A 45-year-old British man pleaded guilty to indecent exposure and abusive behavior after he was caught drunkenly making sexual advances toward "a postbox in the middle of a shopping arcade."

On Tuesday, a lucky convenience store worker in Wheat Ridge, Colo., was spared a stickup when the guy who was planning to clean him out recognized his face. "(Expletive)," the would-be robber allegedly said (What expletive?). "I was going to rob this place, but I know you."

From time to time we publish letters from death row inmates. Today, we bring you a letter from Jeffrey Wogenstahl, who is scheduled to be executed by the state of Ohio in January of 2016.

A 17-year-old girl allegedly attacked a male classmate last week because the boy farted near her at a Staten Island high school. Prosecutors say Joquasha Rosado smashed the 15-year-old victim in the head with a metal stool before repeatedly punching him in the face.

Joseph Gibbons, a filmmaker and former M.I.T. professor, is facing felony robbery charges in two states after after allegedly filmed himself stealing $1,000 from a Manhattan bank on New Year's Eve and $3,000 from a bank in Rhode Island in November, the New York Post reports. Gibbons.

George Zimmerman, America's chosen mascot for the reasonable use of lethal force, was arrested in Florida late Friday night on suspicion of domestic violence and aggravated assault with a weapon, again. At a court hearing Saturday morning, a judge granted Zimmerman a $5,000 bond.

A 5-year-old Florida girl is dead after her father threw her off a bridge and into Tampa Bay, 62 feet below, St. Petersburg police say.

A man was arrested at a Hudson, Fla., Kmart Monday while wearing a shirt that said "WHO NEEDS DRUGS? No, seriously, I have drugs." Pasco County deputies allege that—surprise!—he had drugs.

On top of everything else, a bomb blew up outside the office of the Colorado Springs, Colorado NAACP chapter yesterday.

The 30-year-old man who allegedly shot and killed his hedge fund manager father Sunday afternoon reportedly did so after an argument over a small cut in his monthly allowance. The New York Post reports that Thomas Gilbert Jr. murdered his father Thomas Gillbert Sr. after learning that his allowance had been reduced by $200; the New York Daily News puts the number at $100.

He just wanted some candy. According to the New York Post, that's what a drunk Brooklyn man told authorities after leading them on a thrilling five-minute, 35 mph street sweeper chase on Thursday.

Police in Edmonton, Alberta have confirmed the deaths of eight victims, including two children, across two crime scenes in the city's worst multiple homicide since 1956. A "suicidal male" sought in connection with the murders was found dead at a third location.

When Uniontown, Pa., police arrived at the scene of a pizza shop robbery, their primary suspect denied he was at fault. Eric Frey said someone else forced him at gunpoint to write a stickup note on a piece of toilet paper—"I have a gun. Give me $300."—and hand it to the cashier at Michael Maria's Pizza.

"I'm here to feed the pigs." According to The Boston Globe, that's what a Massachusetts woman said on Friday before throwing a Dunkin' Donuts box full of sausage and bacon at the front desk of the Framingham police station.

Authorities in Seattle are searching for a shank-wielding Scrooge after they say he stabbed a fellow traveler for sitting too close to him on the bus, KOMO-TV reports.

A couple in Ohio was robbed of four puppies on Christmas morning. Puppies! Can you imagine?

Patrick Lynch is the 51-year-old president of the Patrolmen’s Benevolent Association, the largest and most influential union of the New York City Police Department. You might recognize his name: Over the weekend, Lynch blamed Bill de Blasio for the Saturday deaths of two Brooklyn cops who were murdered by a lone gunman from Georgia. “That blood on the hands,” he said at a press conference, “starts on the steps of City Hall, in the office of the mayor.”

Last week, police arrested Gaylard Williams, a 59-year-old Indiana pastor known for his homophobic preachings, for—well, what do you think? Louisville’s WLKY station supplies the only possible answer:

After being shot with a steel-tipped hunting arrow, it took a dolphin recently found dead in an Alabama bayou at least five days to finally succumb to its injuries. Now investigators believe they have caught the culprit, an unnamed juvenile.

A Brooklyn deli worker fought off a masked gunman who attempted to rob his store last weekend, then promptly quit his job. He is the best employee in America.