Michael Douglas' son Cameron—co-star of the unfortunately-named It Runs In The Family—was busted last night in the Gansevoort Hotel for trying to sell a shitload of crystal meth.

• Cameron Douglas, the son of Michael Douglas, was arrested at the Gansevoort Hotel last week. The crime? He had about $18,000 worth of meth with him, which he was planning to sell. [NYP]
• Mischa Barton's return to the party scene this past weekend wasn't entirely drama-free. She got upset and talked "frantically" as she recounted an episode with a stalker. Then she had a drink spilled on her when she went to a party at the Cooper Square Hotel. [P6]
• So much for Bethenny Frankel's plans to star in her own reality show. She says she'll be back for the third season of Real Housewives of NYC. [People]

Greed is good... again! 20th Century Fox has confirmed that it will be resuscitating the 1987 classic, Wall Street. Oliver Stone, who is probably still licking the wounds from his recent string of embarrassing films (Alexander, World Trade Center, W.) has signed on to direct, and Michael Douglas, who won an Oscar for his portrayal of soulless fat cat Gordon Gekko, will also be returning. Shia LaBeouf is in talks to join the cast, too, which would make him the only person under 60 involved in the project.

Now is the perfect time to make movies about the economy, because it's all anyone can talk about, so they must want to watch it, too. Specifically, someone should really do a Wall Street sequel.

• Fameball and celebrity spawn Peaches Geldof, 19, was shocked to learn her secret wedding to musician Chester French, 24, may not, in fact, "last forever." In fact it may not last 100 days, pending the results of yet another secret getaway. [Sun]

A storm surge of Wall Street-in-crisis movies is coming soon to a theater or television near you, and busy trend reporters are preparing us for the worst today with their grim surveys of what to expect in the weeks and months ahead. But beyond the obvious recycling of Wall Street for a new generation of jaded multiplexers, the forecast remains mostly sunny after early, patchy fog; we think you're more likely to see Papi and his Beverly Hills Chihuahua-mates yapping in theaters again before Gordon Gekko ever makes his return trip to Manhattan.Look at it this way: Hollywood hasn't sold a domestic crisis to moviegoers in years. At least not as a drama, anyway; Michael Moore exceeded documentary standards with Fahrenheit 9/11, but the War on Terror, Hurricane Katrina and other recent, rattling history are nowhere at the box office. Vietnam hit and (mostly) missed between 1975 and 1990, with exceptions including The Deer Hunter, Coming Home Platoon and Born on the Fourth of July. Since then, it's all about the distractions; 24 works because Jack Bauer is your kind of torturer. He's as much of an escapist as you are. The financial meltdown offers few such release valves. The familiar, curious comforts of Wall Street and Boiler Room are flying off rental shelves, according to The New York Times, but the next crop of business-themed productions — from Lifetime's Candace Bushnell adaptation Trading Up to the Gekko follow-up Money Never Sleeps — are as stillborn as Stop-Loss and Body of Lies before them. Maybe they need dancing chihuahuas, as Paul Haggis hints to the NYT, or, as an NBC programming boss told Bloomberg today, at least "exemplify the foolishness of the human condition in the world of finance'':

Finally, word surfaces today about that rarest of rare Hollywood specimens: a sequel we can actually get behind. Not that we're wholeheartedly endorsing Fox's reported plans for a follow-up to Wall Street (and we reserve the right to revoke our support if "Wall Street 2" ever appears following the working title Money Never Sleeps), but the news that Oliver Stone's 1987 potboiler has a "fast-tracked" follow-up yields the kind of timely potential Lord knows we'll miss in so many of its sad, franchise-y contemporaries — plus a Charlie Sheen-free zone where we can comfortably reacquaint ourselves with one of our favorite '80s villains.Variety notes that Allan Loeb is working on the script; he previously wrote 21, a wobbly adaptation that nevertheless capitalized on card-shark fever en route to a $157 million worldwide gross earlier this year. With financial destitution having since replaced more innocuous gambling as all the rage six months later, we're not ashamed of our curiosity as to how Michael Douglas's cutthroat inside trader Gordon Gekko would shuffle back to Lower Manhattan to set things right for a new generation of ambitious douches like Bud Fox — the Sheen character whom Gekko disposably exploits before heading off for a long prison vacation. And how many Jim Cramer/Neil Cavuto/Marisa Bartiromo cameos will reintroduce Gekko to the business culture that's long since forsaken him? So many questions, though Fox has at least one unambiguous casting demand: The film won't happen without Douglas agreeing to reprise his Oscar-winning role. He's not officially attached (and neither Sheen nor Stone are expected to return), and Mel Gibson's brave stand against Lethal Weapon 5 has actors across town united against the perversion of their most celebrated characters. It's nothing former commodities trader Loeb can't fix, though, peppering his script with awards-clip-ready dialogue bites and, if possible, Gekko's redemption by single-handedly lifting the Street out of its historic funk. After all, the Dow was up 936 points Monday on news of the sequel alone! Let's put this crisis to bed today — make two sequels at the same time, Hobbit-style. Greed is good.

