Finally, the members of the greatest sociological experiment of our time forage for their own food, and they promptly caught crabs. No, the actual crustaceans. They did not contract a horrible case of pubic lice, though they did make lots of jokes about it. The guidos never change.
Yes the major event of the most important sociological experiment of our time had to do with cake. Who ate the cake? Remember when our subjects used to crawl in the hot tub and vomit on themselves?
"Snooki's Getting Married" is the headline in In Touch Weekly, the tabloid you buy when the supermarket is out of People, Us Weekly, Star, National Enquirer, and even OK!. Except there is absolutely no truth to it.
The favorite food of many people who enjoy the greatest sociological experiment of our time is, of course, a meatball sandwich. We love when Snooki and Deena get together, even if what they're doing is stupid, immature, and somewhat immoral.
Recently Snooki and JWOWW gave an interview where Snooki said she is bisexual (no, Snooki, you just like to make out with girls every once in awhile when you're drunk) and they both alleged that reality show Gargamel, The Situation, has gay tendencies. Well, now he's pissed.
It has finally happened, Snooki's body is rebelling against her. Yes, the greatest sociological experiment of our time took a turn for the biological and now Snooki is voiding her bowels wherever she possibly can.
Snooki and J-Woww visited Andy Cohen on his late night show Watch What Happens Live, and things got predictably crazy. The peak of it all was Snooki explaining that she had contracted a urinary tract infection via butt sex, but it didn't end there. Here is a compilation of the all the show's choice moments.
The city of Hoboken, New Jersey, has denied a request for a proposed MTV Jersey Shore spinoff starring the show's boozy Lucy and Ethel JWOWW and Snooki. Damn, no one in New Jersey wants these two.
What is happening with the greatest sociological experiment of our time? Everyone is getting along. Sammi and Ronnie aren't fighting. The Situation isn't being a dick. Everyone is getting along. It's so...so...boring.
Just because they are sometimes portrayed as delightfully dim and overly tanned, most of the JS cast members are actually, potentially, possibly college graduates. For instance, did you know that Vinny has a degree in something? And Snooki also took classes in college. "We all are very smart in our own way," Sammi Giancola tells Naughty But Nice Rob. She herself is only one semester away from finishing her degree in something, so look out world.
Oh the harm that can befall a guidette during the greatest sociological experiment of our time. Sure she can't be sullied by reputation, but there are still horrible fates than can befall her, like the intractable tangle of her weave. And that was just the start of last night's disasters.
Last night during the greatest sociological experiment of our time, we had to deal with the most threatening psychological illness of our time: anxiety. Yes, Vinny, of the carefree manner and enormous schlong, was dealing with a crippling case of ennui.
The return of Jersey Shore, the most important sociological experiment of our time reminds us of a number of platitudes: You can never go home again, there are no second acts in American life, the rich are different, you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but you can't pick your friend's nose. Oh, what a sad homecoming it was.
Faith and begorrah, my ancestors on the Emerald Isle have finally launched their own version of Jersey Shore and it is something else. It's the same bad behavior with a fraction of the budget and way more brogues. How can we get this in America?
Spelling-challenged cable network Syfy has announced the cast of their latest schlocktastic made-for-television movie, Jersey Shore Shark Attack. No matter how you feel about Jersey Shore you're going to love this.
Apparently Vinny Guadagnino, the big-dicked guido from Jersey Shore, the greatest sociological experiment of our time, was a guest speaker at a Columbia sociology class yesterday. And it sounds like the students weren't too happy about it.
