President Bush will retire to Preston Hollow, just outside Dallas, after leaving the White House but prior to being brought to justice. The town has rich people, golf and horsies. Cindy Adams is apparently the first non-conspirator to know. [Post]
Jennifer Aniston was photographed holding hands on a Mexican beach with a MYSTERY MAN. He's OLDER. Also, she's just friends (third item) with actor Gerard Butler even though he was totally TOUCHING HER THIGH.
Alec Baldwin hates TMZ's Harvey Levin, who made famous Baldwin's abusive voice mail to his 11-year-old daughter and who, Baldwin writes, "seemed to be that breed of tabloid creature that realized an almost sexual level of pleasure from ruining other people's lives." Previously, the voice mail had been the fault of the daughter, then the media, then the entire family court system. Oh, also, his ex-wife, who "reaches an almost sexual level of satisfaction when she's in a room full of high-priced lawyers." Sounds familiar!
Lindsay Lohan called Sarah Palin a "narrow minded, media obsessed homophobe" on Lohan's MySpace page, citing a conference her church on "converting" gays. "She can suck it." [MySpace, Daily News]
Roger Ebert said he can take being thwacked by that Postmovie critic who got annoyed with him at a screening, but his wife (pictured) told the Daily News "I'll get a no-neck guy from the West Side to break his knees." [R&M]
Anne Hathaway broke up with Rafaello Follieri by speakerphone, saying, "you were the love of my life." Then he was arrested while she went to promote her movie in Mexico. Seeya, let's stay friends 'k?! [Us, Vanity Fair]
Katie Holmes got a visit from concerned ex-boyfriend and former Dawson's Creek co-star Joshua Jackson at rehearsals for her Broadway play, a British magazine reported. Jackson had this crazy idea that Holmes has been sucked into an isolating Scientology vortex, but Holmes was still thrilled to see and de-Thetanize him. [Showbiz Spy]
Today host Ann Curry moved during the national anthem at the Republican National Convention, because NBC hates freedom. Then she pointed at a nice lady from Alaska and yelled, because she is a terrorist. The Virgin Islands were also terribly offended. [P6]
Lindsay Lohan is "not going the [New York] magazine road again," the star's rep reportedly told Playboy, by way of rejecting a $700,000 offer to be photographed topless. Because what's the fun in getting paid for it? [Post]
Britney Spears drank at 13, lost her virginity at 14 and started taking drugs at 15, her mom said in a tell-all memoir. By 16 the singer was caught with cocaine and pot on a private jet, and mom was feeling guilty about letting her sleep with Justin Timberlake and make "raunchy" music videos. But releasing a tell-all memoir about Spears six months after Spears's latest trip the psychiatric ward? No regrets! [Sun]
Joe Francis, the Girls Gone Wild scuzz, has for some reason hired as his personal assistant Holly Montag, sister of the actress Heidi Montag. He reports she is "probably the best assistant I have ever had," by which he means she waited for him to get out of prison and greatly increases the chances he will score some sort of reality television deal. [P6]
It's not that Kevin Spacey wanted to pull down his friend's boxer shorts so much as that Croatian nightclub tradition basically required him to do so. [LA Rag Mag]
Luke Russert golf-carted around the Democratic convention like some kind of boy king while his bitter coworkers had to hoof it. Obviously this rumor is made up, because everyone knows NBC correspondents air their bitter grievances only on camera. [P6]
Tim Gunn of Project Runway thinks Katie Holmes is regressing, fashionwise, with the baggy jeans and overall tomboy look. But maybe husband Tom Cruise likes the tomboy look. Or, better still, hates it! Maybe she's regressing to more independent days. [People]
Anne Hathaway: "I was kind of afraid of [Barack] Obama the first time I saw him... I was afraid to trust him and I was afraid to have hope when I first kind of became aware of him. It was around the time that he gave his speech on race that I just said 'I can't deny how I feel about you, Barack Obama.'" Please just stop talking, Anne. This is almost worse than the Madonna/McCain/Hitler thing. [AP]
Madonna probably helped John McCain a bit by showing a video of him alongside images of Hitler, Robert Mugabe, starving children and global warming. Obama was depicted as Gandhi and John Lennon. Luckily for Obama this video has not yet been shown in the U.S. [Times]
No one is buying tickets to go see Katie Holmes' big Broadway play even though she's basically killing herself trying to do the play and jet back to LA to see Tom Cruise and work out and raise her daughter. "She looked pretty groggy."