♦ Gordon Gekko will live again: A sequel to Wall Street is in the works, although Michael Douglas has yet to sign on to the pic. [Variety]
♦ The downturn has been good for financial news sites: CNNMoney.com and BusinessWeek.com have both experience record growth. [WWD]
♦ The new issue of Rolling Stone is shorter and skinnier than issues past. [AP]
♦ Andy Lack, the former president of NBC News (and, more recently, the relatively unsuccessful CEO of Sony Music) is joining Bloomberg L.P. as CEO of the company's multimedia group. [NYO]

"The modern-day story will again center on Gordon Gekko, who has recently been sprung from prison and re-emerges into a much more tumultuous financial world than the one he once lorded over." [Variety]

Please stop asking Michael Douglas questions about the financial crisis! He isn't really an evil, rich financier. He's just an evil, rich actor. Also, try not to address him as Gordon at press conferencees. Because then he'll snap back at you: "My name is not Gordon. He's a character I played 20 years ago." [LA Times via BS]

Are You Mick Jagger? SAG Has Your Money: A recent scan by Sharon Waxman of the Screen Actors Guild's Web site yielded the only slightly staggering discovery that the union is holding more than $25 million in unclaimed funds for almost 67,000 members. The majority is dead (Katherine Hepburn, John F. Kennedy, Buster Keaton), but no small number is still alive and working, including Michael Douglas, Mick Jagger, Patrick Dempsey and even Eric Bogosian — who last week was elected to SAG's board, making its official "we can't find these people" excuse all the more baffling. On the bright side, Assaf Cohen is on his way. Changes will be made! [WaxWord]

In keeping with the current indie trend in which every 20th Century Gay of Note gets their own biopic (first came Capote, then Milk, and in the works are Taylor Hackford Tennessee Williams project, Ang Lee's Taking Woodstock, and James Franco channeling Alan Ginsberg in Howl), we can now add a little razmatazz to the mix, as Steven Soderbergh is developing a Liberace biography. From Variety:

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our readers, and are posted several times a week, so send them in often—the fate of the universe relies upon it! Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you noticed Dennis Rodman manhandling a minor at Koi.

· We have to admit that, up to this point, we haven't been regular watchers of BET's Hell Date. That's all about to change.
· Remember when we said yesterday that we were totally going to buy the new issue of GQ because Rachel Bilson is on the cover? Well, we lied. Egotastic has got the pictures. Frankly, we were hoping for more.
· Our favorite Olsen, Ashley, made out with our least favorite Leto, Jared.
· Absolut Vagina! Probably better than Absolut Kurant.
· Enjoy this complete retrospective of Amy Winehouse's hair.
· I'll Say I'm Sorry, But I'm Not Taking Off My Glasses: The T-Shirt [via Gorilla Mask]
· And you thought Kirk Douglas looked old?

