Love takes a Geldof girl under her wing, which can only lead to disaster. Drew Barrymore blames her parents for her problems, and so does Michael Douglas' smack addict kid. Brangelina's new Voight-related headache, Michael Kors' weird bellybutton. TGIFriday gossip.

  • This sounds disastrous: Now that she's lost custody of 17-year-old daughter Frances Bean Cobain, Courtney Love is thrusting the dredges of her maternal instinct upon 19-year-old socialite Pixie Geldof. They shared a taxi after the NME awards and were bizarrely cuddly, which can only spell disaster for the young Geldof. Stumbling out of cars at midnight with Courtney Love is never a good sign, especially before your twentieth birthday. [DailyMail]
  • Sean Penn saved a woman and an orphan from a collapsed building in Haiti, then drove them in a truck to a hospital camp near Port-au-Prince, where both remain, since they have nowhere else go. [TMZ]
  • This must be why Angelina hates her dad: Jon Voight is giving still more interviews about his reunion with his daughter and her family. "I've been waiting so long to hug my grandchildren and it was amazing, they are the most beautiful, loving kids you could imagine." Jon, I know you're excited, but STFU or she'll ditch you again. [Radar]
  • But "you can't live your life blaming your failures on your parents," says Drew Barrymore. Then she pivots and blames her crappy love life on them: "I didn't have the kind of childhood that would have given me any sort of perspective on what a happy home or relationship would feel like." She's let go mostly, "but I won't deny that the baggage was there at some point." [ShowBizSpy]
  • Good god, what is wrong with Michael Kors' bellybutton? [fig.1] It's like his umbilical cord never came off. Does Michael Kors have a malignant tumor on his bellybutton? I'm too distracted by the bellybutton even to speculate about his cute friend. [TMZ]
  • New drinking game: Every time a deejay hollers "Octomom in the building!" take a shot. What, that's never happened to you? [P6]
  • Hurt Locker producer Nicolas Chartier violated an Academy Award ban on "negative campaigning" when he trashed Avatar in an e-mail to Oscar voters begging them to vote for his indie flick, "not a $500 million film." Then he pleaded "naivete, ignorance of the rules." He's so indie, he didn't even know. [P6]
  • A mysterious YouTube video of ultimate fighter Chuck Liddell and girlfriend Heidi Northcott working out naked but for their shoes turns out to be a "viral campaign" for Reebok. [TMZ]
  • Andrew Koenig's parents have reclaimed their son's body, but that's not why they walked off Larry King Live yesterday. Apparently they thought the show was being "disrespectful" by pushing their segment back one too may times. [TMZ]
  • Bachelor cheater Rozlyn Papa has not one but "multiple" sex tapes on the market. I question whether The Bachelor and and the amateur sex tape market share even one common audience member. [TMZ]
  • Michael Douglas' heroin-addicted drug-dealing son's legal defense: A "dysfunctional upbringing" and "who his parents are." That's why Cameron Douglas' lawyers says he should be freed on bail, but the judge disagreed. [NYDN]
  • Susan Boyle's brother confirmed that the Hairy Angel's mental state is, as is common knowledge, not well: "She needs 24-hour care. She needs to be looked after." Isn't this pretty common for celebrities, though? Get her a personal assistant, an agent, and a maid, she'll be fine. [DailyMail]
  • PETA's latest publicity stunt—billboards of Tiger Woods that say "Too much sex can be a bad thing"—will be replaced with billboards of Mark Sanford due to a "kind but firm" warning from Tiger's agent. It's going to be the sexy version of Bob Barker imploring you to spay or neuter your pet. I think they should go for a castration theme: "Wouldn't you love to castrate this man? Now go chop your dog's balls off instead." Dear PETA, I am available for freelance work. [P6]
  • Seth Green asked model-actress girlfriend Clare Grant to marry him, and she said yes. Happy trails. [ShowBizSpy]

Figure 1.