crazies

"We're Gonna Have the Greatest Stuff Ever Created" 

Hamilton Nolan · 02/08/16 09:00AM

PLYMOUTH, NEW HAMPSHIRE—Inside of Donald Trump’s rally on Sunday in northern New Hampshire, the press stayed inside of a tiny prison, where they were safe. Surrounding them: haters.

Hamilton Nolan · 02/05/16 02:32PM

Life at the world’s largest hedge fund: “In an iPad app called ‘Dot Collector,’ employees weigh in on the direction of conversations while they are happening. Employees also are quizzed about the outcome of meetings. Any meeting of at least three people is expected to hold at least one poll.”

Peggy Noonan's Surprising Nonwhite Encounter

Hamilton Nolan · 02/05/16 09:35AM

Peggy Noonan—white of skin, fair of hair, pure of heart. An American, a care bear, in the state of New Hampshire, alert. Whot doth Peggy espy approaching nigh? Lo—it is those whose skin is brown. Question them, we shall.

The NYPD Is Run by an Out-of-Touch Old Man

Hamilton Nolan · 02/04/16 09:48AM

Bill Bratton, the head of the NYPD, presides over an army of 35,000 officers and dictates law enforcement policy for a sprawling metropolis. He is also scared of riding the subway.

The Curse of Peggy Noonan Descends Upon Bernie Sanders

Hamilton Nolan · 01/29/16 09:30AM

Ronald Reagan action figure collector Peggy Noonan has, shall we say, a checkered record of political predictions. Today, she tars one Bernard Sanders with her dastardly Wand of Bad Luck.

Hamilton Nolan · 01/26/16 12:49PM

“‘As I’m looking for a job, spending this kind of money shocks me,’ Hansen says of her $14,000 annual fitness budget, ‘but it keeps me sane.’” Some people value fitness classes very highly.

Another Bad Year for Gold Bugs

Hamilton Nolan · 12/31/15 11:30AM

Gold, the favored investment of Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and the old man at the post office who invited you over to see his industrial-size canned bean supply room, is down for the third straight year.

The Dream Ticket: Trump-Carson (Independent)

Hamilton Nolan · 12/11/15 12:52PM

If listening to the current Republican presidential frontrunners speak is scaring you to death, here is something to make you feel better: there is now a semi-plausible scenario in which the entire party hilariously self-destructs.

You Will Not Die in a Mass Shooting

Hamilton Nolan · 12/04/15 09:09AM

Some very visible bad things have happened. Dozens of people have been shot. Some people are very afraid. They don’t need to be.

Carrying a Gun—A Little Extreme, Don't You Think?

Hamilton Nolan · 11/25/15 10:34AM

Humans invented weapons in part to equalize the physical differences between us. That’s perfectly understandable. But does your weapon have to be a gun? Chill out. Jesus.

Hamilton Nolan · 11/12/15 03:25PM

Ben Carson said yesterday that free college education would cause “the destruction of the nation.” We’re now in the part of the campaign where we just listen to Ben Carson talk until all his poll numbers go down for good.

Come Back to Earth Robert DeNiro

Hamilton Nolan · 11/06/15 10:16AM

At a star-studded gala honoring Angelina Jolie last night, Robert DeNiro reportedly got angry at some tech guy for “condescending” to celebrities. Chill out Robert DeNiro.