• Ridykeulous, an art show curated by A.L. Steiner and Nicole Eisenman, lives up to its name with pieces featuring castrated penises and papier-mache beavers performing cunnilingus. Fun for the whole family — especially crazy Aunt Joan. [flavorpill]
• All of the Belgian and none of the waffley carbs: singer/songwriter Arno performs tonight at Joe's Pub. Syrup still an option. [Paper]
• The 92nd Street Y kicks off a Carl Jung series tonight with "Word and Image." At $25, it's way cheaper than your local shrink. [92Y]

• Artist John Currin is credited with redefining the portrait tradition in the postmodern era. Go and ask him what, exactly, that's supposed to mean, tonight at the New School. [flavorpill]
•The good folks with ADHD bring you another installment of Ritalin Readings tonight at Mo Pitkins. If you've not yet attended, do try to experience the joy of readings limited to 5 minutes or less. It's the only way it should be, really. [Ritalin Readings]
• Snow Patrol plays tonight at the Bowery Ballroom. Maybe if you listen hard enough, you can figure out what the fuck their name means. [Upcoming]

Is Amanda Scheer Demme's reign of celebrity-fellating terror about to end at the Roosevelt Hotel? Today's Page Six reports that the Roosevelt's owners are trying to tear up her contract to operate the poolside Tropicana Bar and her personal Batcave of exclusivity, Teddy's, due to clashes with the city and before a potentially damaging Rolling Stone profile hits the streets:

Nothing brings out the drunken college kids like the first vaguely warmer days of spring. (We drunken out-of-college kids drink proudly and consistently, heedless of weather.) So suddenly, here they are. And they're confusing us. To help us understand the folkways of this exotic tribe, we asked Gawker Mascot and amateur anthropologist Andrew Krucoff to don his trusty pith helmet, enlist earnest documentarian Nikola Tamindzic, and head to the remotest depths of the Central Village — the native habitat of this unusual people — to investigate. After the jump, his reports of beer pong, fake IDs, and the dreaded Look of Shame.

• Sin-e hosts the New York Press' Indie Label Jones showcase tonight. Requisite free PBR and bands you've never heard of included. [NYPress]
• There were only two listings on Flavorpill today, and White Rose Movement cancelled their gig at Mercury Lounge — so you're left with homocore DJs, burlesque, and political drag artists at Joe's Pub. Thanks, but the real fags will probably be at home exercising their crushes on Jack Bauer. [flavorpill]
• It's all Daily Show, all the time tonight at the UCB Theater: correspondent Dan Bakkedahl has the 9:30pm spot; shaggy-haired zeitgeist chronicler Demetri Martin follows at 11. [UCB]

Friday:
• Nick Prueher and Joe Pickett, the former Onion scribes behind the Found Footage Festival, show off their grubby wares at Galapagos Art Space tonight in Williamsburg. As if there is any other locale in which one might showcase video footage culled from dumpsters and thrift stores. [flavorpill]
• Mercy College hosts a seminar on everything you ever wanted to know about Nietzsche but were afraid to ask because you didn t want your prof to know you didn t actually do the reading. We re guessing it s a rather short list. [Paper]

We know the possibility of a third life for Radar leaves you almost too sexually excited to think about anything other than easing yourself into some pert young fresh intelligence. But if anything can distract you it's Blue States Lose, where we sort through the galleries at The Cobrasnake, Last Night's Party, Misshapes, and Ambrel so you don't have to. After the jump, Joey Arak deigns to grace us with his presence long enough to fulfil his hipster-mocking duties.

TMZ.com's web-enabled stalkerazzi have continued their crusade against the scourge of underage drinking at clubs in Hollywood Boulevard's storied Morality Corridor, capturing video of a bust at celeb-infested boozehole Mood late last night while trolling for evidence of the sub-21 celebrity set entering the bar. They did get footage of 19-year-old, famous-esque Laguna Beach personality Kristin Cavallari, as well as some of a 17-year-old (pictured at left) being led away in handcuffs for sneaking into the club with fake ID. Reports TMZ:

• Rap historian Jeff Chang and BET's unimonikered man about town, Toure, talk shop at Housing Works' "An Evening of Hip-Hop." The bookshop even tries to up its street cred by bringing in a DJ for the occasion. [flavorpill]
• Legendary MIT prof and quantum computer designer Seth Lloyd waxes philosophical on mind benders like, "How much information is there in the universe? What information existed at the time of the Big Bang and what happened to it? What would happen if we tried to create our world on a computer?" In other words, a guy with twice your IQ will answer the questions you come up with when you're stoned. [Upcoming]
• Got a little something left in that dimebag? Animal Collective plays Webster Hall tonight. Thanks to the Times, we can now add "bearded" to our already expansive list of hipster concert-attendee descriptors. [Upcoming]

The insomniacs at Open All Night didn't make it to the premiere of Steve Buscemi's Lonesome Jim in Chelsea last night, but they did make it to the after-party, at the nightclub Home. A bit of their report:

