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Some of the most memorable lines in cinema are plain ol' introductions. Understated but always meaningful, the way different characters say it already reveals so much about their style. There are 250 instances here.

Hello everyone! I am your new Gawker staffer Jim Newell, and I will be writing about everyone's favorite horror show, American politics, right here all day every day. Should you even bother reading? Yes! (Please?)

Hello. I'm Max Read and I am going to be hanging out here for a while blogging about things, at night.

It's generally a pretty safe assumption that something ridiculous will happen each year at The MTV Movie Awards, and tonight's version of the show did not disappoint. Sacha Baron Cohen just descended bare-assed from the ceiling as "Bruno" and landed in Eminem's lap in the "69" position. Hilarity ensued.

Hi there! I'm Cajun Boy and I'll be filling in on the night shift this week while the lovely and gracious Ryan Tate takes a much-deserved vacation. Let's get acquainted!

On this rainy Saturday, we're going to try out something new in Gawker weekend programming: for the next couple hours, Patrice Evans, a/k/a The Assimilated Negro (or T.A.N. for short), will be your guest host.

An ad currently running on Variety is promoting something called Carmen Meets Borat, a documentary about a Romanian girl whose life is thrown into upheaval when Sacha Baron Cohen and co. substitute her village for the title character's Kazakh hometown in Borat. We use the term "promoting" loosely, however, unless you consider "inviting a lawsuit by alerting Cohen to your existence" is promoting:

Good morning to you, the loyal Defamer reader. A few quick administrative notes to share with you on this Monday morning. First off, Seth is taking a well-deserved vacation this week; while we're all going to miss him, we're happy to announce that Amy Kaufman has agreed to join us for the next two days in a guest blogger capacity. For those of you that are unfamiliar, here's a quick bio.

We'd like to interrupt your regular Wednesday morning Defamer reading activities to introduce you to the newest member of our editorial team. Taking a cue from our dog-eared copy of the Brangelina playbook, we are thrilled to announce that Kyle Buchanan —who was recently declared malaria-free— is joining our ranks in the position of Associate Editor, where he will be helping us stir the pop culture pot each and every day. You may remember Kyle from his guest blogging stint late last month, but you'll certainly recognize his byline from his work in magazines like Flaunt and The Advocate, not to mention the beloved (and much missed) LA-based webzine Ostrich Ink. We are confident that you will quickly become as enamored with his keen cultural observations and love for movies and television as we already are. So, with that, everyone please give a warm welcome to Kyle (*cough* let the hazing begin! *cough*). Now, on with the show...

As C. Montgomery Burns would say, "Ahoy-hoy!" Just a quick note on this lovely Thursday morning. We're excited to announce that Sarah Regan, of Prongs Of LA infamy, will be on board in a guest blogger capacity for the next two days. As is customary around these parts, I'll step away from the mic and allow Sarah to introduce herself to you...

Good news to share with you, the loyal Defamer readership, on this Tuesday night. We are excited to announce a new addition to the Defamer staff, Miss Tricia Romano. Broadly speaking, Tricia will be filing an item or so a day for us, focusing mainly on the cultural and nightlife beat. But instead of me prattling on, I'll turn it over to Tricia to introduce herself...

You may not know this, but somebody’s having a birthday this week. That’s right, it’s your old buddy America. And to celebrate, President Bush has given all his loyal subjects Friday off. But with the specter of a long flag-filled weekend looming in the horizon, some folks have decided to check out a little early. Talk shows are in reruns, agents and lawyers aren’t returning calls, and even our own ST VanAirsdale has headed off to Bora Bora on a secret tryst with Nikki Finke. But here at Defamer HQ, the show must go on. That’s why we called in the extremely talented (and modest) Nick Malis. He’ll be guest blogging for the rest of the week, giving you all the Madonna-divorcing, Angelina-twin-having news you can handle before you gorge yourself on burgers and dogs on Friday. Give him a warm welcome, folks.