After he won 84 Olympic gold medals in Beijing and celebrated with a firm grip, Michael Phelps got a little screwy with his endorsement deals. He endorsed McDonald's, which made him seem insensitive to fat Americans who don't spend hours doing swimming drills every day, and he endorsed Frosted Flakes, which, you know, ditto. Some of his other endorsement choices came dangerously close to painting him as a nerd. But he's signed on with Subway now—a healthy choice! Screw McDonald's! But this causes as many problems as it solves for Fish Boy:

"The difference is that Michael Jordan only played in one brand of shoes, while Michael [Phelps] has consistently been forthcoming about his love for a variety of different foods and a variety of different quick-service restaurants," [Phelps' agent] said. "There was tremendous interest in that category well beyond McDonald's and Subway."

You hear that, McD's? Michael Phelps will endorse as many fucking fast food companies as he wants! The strong upside for Phelps is that he can now firmly claim to be endorsing a healthy product. The downside: this will make his nerd problem even worse:

Mr. Pace said he could forsee a commercial with pitchman Jared Fogle and Mr. Phelps together, one with a healthful foot-long and the other with several foot-long sandwiches. "And Michael might say, 'I need to eat more than you do, Jared,' and Jared could say, 'But at least I've got you eating right.'"

God, such a nerd. Michael, your next call should be to the Trojan corporation. [Ad Age; pic via MSNBC]