The final wisps of Spencer Pratt's sanity seemed to slip away from him tonight on the Hills when during a neighbor's 7 year-old birthday party, he blasted Heidi's mom for "emotionally raping" her daughter, calling her "just a vagina." Classy!

It's how she celebrated the National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. Charlie Sheen's wife owns a sex swing. Kristen Stewart says she's not sulky. Meet LiLo's new best friend: Her 300-lb bodyguard. TGIFriday gossip.

Last week, the resculpted Heidi went home for the first time. Tonight's episode of the Hills saw Spencer taking over as conductor of his family's crazy train and ruin a perfectly good BBQ with crystals and dramatics.

Halle Berry and Gabriel Aubry split. Chelsea Handler has a sex tape. Johnny Weir and Evan Lysacek are at war. Lance Armstrong's unborn baby has a Twitter account. A topless bong pic causes controversy. Saturday's gossip roundup is making waves.

Today at Gawker.TV, Jessica Simpson's addicted to Nicorette without ever smoking before, The Bachelor Jake cries his way off of Dancing With the Stars, Courtney Love drops by The View, and Heidi Montag reveals her new face to her mother.

Forget Arizona. We're going to boycott The Hills this season, because it's managed to go from mildly amusing horrorshow to something far more sinister. It's a dark and ugly show, with no redeeming value. Don't watch it.

Heidi Montag made headlines and drew criticism months ago when she underwent massive plastic surgery that severely altered her appearance. Tonight's premiere of the final season of The Hills saw Heidi coming home for the first time since her transformation.

Kate Hudson was spotted at Coachella with weirdo British rocker Thom Yorke. Bret Michaels lives. Eating a burger is physically impossible for Heidi Montag. Kate's babies get cleared by the Department of Labor. Sunday's gossip roundup is a creep.

They liked to do it with Larry's show on in the background. Sandra Bullock stands at the precipice of divorce. Tiger Woods "parties like a rockstar" at a Nickelback concert. Wednesday's gossip roundup keeps it in the family.

Sharon Osbourne is getting her implants removed, but long-time pancake-chest Kate Hudson sized up. Females are either returning to a natural state, or evolving into a half-silicone half-human cyborg race. Which is it? A report on the State of Breasts.

Heidi Montag says Adam DiVello touched her plastic body inappropriately. The Larry-King-had-sex-with-his-sister-in-law drama continues. Cindy Adams loves Jersey Shore. Charlie Sheen shaved his head and Kate Hudson got a boob job. Thursday's gossip wants its old body back.

[Her elbows frozen at right angles and toes perpetually flexed, Fameball Barbie poses with her airhead husband Spencer at a pool party in Las Vegas. Image via Pacific Coast News.]

They're "laughing and flirting" now—when will they start canoodling? Suri Cruise hits the bottle to mask depression. Jon Gosselin entertains another TV show. Tiger Woods mistress #15. Catherine Zeta-Jones' bones. Sunday's gossip roundup is highly suspicious.

Sandy is afraid divorce will make Jesse crazy. Naomi Watts and Liev Schreiber aren't breaking up. Dennis Hopper has to shell out fat alimony payments. Michael Jackson's doctor won't cop a plea. Tuesday's gossip is due in family court.

And have we reached a consensus on which is worse, yet? Tiger Woods' mistress talks tampons, Bode Miller gets dirty at a Playboy party, Heidi Montag schools Lindsay Lohan. Here's your Wednesday gossip.

A "rock solid source" says B is knocked up. Jesse James' fourth mistress comes forward. Remember when Sandra said, if he cheated, she'd beat him with a baseball bat? Heidi Montag works on a screenplay about 3-D boobs. TGIFriday gossip.

She wants total control of her daughter's life. Reese Witherspoon has a new man. Jesse James' ex-wife fights for custody—again. No one shows at Bethenny's baby shower. Octomom gets a porn offer. Monday's gossip is pregnant and horny.

The Grey's Anatomy star can't stay dressed! Details about the tattooed lady Sandra Bullock's husband slept with. George Clooney is a generous voter. The Paula Abdul Star Search deal is off. Friday's gossip is working on its farmer's tan.

Mrs. Pratt's bikini top overfloweth and the paparazzi goes wild. What caused the Winslet-Mendes divorce? Ashley Dupre sets her hair on fire while posing naked. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt dares to wear pants. Wednesday gossip is full of risks.

She just can't forgive Tiger for sleeping with a porn actress. Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz reunited. Michael Jackson signs a deal from beyond the grave. Every New Yorker hates Brooke Shields. Tuesday's gossip is not taking it anymore.