• Package Deals, a city-specific multidisciplinary music and film screening series, brings the best Reykjavik, Iceland, has to offer to The Tank in Tribeca tonight. We're sure the complimentary Reyka Vodka will make up for the absence of Sigur Ros. [Package Deals]
• The New Directors/New Films Festival kicks off tonight at MoMA. Check it out and gain the privilege of anointing someone the next Pedro Almodovar before Manohla Dargis gets to 'em. [flavorpill]
• You know you want to listen to Ethan Hawke read Wichita Vortex Sutra over the sounds of Philip Glass. It's all you've ever wanted since you were a young child, in fact. Lucky for you, your dream will be realized tonight at Lincoln Center. [Lincoln Center]

• Put on your dancing shoes for Terry Dean and Katie's Danceoff! at P.S. 122. Or, rather, your glasses, cause you're just watching 'em. [flavorpill]
• The latest installment of internerd reading series WYSIWYG tackles starfucking. You're sure to leave feeling 50% dirtier than when you came. [WYSIWYG]
• Days of Our Lives or Iran? (They're mutually exclusive, natch.) It's your call: CUNY offers up a lesson in daytime soap writing; CNN's Amir Taheri lectures on Iranian geopolitics at the 92nd Street Y. [Paper & 92Y]

Perhaps the best thing about living in this amazing city of ours is that on an almost daily basis, we're introduced to some new abomination that may finally cause the earth beneath us to open up and mercifully swallow this silly place whole. We give you SkyBark, a space where you and your beloved canine sidekick can indulge your behind-the-velvet-rope lifestyles together. From the bar's introductory press release:

• Norweigan dance pop princess Annie chews her gum tonight at the Mercury Lounge. If you're still behind, consider this your chance to get caught up with 2004's buzz. [flavorpill]
• The Crier describes itself as "a small magazine of big ideas," which we think means that the premiere issue contains 35,000-word articles. Editors read abbreviated versions tonight at the Cake Shop, 7PM. [Crier]
• Anti-war activism gets entertaining tonight at Hammerstein with Bring 'Em Home Now, featuring performances from Michael Stipe, Rufus Wainwright, Bright Eyes, and Margaret Cho. If the political star power doesn't attract you, maybe the open vodka bar will. [Upcoming]

Perhaps it's the within-the-city, streaming-video version of the Sports Illustrated cover curse: In Friday's Times, and in an accompanying video tour on the Times site, Ariel Kaminer sang the praises of that weird Bulgarian Bar — it's called Mehanata — on the corner of Canal and Broadway. The next day, the blog Slavs of New York received this email:

Yale had its "Blazers & Bling" party for young alumni two weeks ago, and clearly Harvard was feeling overshadowed. The solution? The Second Annual Harvard University Reunion Party, held last night at Marquee for "Class of 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002 and 2001 Harvard grads," according to the website. And not just for them "Yes your significant other or close friends can sign up on the guest list and join the party, but friends of friends is a no-go." It thus seemed pleasantly both more elitist than the repulsive Yale shindig and also less pretentious, and so we asked a recent Harvard grad to attend and fill us in.

It seems all is not well at Crobar, the insufferable megaclub in Chelsea. This email, which nightlife empress Amy Sacco sent to a small group of her club-hopping friends, landed in our inbox this morning. We should probably mention that while we know the email is for real, we have no confirmation that the events it describes actually happened. So take it for whatever it's worth:

Friday:
• The Silver Jews are playing! The Silver Jews are playing! Oh, both tonight and tomorrow night's shows are sold out? I guess you'll have to wait till next time they tour. Oh, they never, ever tour? Fuck. [Upcoming]
• Eschew drunken Irishman in favor of drunken hipsters ironically channeling drunken Irishmen at Death Disco's Second Anniversary Party at Southpaw, which features Pogues frontman Shane MacGowan on the decks. [flavorpill]

We weren't going to pay much attention to the "36 Hours: Lower Manhattan" feature in today's Times Escapes section, mostly because we never pay any attention to the Escapes section and especially because there's something a little bit ridiculous and galling about the Gray Lady of 43rd Street attempting to telling us about the cool things to do below Canal Street. But then someone sent us a link to the accompanying video, narrated by Ariel Kaminer, which we found surprisingly delightful to watch. It drags a bit in places, but hang on till the 5:46 mark, when you'll have the rare pleasure of watching a Bulgarian Bar waitress berate a Times arts editor.

• "Peeping, Probing & Porn: Four Centuries of Graphic Sex in Japan" opens today at the Museum of Sex. But you probably knew that already, perv. [Upcoming.org]
• Downtown jazz circles are marveling at Colombian harpist Edmar Castaneda's musical chops, says Flavorpill. Then again, the downtown set tends to marvel at most things Colombian. [flavorpill]
• An evening of fine music, wine, and dinner at BAM with director John Sayles. For $42, though, we hope the condoms are included. [BAM]