Miley Cyrus snaps at a paparazzo. Christina Aguilera returns to the scene of her public intoxication. Lindsay Lohan prepares for her big day in court. Brangelina's children "turn violent." Thursday gossip wonders what Lindsay Lohan will wear to court today.

  • Miley Cyrus went apeshit on a paparazzo who bumped her mother with a camera, which was great for all the other papparazzi present, because they all got video and photos of Miley Cyrus going apeshit. "Are you serious? You just rammed my mom with your camera," she yells, grabbing the photographer's camera, shoving him, and pointing at his face. "Don't you ever do that again. You just almost hurt my mom. Don't you ever even think about it." Let us take this as evidence that, as her parents divorce and father Billy Ray Cyrus talks trash behind his daughter's back, Miley is on Team Tish. [X17, screengrab via X17's video]
  • Three days after her public intoxication bust, Christina Aguilera went back to the same eatery where she got publicly sloshed, and got publicly sloshed again. She and boyfriend Matthew Rutler downed two bottles of wine between them and ended up "tipsy." Apparently she's "lost her confidence since she split with [ex-husband] Jordan [Bratman]. She gets terribly sad, and that's when the awful memories come flooding back and she ends up numbing herself with booze and food." At least she isn't drinking on an empty stomach. [Us, Star]
  • Lindsay Lohan is going to court today, where she will finally say whether or not she's going to take a plea deal, which would definitely mean she goes to jail, although maybe only for a week or two. Last night she issued a statement: "I am ready for court tomorrow, and I believe that the truth will prevail through all of this." So, while we wait with bated breath to see what happens in court and what inappropriately sexy outfit she wears (who are we kidding, the outfit is the most important part) here are some famous people talking about Lindsay. Paris Hilton: "Lindsay is a good person so I want her to turn it around." And stylist-turned-reality star Rachel Zoe: "We had a great run. I wish [Lohan] the best and hope that everything works out." Free Lindsay Lohan! That necklace was ugly, anyway! [TMZ, Radar, Digital Spy, THR]
  • In yet another rambling radio interview, Charlie Sheen issued a "half apology" for calling Two and a Half Men co-star Jon Cryer a troll: "I'll apologize to Jon right now. I was in a mood and I threw that out to somebody… It's a half apology—it's an apol! I didn't know they—well, I kinda knew they were gonna print it. I confuse myself." Yourself and everyone else, Charlie. [K-Earth101 via People]
  • Charlie Sheen also returned to The Dan Patrick Show, the radio show where he debuted his recent spell of insanity, to endorse Rob Lowe as an appropriate Two and a Half Men replacement (the producers already put the kibosh on that) and to announce, "This could be my final interview. This is where it all began and where it all ends." I'll believe it when I see (hear?) it. On the up side, Charlie Sheen has singlehandedly made talk radio relevant, again. Who needs fake callers when you've got Charlie Sheen on the line? [Dan Patrick Show]
  • Ellen DeGeneres asked polygamist reality show patriarch Kody Brown if he ever mixes up his wives' names: "You know, it's funny, I never did until [fourth wife] Robyn came into the family and lately I've been slipping up a lot." Third wife Christine explains the appeal: "I don't want a guy around all the time. I didn't want to marry a guy by himself. I thought that sounded like too much work." Polygamy: A great option for closeted lesbians in extremist Mormon sects. [Ellen]

"Brad & Angie's KIDS TURN VIOLENT!" the National Enquirer reports. Apparently Maddox, Zahara, Pax, and Shiloh are "kicking, punching, scratching" monsters who attack each other constantly. Maddox and Pax got into a fight at school! Twin miracle babies Vivienne and Knox are quaking in fear of their rambunctious older siblings! I don't even care to evaluate the shades of truth and fiction in this story. I just want to revel in the glory of this Enquirer cover, which includes images of Pax violently stretching his mouth and Maddox violently licking the hem of his shirt, forever. [Enquirer, Celebitchy]

  • Arnold Schwarzenegger got pulled over for a traffic violation, but got off with just a warning. Bad move, traffic cop: Should've cited him, so you can get his autograph on the ticket. [TMZ]
  • The night before Alice in Chains bassist and Celebrity Rehab cast member Mike Starr died, he left a voicemail for a friend begging for help scoring "bud," saying, "I need it so bad." Whereas I thought that voicemail was just going to be depressing, it was actually depressing and a little odd, because marijuana isn't what you expect to hear about on the night of a long-time drug addict's untimely death. Mike's roommate said he was mixing prescription drugs that night, too. [TMZ]