection last night.

No one wants to come across like a twitchy, drugged-up crazy person on television, which is basically what we got from Dina Lohan on Dr. Phil last week.

Lindsay Lohan is back in a tailor-made Lifetime movie (see what I did there?) about Elizabeth Taylor's rocky relationship with her fifth (and sixth) husband, Hollywood icon Richard Burton (played by True Blood's Grant Bowler).

We can this close to never having to see Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen in bed together, but, sadly, it was not to be.

Though her reign of vehicular terror recently concluded with her BMW being impounded, Amanda Bynes' trail of batshittery is not over by a mile.

Two households, both a'lacking in dignity,
In fair California, where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean:
This is the Nickelodeon-Disney War of 2012.

Depending on the person, this blog of Lindsay Lohan photoshopped to look handless is either creepy or erotic.

Lindsay Lohan was drunk when she reportedly hit a pedestrian with her car near New York's Dream Hotel early Wednesday morning — at least according to her victim.

Mere days after wondering aloud why reckless driver Amanda Bynes was never arrested for her shenanigans, OG troublemaker Lindsay Lohan once again found herself running afoul of the law.

The law finally caught up with scofflaw Amanda Bynes yesterday when she was pulled over by police in Burbank, California, and cited for driving with a suspended license.

Self-proclaimed "Artist of many things.. :)" Lindsay Lohan took to Twitter Thursday to send out an inspirational message to fans: you too can own a $30,000 handbag and a Macintosh personal computation device, provided you never stop fighting to live your dreams.

Dina Lohan will finally get some television exposure on Monday when Dr. Phil airs his pre-recorded sit-down with the matriarch of the most messed up celebrity clan in America.