· Realizing that he's only played a lawyer once (Fatal Attraction), Michael Douglas quickly signs on to fill the courtroom-drama-shaped hole in his career by starring in Tragic Indifference, based on a landmark case against Ford over its "indifference to flaws in its SUVs." Scene-chewing delivery of a stirring closing statement to follow. [Variety]
· Chinese Pirates 1, Sony 0: China's camcording brigade has already made pirated copies of Spider-Man 3 available on the streets of Beijing, nearly two weeks ahead of the movie's U.S. debut. Didn't that flashy Tokyo premiere teach the scofflaws anything about respecting copyrights? The MPAA's next step: dispatching piracy-hating stuntman Manny Perry to smash some black market DVD stalls with a Louisville slugger. [THR]
· The Coen Brothers will make the Fargoesque dark comedy A Serious Man for Working Title and Focus Features. Lantern-jawed muse George Clooney has yet to be attached. [Variety]
· Should ABC pick up the much-discussed Grey's Anatomy spin-off for the fall, creator Shonda Rhimes has selected Krista Vernoff to run the Grey's mothership and Marti Noxon for the satellite; Rhimes will oversee both, which will primarily involve ensuring that both shows' characters have properly overwrought speeches about their impossibly complicated love-lives to deliver and collecting enormous paychecks [THR]
· Lifetime proves its admirable commitment to keeping the female television drama stars of the 90's off the streets, signing up 90210's Jennie Garth and Party of Five's Lacey Chabert for made-for-TV movie gigs. [Variety]

· The headline "Yellow Wiggle Decides to Stop Performing" may not mean much to you, but trust us, there are millions of four-year-olds tearfully clutching CD covers right now and angrily accusing Yellow Wiggle Ono of having broken up their favorite band.
· By now you've probably heard that Sofia Coppola is a new mommy. Just like the one she almost got last week!
· We know you simply couldn't go on without knowing how Michael Douglas is doing after almost falling during a Bermudan "roof-wetting" ceremony. He's OK!
· Yes, all of Cracked.com's lame fight scenes are pretty terrible, but the knife-licking insanity of #1 wins by a wide margin.
· After over two decades, Beverly Hills is almost ready to endorse a subway route, but residents are secretly hoping the "wrong kind of people" who will inevitably end up riding it will bypass their manicured streets for whatever Santa Monica crack motel they're headed to.
· For those of you for whom the Michael Richards "Afro-American" apology on Letterman left them wanting, perhaps you'll prefer these more coherent sentiments from an old episode of Seinfeld...though they'll probably end up doing more harm than good.

For the 2000 wedding of Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas, British tabloid OK! had an exclusive contract with the Douglas-Jones enterprise to run dewy styled photos of the proceedings. Rival exclamatory publication Hello! scammed and ran their own photos, resulting in years of litigation between the two tabs. This week, the dispute reached Britain's highest court — a panel of "Law Lords" in the House of Lords. OK! claims business interference, Hello! claims the journalistic right to "spoil" its rival's scoop. Concerning a particularly unflattering Hello! shot of Douglas feeding her wedding cake, Zeta-Jones says, "I don't usually like my husband shoving a spoon down my throat to be photographed." Notice the key phrase "to be photographed" — Douglas can shove a spoon down her throat all he wants, long as it goes undocumented. So amusing that the highest British court has to waste its time with such frivolous celebrity tomfoolery. Silly foreigners! Oh, wait.

· Defamer Celebrity Style Secret: Wear your jowls on the back of your neck and your original hairline at the base of your skull to look years younger! [Hat tip to Gilded Moose for alerting us to Michael Douglas' alarming facial tightness.]
"'Hitler was a bad man, but what's wrong with having food here?' said Ashwini Phadnis, 22, a microbiology student as she tucked away a piece of chocolate cake." Real wire story on India's Hitler's Cross restaurant or Onion article? You make the call.
The Gut's figure sketching class is really starting to pay some dividends.
Now that she mentions it, yeah, Kevin Federline does resemble a weasel.
· We highly recommend Defamer blogfather Choire Sicha's piece on the short shrift honkies receive in Snakes on a Plane. Being white on Samuel L. Jackson's plane is more deadly than being a virgin in a slasher flick.
· Every model could really learn something from Jeremy Piven's unconventional hand placement choices.

Please note the newswire's careful repetition of the "former TV show host" identifier, a compassionate touch obviously included to prevent a series of tearful condolence phone calls to Catherine Zeta-Jones—whose much older husband, quite frankly, is probably one more sexagenarian facelift away from some tragic, fatal complications.

While Tom Cruise holes up in his compound and selfishly withholds all information about his alleged offspring from the world, Hollywood veteran and proud older dad Michael Douglas can't wait to let the world know about all the wonderful things his kid is up to: