Despite our warnings to you that this would happen if you didn't run out and purchase several cases of wildly overpriced pears, it appears that you didn't listen: Harry & David has declared bankruptcy.

Do you know what today is, in addition to being a tragic day of global devastation? It's Rupert Murdoch's 80th birthday! No need to comment on any issues of karma. Born into a newspaper-owning family in Melbourne in 1931, Rupert parlayed a single small newspaper in Adelaide into a national—and then global—media powerhouse. Who among us can say we have not had our lives affected by Rupert and his properties? Every time you watch The Simpsons or Bill O'Reilly, read the Wall Street Journal or a London tabloid, or watch a rerun of Napoleon Dynamite, you are, in your own way, being touched by the News Corp empire. It's amazing and not a little bit scary.

Jennifer Tapper, wife of ABC White House correspondent Jake Tapper, has given her husband the best gift of all for Valentine's Day: She joined Twitter. And tweeted at him. It is the love story of our time.

If you're in a committed relationship, you'll need to observe Valentine's Day in one way or another. The problem is that there are few suitable gifts for the romantic holiday and each one carries with it a certain connotation. Be careful what you choose, because it says a lot about you.

Harry & David, the company that makes expensive fruit baskets to send to people you don't know that well, admitted yesterday that it's in danger of going bankrupt if it doesn't find some new financing, fast. What's the problem?

This week's Oprah Winfrey Show is being broadcast from Sydney, Australia! On today's episode, Winfrey—and special guest Jay-Z—surprised an entire school of boys (and their female teacher) with a $1 million gift of new laptops. The video, inside.

The Golden Globes, which take place tonight, are known for their freebies Even rich and famous people love not paying for things! Each year's giveaways are more absurd than the last, and this year is no exception.

We asked for your stories about receiving horrible gifts for Christmas, and they turned out to be even worse (or is that better?) than we ever expected. Here are some of our favorites, and the well-deserved winner.

Click to viewHundreds of kids in New York City think that Santa Claus lives on West 22nd Street. He does not (he lives in the North Pole, duh)—these two guys do. But after receiving 450 letters, they're helping out anyway.

Between the travel, bad weather, and family functions, Christmas can be perilous. But nothing is more fraught than the act of gift giving. We know you people have gotten some awful gifts, and we want to hear about it.

Christmas is only five days away, and it's likely that some of us (ahem) haven't done any shopping at all. Need some ideas? Here are some gift suggestions for the various weirdos you might still have to shop for.

Scorched earth flight attendant Steven Slater—who slid down an inflatable slide and into our hearts last summer—is raising funds for his legal defense by selling "Let It Slide" t-shirts on his website, just in time for the holidays.

On a scale from zero to Oprah, Ellen's audience gave a reaction that was closer to normal. Then again they got Nooks while Oprah gave away iPads.

Parents: Did you already get Junior that $0.99 lead-enriched plastic coal lump for this year's Christmas present during the maniacal "Black Friday" stampede? Morons! You should've ponied up for "Resisting the Green Dragon," the Religious Right's anti-environmentalist DVD series.

Since it's Black Friday, people are probably already pestering you about what gifts you want for Christmas. You'll ask for some small things, but what's on your real list? What items are too inappropriate to ask for?

The LA County Coroner's office gift shop has seen lackluster sales over the years, so auditors suggested they hire a marketing firm. The office's chief knows they have a cash cow: "There is a mystique about the LA County coroner."

A PhD student in New Zealand has invented an internet "bot" to automatically shower him with gifts by buying cheap items in online auctions. Because computer friends, you see, do not forsake you.

Sarah Palin was in Phoenix for a Tea Party rally on Friday, where she had the wonderful opportunity to meet Maricopa County's legally questionable, self-promoting celebrity sheriff, Joe Arpaio. And apparently he gave her pink underwear.

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg will appear on Oprah Friday to announce a $100 million donation to help resuscitate Newark's failed public school system. That's a lot of money, even for someone worth $6.9 billion. Talk about some well-timed PR!

The grand dame of news aggregation, Huffington Post co-founder Arianna Huffington, turns 60 today. What should we give her? Last year, Arianna crowdsourced her birthday party. This year, we're going to crowdsource the ultimate Arianna Huffington birthday gift.