The Brown University student newspaper, the Daily Herald, is very sorry that Brown students shared photos of 17-year-old Malia Obama in the general vicinity of a pyramid of red Solo cups that may or may not have been used for beer pong (which the First Daughter may or may not have been playing).

Malia Obama, eldest daughter of the President of the U.S. and possible Joey Bada$$ superfan, is currently touring prospective colleges to decide which one she would like to attend and, according to some student narcs she encountered this week, learn the game of beer pong.

The rules of beer pong vary from region to region—Is blowing allowed? When can you rerack the cups? What should we pee on and whose dad is getting us all jobs after graduation?—but it’s universally understood that defenders should create a distraction while their opponents are shooting. That distraction probably shouldn’t be a gun, though.

This is the Tonight Show in 2014, in which we learn that Annie Hall either doesn't know or just doesn't care how beer pong works.

Police in Montgomery County, Maryland have arrested a 38-year-old real estate appraiser and amateur beer pong player for allegedly raping at least four young men–several of whom he met at beer pong tournaments–over the past ten years.

Nerd Broville, a mesh-shorted seaside town with Call of Duty casinos and a high-speed party monorail, has a new Mayor. His name is Christian Reed, he's a member of MIT's Phi Beta Epsilon fraternity, and he has solved a problem that's plagued nerd bros for eons: the sticky balls (heh) and constant spillage (heh heh) that come along with those long, arduous nights of Olympic beer-pong feats.

It's such a hassle to go to the drug store and search all the aisles for beer, ping-pong balls, and condoms so that you can get wasted, play beer pong, and then have a regretful, half-flaccid hookup with some poor someone. Now one drug store is putting them all together for your convenience.

Bars exist for people to hang out with their friends, watch the game, unwind, and maybe play a game of pool or pick up a bit of strange for the evening. What bars are not for are all your silly games that are not only annoying, but dangerous. People are getting sued!

Don't see Santa Claus in the picture yet? You will soon. Isn't Santa supposed to be fat, jolly, and most of all wearing a shirt?

Don't see the Mad Hatter in the picture yet? You will soon. He's going to have to reimburse his friends $11.50 for red solo cups and beer. Also featured: a poorly-constructed beer pong table.

Teams came from all over the city to compete in Gawker Media's second annual beer pong tournament this past Saturday. The day was beautiful, the music was blaring, and there was beer a-plenty. Inside, a look at what went down.

Nathan's annual Hot Dog Eating Contest takes place on July 4th. With all the speculation about the contestants, let's get one thing clear: Competitive eating is not a sport. Here are some other activities that should stop pretending they're athletics.

Kelly Ripa tells Regis about her first time playing beer pong with Jimmy Fallon. It may have been boring as hell, but Kelly's lingo in her play-by-play are about as inappropriate as Kelly playing beer pong in the first place.

This game of beer pong takes its players all the way into the sky...but is that really possible or is this all just editing tricks?

We liked him so much when all we knew was that he gave us our new president of hope, but Obama campaign manager David Plouffe ruined all that by babbling about beer pong to Esquire.

Beer Pong—the game of choice for Gawker Media ad sales staffers, Manhattan politicos, and Rex Sorgatz—may give you herpes, gonorrhea, mono, and Hepatitis. [CollegeOTR, Previously]

JV Games was all set to release Beer Pong for the Nintendo Wii as part of its new Frat Party Games series (forthcoming titles include It's Not Gay, It's Tradition and Honor Council Testimony: Age of Consent Edition). Then the killjoy parents got involved, saying it's not right encouraging underage drinking, even in the virtual world. So now the thing's called Pong Toss, which, according to Time, will feature "pixelated cups of water." Use your Xbox to draft a pixelated transfer application. As it turns out, however, water as an alternative chug resource has also caused problems on university campuses:

The smack-talk inspiring contest of beer pong — known as beiruit in some quarters — scheduled between Facebook and IAC subsidiary CollegeHumor is off. Why? Because Facebook's PR and legal departments said so, CollegeHumor cofounder Ricky Van Veen told our tipster:

When Google took on Facebook in ultimate frisbee, Facebook took the series 2-0. Now we hear a contest of beer pong — the drinking game involving ping pong balls, Solo cups and Milwaukee's Best — has been scheduled between Mark Zuckerberg's finest and the New York-based, IAC-backed CollegeHumor. CollegeHumor cofounder Ricky Van Veen began the smack talk early posting the above image to his blog. It reads:

When first we viewed these photos (obtained by trusty Intern Kate and a shutterbug sidekick) of Saturday night's Assistant Beer Pong Tournament at Melrose Ave. binge-drinking mecca El Guapo, the event seemed as drunkenly care-free as we'd expected, carrying on the proudly crapulent tradition of the throwdowns of the previous two years. But after learning that the cherished Beer Pong Trophy had been snatched before the champions from Team Gold Circle could rightfully claim it, these images now take on an added poignancy as reminders of a simpler, more innocent time, when people could connect by chugging cheap beer and screaming at each other across folding tables instead of a telephone line. Damn you, anonymous trophy-jacker, for tainting the desk-slave equivalent of the Super Bowl with your selfish disregard for something so pure.